breaktime, except not really

Who got an A- in organic chem? What?? wHAAttt?? hollllaaaaa.

um yeah. that's basically it. no more news here. Still haven't broken up with Mark. Can't bring myself to do it. Every time I try I have to stop because I feel guilty. I'll have to get really pissed off and do it in the spur of the moment. pbbbbbbbbbb. Maybe I should bring him to the chrismtas family gathering and let everyone tear him apart. Hilarious. I would find that entertaining... Almost as entertaining as this picture
!!!!!!!!

hedgehog pimp

The hedgehog pimp!! He was on one of my facebook friends's pictures. Um... almost as hilarious as the horse picture. He's got some british money. Maybe he'll go buy some tea with that, and some ho's. I want to get him a grill and some chains. What's even funnier is that one of the comments for this picture was.

-'I used to have a hedgehog named bryce. He died of a stroke though. Sad.'

Umm... what? lol. equally as funny as the picture.


Nothing new here. Just studying... more and more. Re-doing all the homework we got from this class to study for the final. Should be amazing. Should be.. it IS!
oh yes, my newest career idea. ( I know I know, another one. Why am I so indecisive?) I'm actually excited about this one. I could get my nursing masters, and then be a nurse specialist in wound care. I can assist with woundy surgeries, and dress wounds, and put drains on pus..ee things. (You have to be careful when using pus as an adjective.... I have found this out the hard way...) Then suck it out with cool machineries, and I would only have to be in the person's room for however long it took me. I could also set up drainage bags for ostomy poop holes, and teach people how to set up their drainage bags. Schweeeet! Then see infected drainage bag hole ostomies. I think my mouth is watering. Alright, that's all for now. bye!

Frickin hilarious

This is hilarious. I laughed for like 5 minutes.

lol . lol. lol.

doodily doo

deedley doodle. I don't want to study anymore. I kind of don't care anymore... except then when I stop studying I think.... maybe I should start studying again. It's a viscious cycle. So Basically I think more about studying then what I am actually studying. That way, when I take the test, I see a problem and say.. oh yeah.. remember when you were daydreaming about austrailia and listening to ingrid michaelson.... yeah... how do I do this again? Crap.

What else. Work was interesting this weekend. I guess it usually is. I don't think I am ever bored there. I dont' know if I really like what I'm doing, but while I'm there I don't have time to think about if I actually enjoy what I'm doing. I'm afraid to even go to the bathroom at times. What if my vent becomes disconnected and the alarm goes off ...and everyone thinks, eh, somebody else will get it. But then when I come back like 2 minutes later after peeing I find my patient all blue and not doing so hot. Sucky. This last weekend I was helping my preceptor get somebody off the commode and into bed, and all the sudden he just started bleeding from his butthole. A WHOLE lot. He passed out while we were helping him back to bed. When we got him back to bed he basically was hemmorhaging out his butthole. Nooooo goooooodd. So I hit the code button because I was closer. that's basically all I did. Then 20 other people showed up in the room and I left because I can't do anything until I'm 'code certified.' Which will be in like a year or two. More like two.

Today I was looking back at my old blog in june about this guy with a testicular sepsis thing, you know, just for fun/laughs. Like how when you write a diary when you're 8 years old and go back to read what you wrote and laugh at how weird it was. Anyways, there was this comment from a random person, who said she was a nurse, and said i made the nursing profession seem very unprofessional and I shouldn't tell stories like this. Well... you didn't have to read it whoever you are. I guess that's all I have to say. Here is the same story I wrote before, re-written so you will like it....

June, 2008
I came to work today. I love being a nurse. I love helping other people and being compassionate towards others in their most extreme time of need. I also love green grass and fresh smelling laundry. I had the privelidge of taking care of a bariatric man today. I also had the wonderful company of his bi-polar wife. It was a very interesting and knowledgeable day which I will never forget. This poor man, with his large girth, could not reach down to wash himself properly. With all of the unhealthy food readily available, it is extremely understandable, and sad, that someone could get to be this size. It is not his fault, it is ours. He was not blessed with any opportunity for education, even with his tuition payed for from the government because of his american indian descent, he was unable to finish school. Therefore he was forced to work at a casino. In this unhealthy dirty environment, he picked up a smoking habit, and aquired testicular septicemia. All I can hope for at this point is that our medicare system, and a caring nursing team can support him through this difficult struggle.

Is that better?


More depressing news, ayesha is dead. My dad brought her to the junkyard while I was at work on saturday. I think she was smoking by the time she got there. ahhh ayesha. My one and only love. You are dead. I don't want to buy a car until I have more money saved up. Do you think if after it snows I could just buy a nice sled, a rope, a long stick and a hot dog and have sofie just take me everywhere?

so irritated

I am so irritated right now. Why are so many people idiots? Mostly, when I say people, I mean Mark. UGGGHHH.. I just want to shake him until he gets shaken baby syndrome. Maybe then he won't be as dumb. For the past 5 days he has been complaining about being nauseated and bloated. I told him he probably needed to poop and to maybe take some stool softeners and drink lots of water and eat things that are easy to digest. What does he do? Not listen. EVer. He eats jalapeno sandwiches and cookie dough and large chunks of deep fried meat. IDIOT. Then he gets sick again and complains. So I tell him, maybe you should buy some over the counter protonix.. or eat a bunc of tums. OR .... you could go in and see a doctor and have them tell you what's wrong...?? Then he just says, ' no, I'm fine. ' 'What would they do anyways?'
UM... TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU... MAybe, you know, just maybe. Stupid moron face.

Then for the next 30 minutes he complains that he feels nauseated and bloated, and keeps making me think of different things that are wrong with him. I am so irritated. SO irritated. Then he goes on web md and calls me and says that it could be indigestion... or irritable bowel syndrome. RIght. Remember how I already told you similar things? MAybe, you should either take my advice, or go see a doctor... and quit complaining every 5 seconds that you're nauseated.
But then I tell him that and he says, ' no , i'm fine. It's not that bad.'
Dude. If it's not that bad maybe you should shut the hell up and stop talking before I give you shaken baby syndrome.
OR, better yet, maybe you should eat some toast or something, instead of jalapeno chips.... and maybe eat an orange .. instead of a huge chunk of cookie dough. MAybe you're making the problem worse because all you do is complain and do nothing about the problem and you are driving me insane.




AHHh.. felt good to get that out. I plan on breaking up with him either before our final or after. That way I won't have to see him for a month at least which will make things definitely less awkward.


okay. I gotta go study now. That was fun. Bye!

First days alone

It was my first weekend at work without a preceptor... aka.... Good luck not screwing up annie!! Looking back I did make one mistake. I was transporting this guy out to a medical progressive floor, but first I had to send him to get a V/Q scan. I dont' even really know what that is. Some sort of lung test that tells you if you some sort of ratio about blood flow and airflow. Thank god the patient didnt' ask me what his lung test entailed, because I really didnt' know. I could have made up a magical explanation. That would be funny. It's bad because at work of the first things I think of is, 'wouldn't it be funny if...' because really, i should be thinking, 'what is the correct explanation?' or, 'what should i do to help you?' But the guy was a jerk so I really wanted to just make something up. Like, well first, they use a huge machine to crack your chest open and pour all of this radioactive fluid all over it. Then a gremilin comes out and they put him in there for a while and he looks around and can tell, (because his eyes have x-ray vision,) if you have a PE. I usually am not this mean to people, but I really wanted to be. I mean, its' not my fault that he ate himself into a state of ginormous-osity, and then smoked a whole crapload, had a previous MI, got heart failure and kidney failure and now is an asshole. I would just ask simple questions like, would you like to sit up at the edge of the bed for breakfast?
'GOd DAmmit, I want to sit in the chair, how many times do I have to tell people? But I can't even get into the chair with all of these damn cords all over the place. I need to get the hell out of here.'

Right..(I guess he did answer my question. ' So I'll help you get in the chair then okay? would you like me to use the lift? Or would you like to use your walker?'
Obviously, he chose the lift, aka, no work for him.
So anyways, the doctor came in to see him when he was halfway in the air with the lift and their ass is just hanging out. Usually the most convenient time. That's when the doctor had like 500,000 orders for me to complete, in about 40 minutes. Awesome. That's when he found out he was going to have some , 'lung tests.' We also have these cell phones we carry around. Lots of people call you on these phones. People and doctors that I dont remember their names or ever why they are calling me. Sometimes they just say, 'are you taking care or Mr. So and so? And I say yes, and then they start talking to me about something that I dont' even know is going to happen. In this case, the doctor that had just came in to see the patient left the room, called another doctor on his phone before he wrote any orders in the computer, and then the doctor called me. Ridiculous. But I forgot, I'm a nurse nad have to do approximately 500 things at once. Oh yes, and the whole point of this paragraph, when the transporter came to get the patient we put him in a wheelchair to go down and they wanted him on a stretcher. Whatever. He can stand up and get on the bed when he gets down there.
My other patient down the hall was insane. I guess it wasn't his fault. He was a sicky mc sick. Nobody knew what was wrong with him.. some sort of sepsis from an unknown location. He would just have temps of 104-105. and his blood pressures would go to the crapper. He didnt' respond to anything, except when you touched him he cramped up into a little ball and moaned. That's all he did for 13 hours straight every day that I had him. Flex his arms and legs. Except all the days that I had him I had to bring him 5 billion places, like the mri scanner(that was super fun.... wait... No. ) Especially because you have to change out all your tubing and pumps and monitors to things that have no metal. I didn't even know where the MRI scanner was. To make it worse, the patient didnt' respond to any sort of sedation. Haldol, versed, ativan... did nothing. Nothing. he would lay still if it was completely silent and nobody was touchign him. BUt, you know, a lot of people touched him and it's not quiet in the icu... or in the MRI scanner. He also had to have a lumbar puncture and a picc line placed. No sedation worked for any of that either.
One thing that I think is interesting is that when you go into the mri scanning room with the patient, and the other nurses go back behind the wall/thick window, they ask you if you're pregnant. Because if you're not pregnant, you can't be in there. They dont' care that the mri will do something weird to your body... only the baby inside you. It seems like that for a lot of things. You can take care of this patient with a horribly contagious disease... Unless... you're pregnant. Something else I learned.... I can no longer have 50 bobbypins in my hair when I go to work, because if I have to take someone into the mri scan room you can't have any metal on you because it will fly out into the machine, or make your head vibrate. Thank god I just had a regular pony tail in. phew.

Anyways, I am definitely worn out from work. You wake up at 5:30 in the mornign and don't get home until about 8:30-9, then by the time you shower and eat and crap it's like days you are at work for 13-14 hours. dummmmbbb. Then tonight I work nights, and the next night I work nights. Even though on Fri-Sat-Sun I worked 7A-730p, and now tonight and tomorrow I work 7P-7:30Am. wang tastic. Then I have a Lab on tuesday during the day, which consists of a lab test and huge assignment/report, then on monday after break I have a o-chem test, and then on tuesday after break i have an 0chem lab final. BOooooOooo. Nurse anesthetist is looking better and better..... ppbbbbbbbbbb.

tttiiizziirreedd

So. since Friday at 8am, I have had....approximately 9 hours of sleep. REal tired. REal. But it's funny because things are much funnier. When you're that tired it's like you're living in a pretend world. I dont' really get stressed out. Like in chemistry if I don't understand, hey, its' okay, because this isn't real chemistry.. this is pretend fuzzy fun world chemistry. ooOOooo. Where right after you went to the class it feels like that class was actually yesterday, or perhaps the day before. awesome.
I don't know what it is lately, but I'm straight up addicted to watching shows with like 600+ pound people. It's unbelievable. Getting that large should get some sort of award. It's not even funny... it's .... unreal. Breathtaking. Like, that pannus of abdominal fat is exquisitely ginormous. It's weird the shapes people's bodies get to when they are like 800 pounds. It's like every part of their body has a torpedo or various sizes coming out of it. If you haven't watched one, I highly recommend it. TLC has some great crap. They wouldn't call it the learning channel otherwise.

Woah hold up.. my dog is trying to chase her tail.... and it was cut off when she was born. Maybe she just is figuring that out now. I bet she's thinking, ' maybe if I turn a little further, dangit, I still can't see it. , now? nope, turn alittle more..'

Anyways, so I was watching a show with this lady who got a bipass done when she was 687 pounds. She was with her 3 helpers and they were trying to get her into the car. I almost peed my pants on this part. Not because she was ginormous, but her exertion and comments sounded just like .. well, someone having an orgasm. lol. Everytime I re-think it imy mind it's funny. If you close your eyes and listen to a really fat person try to transfer themselves it's basically the same sounds. All this really heavy breathing and 'oh my god.' ' i don't think I can do this.' heavy breathing. whining. 'oh god.' heavy breathing, and more whining. 'ohh, lift up my leg!' more really heavy breathing and whining. etc. etc. Then when they sit down, ' oh god, we did it! ' heavy breathing. 'thank you .' lol. I was laughing so hard when I listened to this lady transfer herself into the car. holy god almighty. Hilarious.

what else happened. I can think of a lot of work stuff that was funny, but im too tired to write it right now. If anyone can think of a good excuse of how to break up with mark.. I still haven't done it. That's be great. Thanks. bye!

crap

Breaking up with people is much harder than I thought.. well.. this time it is. Every time I try to break up with him he does something cute and I just can't bring myself to do it. Like I went to his house this one time to study around 5, and after studying for like an hour and a half I was going to leave and go get food, but instead he made me dinner. I was impressed. Like some chicken thing that you actually have to make. That's a lot of work. If someone was at my house for dinner I'd be like.. ' mmm.... cereal? Toast? What tickles your fancy? We have peanut butter!! What's that? Oh I know I know, you were going to pick cereal until I told you we had peanut butter. Yes, it is delectable.'

Then this other time I went over there because I forgot my lab crap at his house. (big surprise.. I forgot something.) So I ended up spending an hour there because he was playing all these songs on his guitar. He even knew the song that they play on the wedding singer .. you know, the one he sings to her while she's on the plane. It was hilarious, and amazing.

Then the friday before I worked he wanted to hang out and I couldn't think of a reason not too... except that I needed to study before our test. ( I had to work over the weekend and knew I wouldn't get anything done..) So instead of doing something fun with his time, like go to the hockey game with his roomates, he drove to my house and picked me up so we could go to caribout for an hour and I could learn. We didnt' even talk. He read his genetics book and I studied chemistry. Then he brought me back at 10 cause I had to work at 7a the next day. I felt kind of like a jerk, but it was his choice to do that boring boringness. Oh, oh, and the best part is that he went to the bathroom in caribou and came out... and he had wet hands!! HE actually WASHED them! With real soap! I asked. Fan flippin tastic. Oh yeah, and he bought me coffee.
So now I don't know what to do. I'll just have to wait until he annoys me again. I am a jerk. ohhhh well.. I am going to go work out now and then finish working on my online work crap.

get ready for an awkward rest of the year!

I was talking to my doctor friend from brainerd today who implanted a very logical idea into my head. DO NOT date anyone that you have a class with. Seems simple enough. Why couldn't I just follow this simple rule? ppbbbbbb. Oh well. Maybe he doesn't like me either.... because i'm interrupting his videogame time. I'll just use that excuse. I think we should just be friends, i mean, I have a lot of work to do you know, with class.... and work, and my real job. And it looks like you hav ea whooollee lot of virtual people to kill. So .. get to it! bye!
As long as we're on the topic of videogames, I might as well bash them some more. Videogames are introduced to boys.. at what... age 7? 8? Or before? New rule for all moms- DO NOT let your kids play videogames. Not because of the violence or sedentary lifestyle, but for the simple fact that once they start.. they NEVER stop. never. Ever. And if you ever want your child to date someone, or succeed in life, just don't do it. It's like a cocaine addiction. You just have to do it more and more, and are never satisfied because there is always a 'better game' out there. Girls don't have this problem . You don't give girls a gift, such as a doll, when they are 7-8. We don't keep collecting millions of dolls and play with them all day long. We don't continue to buy more and more expensive dolls, and different outfits for the dolls...and nice houses and cars for the dolls. Then we dont' go buy new carpet for the doll's houses, and yard ornaments. We don't ignore our family and friends because we have to go home and play with our dolls, because 'ken was just going to ask barbie out and then you had to go to work. So now, you have to go back and finish.' Ridiculous. Lots of run on sentences.. sorry about that. I just get enraged and i cant' help it. It's like a flow of angry typing. awesome.

I am going to make a new list of things that a guy has to do if I can even think about dating him. That will take away a chance of me dating someone else stupid. Not that Mark is stupid.. oops. He's just an average guy. Boring, boring... and..... boring. I need to date someone really weird who is funny and likes exercising and is riciculously smart. I'd even date a liberal who had all those qualities... well... maybe not. Someone who was maybe undecided politically. There. I'll take that.

List

1. NOT CRAZY
2. Has never had a felony.
3. REally smart
4. Super interesting
5. hilarious
6. goes to the bathrom in public places, or the woods. In general, is just not ashamed of pooping, BEcause pooping is fun. One of the most relieving feelings is right before you poop.. that feeling that.... oooo yup, it's coming. a nice big poo. I will soon feel relief, and weigh aproximately 2 pounds lighter. YEEesssssssssss.
7. Hot. Hopefully in high school people nicknamed them, 'the hot.'
8. will do things outside with me and go exercise
9. will avidly make fun of other people
10. Drives a car/owns a car.
11. Has a job, and or, is working towards having a job. A real job. Not mcdonalds jobs. Although I would take that too.. discounts on ice cream cones? Holllllaaaa!!!!
12. Likes dogs
13. Washes their hands and showers at least every 3 days. (He shouldnt' be cleaner than me.. right? :) )
14. Eats tomatoes, and other vegetables. (Hey! guess who's calling right now. Guess who's not answering. ..! )
15.I should have made this like number one or two, but i'll just add it now cause i got distracted, they have to like God.

That's a long enough list. No one will ever fill all of these qualities. Ever. Maybe I'm better off being a lesbian. I'm already halfway there. Look at what car I drive! sweet. Except that 's gross. Okay. Back to learning now. Have a lovely day everyone.

I heart lattes with extra shots.

I have had a terrible headache all day. I realized why at noon when I hadn't had any caffeine yet. So I had 2 excedrins with caffeine. Did nothing. Then I had a diet coke. Did nothing. For a second I thought to myself, 'is this the worst headache of your life?' It wasn't, but whenever I get a headache I think of people having strokes. Or brain tumors. You know, anything that raises your ICP. Anyways, I just had a latte finally at 5:00. Best choice ever. Headache gone. Schweeeeet!! now I'm super hyper. Too hyper to do homework and too hyper to do anything. I really want to have a dance party but now that I live with other people, aka, my parents I can't do that because they'll judge my dancing skills. dag yo.

What do I want to write about.. hmmm... I know. Mark. i have been dating this one kid for like.. mm. i don't know. 2ish months ish. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a bitch and I find everyone's flaws and magnitude..ize them.. magnetize... magnify!!! that's the word. I magnify them. Maybe I don't magnify his though. He does a lot of ridiculous things. Maybe just plain stupid things. Or annoying things. Here are all the things that annoy me. By the way, I hope he never finds this blog. He would probably come into the house while I'm sleeping and kill me. So, instead of saying these things are directly bad about mark, I will say that these characteristics of a person, you know. ANY person, would be really annoying and or weird.

Thing #1 that is annoying. I don't think he tries very hard at life. Sometimes I try to give him credit and say he's trying, but I don't think he really is. He is one of those peopel that you want to just wring their necks because they are so smart that they don't have to try. So smart, that he won't study at all and because he didnt' study at all he will get a C because he didnt' spend an hour memorizing some facts. That annoys me. Why don't you use your brain to the fullest potential ? I use mine to the fullest potential and then I get a C. But at least my c is well deserved. (by the way, I have a B+ in organic right now... holllllaa back)


Thing #2 annoying: He readily admits to NOT washign hands after 'just peeing' in the bathroom.
ok... really... NOT a good thing to just admit that you don't do. Especially if you are dating a nurse. Then he tries to hold my hands and I get out my hands sanitizer and wipe it between ours. It's pretty romantic. Idiot.
this is his reasoning for NOT washing his hands. and I quote:
'there isn't a point to washing your hands, you don't touch anything.'

okay dumbass, here is a list of things you touch:
1. Your Wang. PRobably not the cleanest thing ever. It's like 3 inches from your butthole. NOT sanitary.

2. The door handle. If there are other idiots like you, which there are, they poop and don't wash their hands and then touch the door handle and get poop particles on the door handle. Then you open the door and get poop on your hands. Then you touch me and I kill you. And don't give me that crap about if people or you pooop and use the toilet paper you aren't actually touching the poop, the paper is. I don't even want to hear it. So gross.

3.) While you are peeing into the trough, some really small particles probably splash back and hit your hands and clothes. Disgusting. Wash your f'ing hands.

4.) Anything that you touch after not washing your hands, door handles, computer keyboards ( they are the grossest, especially after you touch them and you can feel a residue on you rhands.... ish...) Gets full of your urine pee dirtyness. So gross. I am so grossed out. Ish.

Number 3 annoying thing: We don't do anything except lay around. Granted we both work a lot, he claimes he 'doesn't have enough money to go do anything. ' Okay, we did 2 things. We went to amovie and he payed. Then the other week we went to dinner and I payed. That's it. But then he will go and buy a new videogame every week. Literally. EVERY week. Then he puts it on a credit card that he never fully payes off and it just keeps r ackign up interest payments for stupid killing videogames. I kind of want to wring his neck. Incase nobody has noticed there are only 3 types of videogames. Killing, CArs, sports. That really covers all the bases. I don't know why you can't just have 3-5 games of killing. You just walk around with your gun in different scenery in every game. ooOOOoo. you had better make sure you buy 500 different types of killing games because one might have a scene in a buddhist worship place where you can kill people, or inside a forest in vietnam. Or maybe in a submarine. Wow. So many different environments for killing. It's orgasmic. Or... REALLY DUMB.

Number 4 really annoying thing: He is worse at decision making than I am. Like when we went out to dinner I called him and asked him where he wanted to go. He was like. I don't care. Then I said I dont' care. Then after 5 minutes of this I was like, FIne, how bout applebees? THIS IS WHAT HE SAID, ' NO, I dont' like applebees.'
OKAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE A PLACE THEN YOU SHOULD PICK BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE THAT WE DON:T GO TO APPLEBEES. WHEREAS I REALLY DON'T CARE.

Then we went through the 'i don't care where we go thing... ' again. Then after 5 minutes I said,' ' How about a mexican place. Want to go to mexican village?'
this is what he said,' Gross, no, I hate mexican food.'

OKAY ASSHOLE. YOU FLIPPING CARE WHERE WE EAT, SO YOU SHOULD JUST SAY WHERE YOU WANT TO GO AND EAT.

Then once AGAIN we went through the whole ' i don't care thing.' I was getting pretty angry at this point and said. Okay, you're the one who has all these food aversions... like you don't like mexican food, or fish, or tomatoes.... so why don't you JUST PICK WHERE WE GO. By the way, who the hell doesn't like tomatoes? He better get his head on straight, because tomatoes are f'ing delicious. Idiot. Finally i just said, Okay I know you eat 3 things. Bacon, Hamburger and bread./potatoes. So why don't we just go to a pl ace where you can get a burger, that isn't applebees. He still wouldn't say a place. MOTHER Of god. pick a damned place. Sorry god.

UGGGggghhhhghghghhghg. I am irate. These are probably small things to be angry about compared to jesse. Like , i'm not mad at mark for stealing 3,000 dollars from my checking account and using it for online gambling. That is a big problem. These are small problems... but can I really continue to date someone who doesn't wash their hands ???? I don't think so. But I don't know what to do because we will have class togethor... every day. Whatever. hopefully we'll just turn into friends and these things might not annoy me as much. mmm.. that was wishful thinking. They will. OH MY GOSH.. I FORGOT ONE.


HE will Not go poop in a public restroom. Like when we were eating dinner he had to poo and wouldn't go in the restaurant, so we left early so he could go home and poo. ... DUMB. REALLY DUMB. So angry right now. So angry.

Ahh. That felt good to get that out. Otherwise he's pretty nice. Well, I am going to go back and work on o chem now. WeeeEEEEEeee!!!! okay bye!

weeeEEEE!!!

So life is pretty dumb right now. I basically am either at the hospital, sleeping, or learning chem. Work is almost worse than chem. We have all these tests we have to take on topics like, cardiovascular, pulmonary, hemodynamics, etc.. I took a couple and have been passing them okay- we have to get 85% to pass them. The questions are mostly pretty much ridiculous. One example question would be:



What blood pressure would cause encephalopathy?



a 250/150

b.230/135

c. 215/110



etc. Stupid question. Um... the answer is, it depends. All of the tests just remind me of nursing school all over again. Well, med surgical nursing. The question would be:



A 57 year old man came into the ER, complaining of chest pain and left arm weakness. Coincidently, he was having a stroke and a heart attack at the same time. Oh yeah, and he is also bleeding profusely from a laceration in his stomach. You are the only nurse in the world right now. What would you do first?



a.) get vitals

b.) stop the bleeding

c.) Place 2L 02 via nasal cannula

d.) murder whoever wrote this damned test



Then, you think in your mind, if I were the dumbest person on earth, what woudl I do first? Place the 02. Ding ding ding!! correct!!! Love it. Needless to say, I got 84% on my cardiovascular test and had to re-take it. One of the questions I got wrong was, Which person would be unable to undergo a CABG?

a.) A 55 year old with a 50% blockage of the LAD.
b.) A 70 year old with a 65% blockage of the RCA.
c.) A 91 year old with cardiac cell death
d.) A 75 year old with 90% blockage of the LAD.

I picked the one with cell death, because .. you know.. the heart is dead. You wouldn't want a bypass done if your heart isnt' going to pump because it's dead. The answer was b. Maybe that was a test mistake.....


Whatever. I eventually passed it and I'm on to pulmonary. AWesome. Sweet. Love not being on that topic anymore.

Gosh, I love petting my dog. She is so soft. It's like a minxy marshmallowy softness. mmm. amazing. I wish my bedsheets were made out of her, but that would be creepy I guess. My sister is going to be mad at me for writing this, but she should have stuffed Gabi's carcass into a scared peeing position with wide eyes and left it in the kitchen.

On a really different note again, I work with a really weird girl. I thought she was normal, until she told me this story when we worked our night shifts togethor. I guess it's not that weird, but I thought it was. No, it is weird. I'm just tired and underestimating the real weirdness potential.

She told me she met this guy that used to know her ex boyfriend. She has known him for 6 days and now he is moving in with her. In those 6 days there was no break. He was at her house constantly. Apparently she has, 'never met anyone like him and they get along really well. He thinks she's ' a catch.' But he's leaving for Iraq in February possibly. But you know, maybe they'll be engaged by then.
Right.

isntead of saying, 'congratulations! Glad you met someone nice!' I was a 'glass half empty' commenter and said, ' Are you sure he doesn't have anti-social personality disorder and is just using you and going to steal all your money and kill your dog and try to live off of you for as long as possible, and you'll do nice things for him like not make him pay rent because he 'plans on moving out soon' and is just staying until he finds a place.' and then you'll use up all your food making him cheese sandwiches and toast...and he might be lying about the army because it makes him look better and maybe your ex boyfriend didnt' want to give you his number because he's a giant dick head?...And maybe he's been staying at your house and complimenting you because he has nowhere else to go? I mean, not that you arent' a catch... you are... I would date you... '
She just looked at me like... what the hell? But I bet he is. I guess she'll just have to learn the hard way. Maybe I'm over analyzing. But I bet not. She'll see. She'll see. Maybe I just lost all trust in mankind. And I do mean man kind, not so much woman kind. I'll go on a date with someone and they'll try to hold my hand and I'll be like, 'back off bitch!! are you sure you dont' have psoriasis? Yeah.. that's what I thought. Hands to yourself.'

This blog is boring. I can only think of things to write when I have spare time to let my mind wander, which I haven't had much time to do. I do think about things I dislike doing. Like I actually like organic chemistry more than going to work I think. I hope I like being a doctor better than nursing. Not that I hate nursing, but it's so much random dumb things to remember. Actually taking care of the patient is nice but I have to remember that every 30 minutes I have to do these 4 tasks, which are different than the tasks I have to do 30 minutues later. It's like you just base your practice off what you won't get in trouble for. You have to chart on these 5 million things or you will get in trouble with lawyers. Dumb. Why do lawyers breathe so hard down our backs and not every other profession? I'm sure construction workers or business owners are like, oh yeah, I have to do this every 20 minutes and write it down or I'll get my license taken away. I think it would be different for a doctor because you just write one big note for each person you see. Not a note every half an hour for 12 hours. Maybe that's not all I think of though. I see all these really sick people that should just be dead. Like this one guy I cardioverted... it was his 11th time being cardioverted and he was a DNR. He had a gazillion problems, was on a vent, all of his skin was breaking down, every time you touched him he would squirm in pain, he had a liver drianage bag, a piss bag, and a couple poo bags, and a couple healing incisions.. which weren't healing. His groin was like a maceration. He could never get out of bed again. REally... what is the point of this? Why are we doingall of this?. I think by now his quality of life was so shitty we should have just let him go. Ridiculous. That's the other reason I dislike the medical profession. I am doing all of this pointless tasky work when someone's life is the shits anyways. I feel like my work is pointless. Which, maybe isn't the case sometimes, but a lot of the times it is. Maybe I wasn't made for the ICU. It's fun to know all of the information and understand it, but when you apply it it is for no reason because you are just prolonging someone's circling of the drain. I should probably just change my point of view to glass half full and become a compassionate mcgee. But it won't happen. Unless I have a TBI and my personality changes. We can only hope. Ass.

i am not good at organizing life

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mrrrraaw

I am tired. So tired. My eyes are burning out of my face. I try to study or read something and it's like all I'm doing is reading it. There is no cognition. Maybe I should just to bed now and wake up at 4 am and study. Today is long. Every day will be long until november... oh ... 15th or so. this is my schedule monday -friday until then



monday: wake up 5:50am

walk to hospital 6:50 am

try to make up some of the time that I will be missing during the time I leave for class.



1:30 leave hospital on bike to make it to class ontime

2-3 class

3:30 get back to hospital.

330-5:30/6 Orientation stuff with the education lady.

(whom I feel sorry for. I'm sure she's on salary and isn't getting paid extra for all this extra time she has to spend with me. I take stuff home, but some stuff I can't. like the Iv poles with stuff...)

6:30 get home. Eat dinner.

7pm-try to gather thoughts. Remember when you sat in the same chair in that orientation room without windows and only getting up to pee and then eat lunch? Remember how your brain is fried when you go to class, and paying attention is 5 million times harder? Remember how you didnt' understand anythign in class but you don't have much time to study if because when you get done with class you will have to go back to work, and then when you leave work you will have more hours of modules to do at home that will take 2-3 hours.



Oh devil. ooohhhh devil. I don't know what we are doing in chemistry now. Somethign about acids and bronstead thingies. I don't know if I spelled that right. But I am really nervous abotu missing class tomorrow. However, this other kid in my lab class... he's nice .. and nerdy. Helps me study. He told me he would take good notes and pay extra attention the days that I can't make it. Apparently his dad is a teacher... so maybe he'll be a good person to study with. So far so good. We got through the assignment and 2 pages of the lab manual.
This is a straight up boring blog. Really boring. I also think think that maybe I just dont' like the whole medical profession. I keep thinking of everything we do that is pointless... and how there are so many protocols for everything. Like, just incase you weren't sure. you could probably look up the protocol for 'how to take a shit.' at the st cloud hospital, and they would have one. Thousands upon thousands of protocols. Maybe I just have a bad attitude. (ding ding ding!!!)
But my bad attitude reveals the truth about the situation. Like today we talked about how to waste all the different drugs and where to put the empty vials or bags etc. Three of the stupid things I learned:

If you have a bag of Morphine, you dump the morphine down the drain, and you can throw away the bag.
However, if the morphine is in a vial, you have to dump the morphine down the drain (witnessed in both cases of course) but then you have to ziplock baggie the morphine vials and put it in the pharmaceutical waste bin.

Makes a lot of sense. IT also makes sense that we pour the morphine down the drain first. If it's pharmaceutical waste... wouldnt' you leave the morphine in the vial and then baggie it and put it in the bin? You do that will all the other meds, like you can't pour insulin or dopamine down the drain.... so why can we dump all our narcotics down the drain? Makes no sense.
Then there is charting about everything. Anything and everything. It's like the nurses just get pooped on. Especially in the ICU. You have to do everything. The doctors have their couple jobs.. see the patient, write orders. The pharmacy bring the drugs. The nurses do EVERYTHING ELSE. (and I mean everything) Like in brainerd if one of the meds werent' correct on the record, the pharmacy would just put a note on it like circle it in red, and write, 'incorrect dosage.' They wouldnt' actually call the doctor themselves. They just circle it and then make you do the actual work. Then nurses have to worry about which tubing and needles to use, and in the new 'needle-less system' which things poke holes in which vials which you can only use certain syringes for. you have to know how to program all the pumps, deal with the family for 12 hours at a time, chart everything that you do.. in 19 different places, get blood sugars, (in the ICU) every 15 minutes, check the md orders online every 30 minutes because physicians can write them from home.. or the office, order all the needed labs, check all the labs, notify the appropriate people for these if they are off, start all the protocols for different things dependign on what your patient is dying of, know how to use the vent, the bed, the tube systems, the med dispensers, give meds like every 20 minutes, bring people to their MRI's.... it never ends. I want to just come to work and use my brain as to what is going on with them, write what I want to do with them, and not have to do all the extra crap. I don't care if I know how to use an IV pump, or do other various tasks. You have to be very organized to be a nurse. I don't know how I do it, because Im not organized at all. People have these neat little pieces of paper they use with graphs and columns labeled with the correct things, like intake/output, vitals etc...
I usually just scatter anything I need to know anywhere on a corner of a sheet of paper or a post it note, which I usually lose halfway through the shift. Which in brainerd, I usually didnt' even need this sheet if I worked in ICU, because I could print out all the vitals from the computer. Which will be in st cloud ICU as well. (good to go)

Lately, intsead of thinking about the actual patient I will be using this tubing on and what they are going through, I am thinking of all of the plastic and meds I am wasting. It kind of makes me sick. Like this person just produced 40 pounds of garbage and waste, adn they aren't even conscious. They really should be dead. They're 92 and in a coma... on a vent.. wasting our medicare dollars. (huge surprise there... probably 70 percent of medicare dollars are wasted dollars) I obviously have no compassion. But really, if you think about it, there is a time and place to die. Dragging out someone's death when they will be brain-dead when you take them off the vent .. I don't see the purpose of the10,000 a day fee of staying in the ICU. Instead you could be buried in like .... a golden casket. Or have somebody make you a sweet diamond grill. (the kind for your mouth)
I guess if you dotn' give a rats ass about the earth you wouldnt' mind being a nurse. When she was talking about where you throw all the crap in orientation I asked if there was a recycling bin. I was actually kind of serious, but everybody thought it was super funny.

Wow, I just re-read that last paragraph. I am a huge jerk. I will have to make sure when I am dying, I have a hilarious advanced directive.
Such as:

If I stop breathing, make sure you keep me on a vent. Forever. Until my heart stops on it's own. I would like all the drips possible to keep my heart going. Whatever it takes. During this period, I would like to have MCHammer playing in the background. Also possibly some backstreet boys. I'll just give you my I tunes library and you can hit the 'shuffle' button. I would also like to be smothered in lotion every 4 hours. Make sure to lube in any areas of friction. Please high-five me QD. I would also like to go horsebackriding. Hopefully by this time vents will be smaller and more portable. I realize if I'm unconscious this will be difficult, but you will have to duct tape me to the horse. (Please prevent any skin breakdown though... I dont' want a rash .. that shit's ugly..) I would also like to watch indiana jones. If my eyelids wont' stay open you'll have to hold them open. .. but blink me at least 3 times a minute. During my long stay at your hospital or long term care facility of vented patients, I would like to have a big pile of puppies come visit me at least once a month. Just throw them on my bed and let them crawl around. I would also like for you to pour chocolate into my mouth. Maybe just swab it in so I don't aspirate. If for some reason, my heat starts giving out, make sure you put me on a emergent transplant list. Thanks.
Sincerely, Annie wyman

everybody is a big pile of poop with mold

Hello.

So I was supposed to study with T-man the other night right? right. WRONG. He called on sunday and said he works till 9 and probably won't make it to the library until after that. I was already at the library learning stuff when he called to say that. I basically live on campus and the hospital and am only home for a few hours to sleep.. or shower. (Not a lot of either of those happening...) Anywho, at 10 pm I was at the library and Tim still hadn't called so I just went home. He never did call back. Good bye Tim. You are no longer on the crush list.
Except for then I went back to class today and he actually had a valid excuse. Kind of valid. He's probably lying. Everyone from now on is probably lying unless proven otherwise. Opposite of our current judicial system. He said in class that somebody stepped on his phone and broke it. I immediately thought he was lying but he looked really embarrassed and even pulled my chair out for me when I got there. ... so he might be telling the truth. It was kind of funny. I walked in (the last one in because I had to bike superfast from orientation to get there... ) I just looked at him, smiled, and he smiled back and pulled my chair out to sit. Then I was just getting my stuff out and I didn't say anything. I could have said,' SO, You're an asshole eh? But I didn't. He just kind of said,.... so.... I was going to call you to study.. and sombody stepped on my phone and broke it..... I was going to say, what phone breaks when you step on it? Surely you don't have a sprint sanyo, because those things are the shit. I have one. My dog even chewed it up and it still works. Every time I drop it I just pop the battery back in and we're good to go. But I didnt' say that either. Sometimes, when you're me for example, saying things is a bad idea. That's why being a nurse in the ICU is so nice. Most of my patients are delirious or unconscious. I don't have to talk to them, well I can, but it doesn't matter what I say at all. I could be like, wow, you sure have got a lot of loose skin terry! And his response is. ____________. Mouth open. Eyes closed. Druely. aka, sweet.
Then when they become concsious or healthy I send them away to someone else. I just roll their bodies around and give them meds. Hollllaaaa. Back to the current story. I was going to bash his face in, but his face looked all distraught and red and like he was about to cry. Maybe it was allergies. I should have just handed him and allegra and been like, suck it up baby. You missed out on a world of knowlegde. My knowledge. That you will never have... unless of course you re-schedule a study time. ... but maybe I won't show up. Maybe someone will steal all my shoes and then I can't leave the house. Maybe I'll just be really hungry and .. not able to make it. Maybe I have a wide set vagina and a heavy flow and I just can't make it.
This is way off the topic, but I'm in the library right now, and there is this chineese kid sitting across from me, but on a different table. And every time I look up, he looks up. But he doesn't look at me, he looks off into the distance with no expression. Super serious face. It makes me want to laugh when he does it, or wave my hand in his line of vision like what the devil are you staring at. I bet he teaches karate and sword..ing. I bet I'm racist.

AFter Tim didnt' show up, I was thinking off all of these funny ideas I had in my head. Like weird pick up lines I could say to him... or anybody who is ridiculously good looking.


I could wrap up a big box and give it to him, and when he opens it there would be a fire extinguisher inside and I'd be like, ' here, put yourself out. HOttie...'

Or I could just stand up and start doing the fire dance around him . For those who dont' know the fire dance it's basically squatting and warming your hands around in a circle. Even I can do it.

Oh my GOD!@!! China just smiled!!!!!!! He is on the phone. I can't hear him . Of course I can't hear him. that wouldnt' make sense. He is about as personable as a wall, a wall that reacts to phone calls, and moves his mouth but is still silent. Nobody probably thinks this is funny. I guess you have to be here. Oh, oh, that was it. It's back to stern stoic face stare into space pondering mcgee. Well. I'm going to go home now. I might just get some ice cream on the way. that would be fan-tastic. Bop.

his name is Tim!

His name is Tim.

I didn't get to sit by him yesterday because a girl I knew from marching band sat by me. Which was cool too, because it was fun to talk to her about when we twirled flags. I am a nerd.
Then we took our quiz, which I surprisingly understood and was the second person to finish. But then I wanted to borrow the teachers book ( he has the most recent textbook and gives up practice questions...) So I was waiting outside the room for the class to get done so I could go up to his office with him. While I was waiting in the hallway, cute face walked out. It's like I can't look at his face and talk at the same time. It's too distracting. So when he asks me questions I'm like. hubbbllhhaaa juuhahnaaa. That must be asian and spanish mixed togethor. Maybe some arab. (arabian?) This was the conversation: (it was a long one!... as in like at least 40 seconds)

Him: How was that for ya?
me: (thumbs up) I think it went okay, but I kind of panic and do everything really fast, so I guess we'll see.
him: Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you do your homework already?
me: nope. Do you still want to to it togethor?
him: that would be great. What time works for you?
me: ummm....... ... . ? Sunday?
him: okay. Where shoudl we go? The library?
me: sure. Would you rather do it a different day? Is Sunday okay? (Thank god he said a building that I know where it is... I know 3 buildings on campus. library, admission, science building)
him: No, no, Sunday is great. Except I don't even know your name. What's your name?
me: oh yeah, sorry! Annie. (this is where the awkward part was I was really distraught that we were actually going to study togethor and my brain was melting out of my face... and I said,)
What are you?
(then I looked away and said) WHat are you? Did I really just say that?
Him: (laughing) Tim. Nice to meet you. (then we shook hands.. but it was more like a limp embarrased shake on my part because at this point in time I must have been looking at his face, and as I have mentioned before, I cannot do two important things at one time. Like look at a face and talk.)

Then he put my number in his cell phone to call later about when /where we would go, etc...
Then he said to havea good weekend. Then I shit my pants and threw up in the hallway when he left. Not really, but I could have. I probably will now re-thinking the moment in my head. That's all . Bye!

On october 14th, he asked me what day it was....

Today is my official last day of Just school. I start work and school on monday. pooper pants. I have a quiz today in my class as well. We also got this like 6 page assignment yesterday. I'm not used to this kind of school.. where you actually have to think. I'm used to nursing school, where everyone just asks stupid questions and makes comments about things that matter about as much as, shit, i don't know, a banana peel. So what I did in those classes were make extremely detailed schedules about what I should do when I get out of the class. I mean extremely detailed as in by the second/minute. Like, Class gets out 3:50. 3:50:30 pick up backpack and leave class. 3:51:00 walk out door. 3:52:15 walk in the direction of car....


( think you get the point..) I'm not used to coming to class and not being bored out of my mind. I didn't even buy half the books for my nursing career. You just didn't need them. I think I took like 7 different classes on, 'how to talk to people.' What's funny is that most of the kids thought those classes were really hard. Everyone in nursing is super anal and would argue their answers to the death. For example, this is what they would arguein a question:

1.) Mr jones has just died, his wife is crying at the side of the bed. What would you say to her?
(there was usually a funny answer so I would randomly laugh when we took tests.... nobody else must have thought these were funny....)

a.) Did he leave you the house?
b.) I'm so sorry for your loss.
c.) I know EXactly how you feel.

The answer would be b. because you never say you know how they feel. I didnt' buy the book but the teacher said that every 4 seconds in the class. So even when I was doodling and not paying attention, I'd get the right answer. At least 15 questions on each test would have the choice of 'I know how you feel.' And you dont' choose those answers. It's a pretty simple concept. Don't pick the joke answers, and don't pick I know how you feel. Automatic A in the class. However, say there were 130 questions on the test. The people in my class would argue at least half of these. Even if their answer was out of the question. It was like, maybe if I complain enough and try to convince her that my ridiculous answer is the right one, or that part of the question was worded in a weird way, I'll get my one point back. There were so many times I just wanted to stand up and say, ' suck it up bitches, lets move on.' She probably would have docked a point from my test then,,.. and you know, i'd have to argue it.
There were a few hard classes, the more fun classes like fluids and electrolyte balancing... but everyone didnt' get it. So we'd go at snails pace and she'd spend 2 weeks talking about the same concept. So even the hard classes got dummed down. Then I'd get bored with what we were doing in that class as well. So in summary, it's nice to have a class where I dont' get bored because we go at a normal pace and he assumes we aren't all idiots. People don't argue their questions, they just get them wrong and accept it. IT's pretty much amazing. What else is amazing is there is a really cute boy in my class that I just happen to sit next to. Except he's normal, so he probably won't like me back, however the first week of class I couldn't 'remember' how to find out how many valence electrons were in things. So I asked him. Then he said, 'umm... yeah.. I think I remember that. hold on.' Then he was searcing through his notes. Like 2 minutes later he said, ' Okay, I remember now, you do it like this,' And then he showed me how to do it. In 2 different examples. (hollllaaa)
Then the next day I dropped myp en on the floor.... and he picked it up for me. Then I said thanks. He was like,' It's no problem.'

Then the next day I asked him how to do something else and he was pointing at something in my notes and he touched my arm. Then I moved my arm and said, 'sorry' and he said, 'it's okay.'

Then the next day he asked me if I understood the shapes of the molecules and I said,' do you know who you're talking to?' then we both laughed.

then the next day, (yesterday) we got out assignments that were super long. He asked,' Did you do good on the last assignment? you seem to know what you're doing.' and I said, ' I don't know.. we didnt' get them back yet..' Then I said, 'Do you want to work on this one togethor?' And he said,' yeah, that'd be great.'
Yay!!!!!!!! I have a new friend!!!!!! ( a new hot friend) I'll have to ask today when he wants to do the assignment.
All of this reminds me on the stuff from mean girls, (if anyone has ever seen that movie.) I hope he invites me to his halloween party. I don't know any of the 'plastics' so they can't sabotage my plan. schweeeeet. That's all for now. Gonna go learn stuff.

really?

So we all remember weird face McGee, 'meet me at Kohls in your snow gear.' Right. He's back. Again. Wouldn't you think after that awkward experience, you would just give up and say, maybe she doesn't want to date me... or maybe I shouldn't be so creepy. Nope. His head is an empty room. No wheels turning. The light's out. Knock on his door, but nobody's home. How many more analogies should I use? In summary, he is not smart. If you cannot write a full sentence using correct grammar and spelling... please don't ask to date me. If you have your sister in law call me 50 times ..... please don't ask to date me. I don't care if you're a nice idiot. You're an idiot. A creepy idiot.
I am bringing this all back because I signed on to myspace the other day. I shouldn't have. I never will again. Ever. There was a comment on my wall -from 'jason' the creeper with the stuffed chickens, that said this, 'So, are you moved back to st cloud yet? I think we should go meet up for drinks.' Or something to that extent.

um..... No. I just quick signed off when I saw that. I didn't even respond. I don't know if I should acknowledge that he wrote that, or just pretend like it never happened. Should I sign back on and be like,' ' um.... i would meet you for drinks, except I am really seriously dating someone else seriously. For serious. ' or I could just write something ridiculous on his wall that had nothing to do with anything, like, 'mer-man... mer MAN!!!'
That would be pretty funny. Or I could write back, 'only if we meet at wal-mart in halloween costumes.'
It is truly a physical impossibility that a NORMal... human person could be attracted to me. It's impossible.

That's I guess all for now.

true talents

so my life has been pretty.. mmmm.. Not fun the last few weeks. Moving... moving.. putting away.... chemistry... moving... putting things away very anal retentively thanks to my mother... For example. I bought a chocolate bar... one of those ridiculously good dark chocolate ones that are like 4 dollars and have raspberries and stuff in them. Anyways, I put the thing in the cupboard unopened. The next day my mom came in the living room and yelled at me for putting it away ' incorrectly,' because you see, even though it hadn't been opened yet it needs to be inside a plastic ziplock bag. I dont know why. you can ask her if you want.

What else happened. My mom asked me to go to Penney's for her. She had bought this dress. ( a denim dress... god only knows why.) Anyways, they had forgotten to take the ink tag off. So she called and they said to just bring it in, even though she didn't have the receipt with. They looked up her credit card number or something to prove she bought it, i don' tknow. Anyways, I went in to the young mens department, where I was supposed to ask for april to take the ink tag off. April is the manager. (still... I worked there like 7 years ago..) Anyways, I was at the stupid counter for 20 minutes because they were like. 'what proof do you have that this came from here? What are we supposed to do?'
I just blatently said. ' Seriously, this is a denim dress... a DENIM dress...maybe it's a jumper.. i don't know. Do I look like i would wear a denim dress? Do I look like I would want to steal this denim dress from the clearance rack? I didnt' think so. My mom bought it and got home and the ink tag is still on. She talked to april who said to bring it in and get the ink tag off. ... ..'
finally someone talked to april and april said that my mom had called and to take the tag off.
Unbelievable. The funniest part was that they could actually think that I was sneakily trying to steal the denim jumper. I try to hide my true love for denim jumpers, every time I pass them I have to hold myself back. Most stores know my face by now and have someone follow me around just so I won't steal the denim jumpers and or dresses.

So when I got back from jcpenney's I decided to watch some trash Tv for a little while. I forgot what show I had been watching, some family lifetime movie and the girl made some comment like, 'we a ll have our own talents that god gave us, and we need to share them with everyone.'

Then I started to think. What the hell is my true talent? It sure as hell isn't being compassionate and or organic chemistry. Which means my life is really sucky right now. Because I am a nurse and in organic chemistry. So what if I try to do things my whole life that aren't my true talents? Am I wasting my life? Are you wasting your life? Like how my sister says she would have made a really good HUC/ aka ward clerk, aka, secretary type person for the nurses/doctors. Is she wasting her true talent by being a doctor? I don't think so. But if that is her true talent does that mean she is wasting her true talent by being a doctor?
Then I started thinking, why should I force myself to have a talent that I suck at? Such as organic chemistry. BUt, if I don't take organic chem I will be a nurse forever... and that will be really crappy. Nursing is not my true talent. It's one of those things you are kind of good at and just do because it's easy. Like how some people think math is really easy and are good at it, but they don't like it. Is God going to be mad at me because I'm just doing something random instead of the actual talent that he gave me? (whatever the hell that is....) So, Then I started making a list of things I like to do, and or could have a talent at. That way I won't be wasting my life and my purpose of sharing my talent. Here are some lists of things I am good at:

typing
holding puppies
drinking diet soda
giving high fives
being dirty
knowing the exact amount of calories and serving size of most foods
breaking things/accident prone
being unorganized
being not on time ever
b.s -ing papers/talking/explanations.
and last but not least, attracting weird disgusting foreign nigerian /jamaican men. Probably my only true talent.


Things I like to do: Exercise, any outside activity, thinking about random things, playing piano, writing blogs to make fun of things and people.

Ultimately, everyone should make a list like this for themselves, and then combine the things from the lists to make a job they enjoy, while using their particular talents. So, my jobs could be:

Go outside and break things. I would be REAlly good at that job. I could attract a weird jamaican man and then BS to him that I love him back and then blog about it later. Or I could make appointments to give people high fives, then I could run or bike to meet then, but then I would probably be late/get injured somehow, and miss the high five. damn.

So you see, these are the things I think about instead of organic chemistry. Today a couple of organically chemical things happened. I put a tupperware in the microwave. I was making brownies and there was some dark chocolate in a little tupperware and I decided I would warm it up a little so I coudl more easily dump it on. I put it in for 25 seconds. That was a poor choice. On the 18th second it suddenly exploded. Like actual flames, and a whole lot of smoke and burning smell. My hair actually smells a lot like it when i waft it in front of my face. It's like I went to a campfire where we burned plastic to a smoldering crisp. I wonder what compound I made in that microwave. Sweet.

oh yeah, and while I was at the mall returning a denim jumper, the dog ate a whole cake I had made the day before. Tisk tisk sofenheimer.

I have an organic chemistry lab tomorrow. = Death. We are supposed to get prepared for the lab so we know what we're doing. There are all these terms for devices.... I don't know what the device look like, or how they work, or what it's name is. It's basically like throwing you in a different country and telling you to make something that will take 3 or 4 hours that will take at least 50 different steps. Oh yes, and you also have no idea how to use anything you have .. or what its' called. (basically, like a different language.) REady... MAke some aspirin!!!
I'm pretty tempted to just go buy some aspirin and crush up a little bit and put in in a baggy to bring to lab so when I F it all up I can just pull out my little baggy and be like.. . voila!!! Aspirin!!! Then I will weigh it to approximately the same weight as other people's yields. Hollllaaa.. Except with my luck I'll probably get pulled over and the cop will be like, what's that crushed up white substance in the baggy? Aspirin? Right..
These are the lab instructions in my language
Take one gram of salicylic acid and stir it with your 2.5 mls of acetic anhydride in a mcdoodle bob, using a dippley moodle. Stir for 15 minutes over a flippy mcflapper with the thingy. Then do the vaccum procedure. (I don't know what the vaccum procedure is... so I looked it up)

These are the instructions: (i pretty much started laughing)

Clamp your filatration flask to a ring stand. Connect the filtration flask with a piece of thick tubing to the water trap. Place the filter adapter on the filtration flask. Set the hirsch funnel on teh filter adapter. Turn on the aspirator water faucet. Open the water valve completely to create the best vacuum. Pout your organic solution into the hirsch funnel. Do not overflow the filtration flask. IF you need to empty the filtration flask, go to step 7, 'emptry the filtrate.' and restart.

I will never overflow the filtration flask because I will never be able to start over. Ever.

Tomorrow should be fun.


Shit.

last day!!

I have just completed my last day of work at the brainerd medical center. Schweeet!!!

Except it was also kind of sad. I'm going to miss all of the people there. One lady who had viral meningitis even came to work today to say goodbye to me. amazing. I gave her a high five. (Then I washed my hands. ) They set up a little party for me at this coffee/pizza/bagel place on wednesday .. where I ate pizza. And drank coffee. hollllaaaa. I will miss them.. .well.. most of them . Except this one creepy ass disgusting doctor. On this last sunday he came into my patient's room. I had an alcohol withdrawal pt. (weird...) So I'm trying to help this guy eat dinner and the doctor keeps talking to me. This doctor will remain nameless. We had what I thought was a normal conversation.. then he gave me his card with his office number and he wrote his cell phone on it and such and said if I ever needed a reference he would be glad to do it. I just thought he was being nice. That is because I am a nieve idiot. At 10pm, I went over to Tele to help with this one lady who needed to get transferred to the ICU and had sepsis etc. At 1015/10:30ish I'm in her room putting some IV's in her when Kassandra pages me from the desk and says. ( we have little speakers in each room so you can talk back and forth from the desk..) Anyways, Kass pagesme and says, ' Annie did you page Dr. ___ ? ' I said... no.... wasn't he off at 8? Kass: Yes... but he's on the phone for you out here. Me: Great. ..... .

That's when I got the weird horrible nausea heavy feeling in my stomach. So I tell this lady who is vomiting all over the place to just hold on a sec and I'll be right back. Little did she know when I said right back I apparently meant 20 minutes.. because I could not get off the damn phone. Pretty sure the phone conversation went something like this:

Hello Annie! How are you?

-um. Fine. You know, just at work. WORKING.

-How long are you there until?

-you know.. the usual... 11:30. The usual 3-11 shift...

So what day are you done again?

thursday

Tuesday?

THURSDAY.

This thursday?

yes.

Then what are you doing? Are you going on vacation for a week?

No. I'm babysitting my sister's kids.

Is this your sister in residency?

yes.

How old are her kids?

baby and 2.

(At this point all my co -workers are looking at me like... Wtf? What is going on? Being you know. this doctor calls me... AT work, and is having a conversation that has nothing to do with anything medical or anyp atients.. and he is off of work. Could this get more awkward? Yes. Because this doctor is 40 something I believe. And from a different country so the whole time, basically every other sentence I'm like.. ' what? what did you say?' So that makes the conversation drag out even longer. Pretty sure I was so angry and confused my whole face was burning and all I wanted to do was go and cry in the bathroom. What crazy asshole (who may be married.. I don't know.. nor do I care..) Calls someone half their age at work to ask them .. well. I'll finish the conversation.

Oh okay. That will be an interesting time.

Yes. Well, I should go back to...

So you are going to her house to babysit?

YES.

So you are going back to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES.

What other plans do you have? Are you dating someone?

(I should have said yes but I was so embarrassed by this point in time that I was seriously still on the phone I just wanted to puke all over the place so I could be excused from the conversation)

No.

So you are going to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES ('m pretty sure we already got this straightened out...)

And maybe someday you will get married.

Yes. Maybe someday. But I doubt it.

(he laughs. Yes. It's hilarious. goodbye. I hope you fall in a hole and can't get out.)

You will get married, and then have babies.

... yup..... well.. I gotta get back to my patient now..

So you have my number.

YEs. (holy shit yes, that I will never use and I'll probably burn it when I get home so I can forget you exist.)

(this is when the conversation got the most awkward.. because we each repeated the same thing .... 3 or 4 times in a row.

..

Dr asshole shit head: How will I reach you though?

-Yeah, well, I'll let you know how everything goes...

But I dont' have your number? How will I reach you?

-I'll let you know how everything goes with school and such...

How will I get a hold of you? I need your number. How will we ever meet up if I dont' have your number?

- I'LL CALL YOU. . AND LET YOU KNOW HOW I'M DOING.. . O K...

Okay annie you call me. you have a good night.

Yup. you too... bye.

okay, goodbye now.

BYE.

Make sure to call me, because I don't have your number.

HOly F-ing shit.. I think We all know you don't have that... and that the lord for small favors such as this.

( i didnt' want to make it really obvious to everyone else that this doctor was asking me for my phone number and or on a date... so I just kept trying to end the conversation... I failed. )

So that was awkward. I was really distraught after that. Looking back I guess it wasn't that big of a deal but I had to go to the bathroom for a while and cry and straighten myself out before returning to work. The whole time I thought he just thought I was a good nurse and was offering me a recommendation, when really, all he wanted was a piece of ass. Piece of shit. I'll kill him,... with a thousand arrows of poison death. What's up now? mm?

Other random funny things that happened...

I found out where I get my judgemental personality. My mother. We were watching this show on TV where this kid had a bunch of ginormous tumors in his face. Like his face didnt' even look real. It looked like a plastic cartoon face. I wish I coudl draw pictures on this blog. I just attatched the image.. somehow it's at the top of the page.. and its' really small. I drew it myself on paint about 15 seconds ago. Pretty accurate i would say. It is a picture of giant tumor face compared to someone else. It was kind of funny that they had this special on him. They made it seem like these tumors were going to kill him, and that he was already blind in one eye from the pressure of the tumor, and now he may go blind in his other eye. Also, that his airway was being conpromised from his chin tumor. I just kind of thought to myself.... why didnt' they take care of these tumors when his face was only twice the size it should be.. instead of 5 times the normal size. (to each his own I guess...) Anyways, My mom started watching this with me about 3/4 of the way through. Of course, this is all in chinese, and there are english translations of what they are saying written on the tv. I can't remember what that's called.. that 's why I had the long explanation. mraw. When they did talk english it was like... horrible chinese accent trying to talk english with very bad grammar. hilarious. They would say a sentence in 'english' and my mom would yell back at the TV. . ' There's no S in later!!!!' 'It's so sad, they are such smart people and they can't talk.' Hilarious. She kept doing this. She would correct the bad chinese accent. She would yell the correct way to say it back to the TV, and emphasize the pronunciation/enunciation. 'it's FRAG-MENt. FRAGMENT!!!!' I couldn't stop laughing. She didn't understand why. It's still funny when I think about it. Amazing. She didnt' think it was funny though. (weird.)

More examples of her being herself is when she sees someone walking down the street. They will be within hearing distance and she will loudly proclaim. ' ANNIe. Annie, look at that man over there. Do you see his gait? He has parkinson's disease. Isn't that sad?' Then the guy will look over at us and my mom will just keep talking.

Her biggest insult to me is that I 'leave my bobby pins everywhere.' Which I probably do, but that isn't bad. At least I'm not leaving like.. i don't know.. used condoms everywhere... or stuff from my meth lab. Whenver she asks me what to do with a part of the house she always throws in there... ' Or, we could put your bobby pins on there.'

For example, Annie, what should we do with this space if I take the fishtank down? What could we put in this hallway?'

' why dont you just not have anything in the nook of the hallway?

-should we put an exercise machine there.??

um... no.. that would be really awkward. People would only have about 2 feet to walk around you.

-you're right. that is a bad idea. What should I do ... We could just put a table there. Then we could just put all your bobby pins on it. '

Funny mom.

I don't know why I'm writing all this stuff about my mom. I guess i'm really nervous about living with her again. She is pretty live-able with... for about 70 percent of the time. the other 30 percent is pure hell. Like when she calls me on the phone in brainerd to tell me I left a sock on my bedroom floor and that I am a lazy, lazy, person, and I can just never remember to pick up aftermyself... it's pathetic etc. she can'tjust say one insult. It's like 500 insults later until she is satisfied. I learned the last tiem I was home to never touch her computer. I had to check my email for a email from my organic chem professor. I was literally on her computer for 4 minutes.. or less. Then when she got on it 4 hours later, and the computer had to re-start she got really angry at me. Her rave went something like this.'

' dammit annie! you used this computer didnt 'you? I'm so behind on everything and I am just sitting here waiting for this damn computer to restart. It can't take it when you use it. It gets all of these viruses and the security on the computer goes crazy, and then I have to wait for it to restart. I just don't have this time. It told me as soon as I got on that there was a security update and it was completed and now it turned itself off.

'mom, it's a security update. your c omputer updates itself automatically, and then for the updates to download or work correctly the computer has to shut down and restart. I don't know why, but it does that on it's own.'

'WHAT!?!?! What did you do to it!?!? I don't have time to sit here and wait for this. ''' etc.. etc.. etc..

Then she'll yell about random crap for 5 minutes until I feel like my face is going to explode and I just have to walk away. I don't even say anything for her 5 minute rant. You just have to let her get it out otherwise you're just prolonging the yelling.

When really, she has been doing random things like reading magazines, looking over papers for her court that she's already looked over 500 times and faxed to every single person that would have to do anything to do with anything of the case. I don't really know what she did until 4pm when she decided to go and chart on her computer program. It took her computer about 4-6 minutes to re-boot and get her back to her charting program. BUt that was a 4-6 minutes of hell. I don't really know how I'm going to live at home. yes, it will be cheaper, But I think sanity is worth the extra 6-7000 dollars a year in rent. don't you?

remember how that last post I wrote has a really bad reading flow to it? mostly because I'm real tired and forget what I had just said.. so the next thing I type has nothing to do with that last sentence. Sorry about that. Fix it later. -wyman

the last month..

oops. Remember how I have actually been busy and forgot to write on this ? amazing.
I've been slowly moving out of my house. (which is totally a good time... wait... nope. ) I hate moving in summary. I hate organizing things and categorizing things and putting things away, and then taking them out and doing the same thing again when I get home. uggghhhh. . rat terds.

1. What else.. I have 5 shifts left at the b-nerd! woop woop. So far, every shift has been horrible, you know, not staffed well... my patient should be a DNR but instead is on every drip possible, a vent, other tubes.. etc... and then I usually have some O.O.C etoh withdrawl patient. I hate those. REally hate em. St cloud gets those too... which is a downer. They should just take all the nurses that suck at being nurses and put them in a hospital called A.V.H.P.P. Standing for, ativan haldol valium and possibly propofol hospital. Where everyone is in restraints and all you do is push meds and get hit and beaten up by patients that swear at you and have no idea what the hell is going on. Such as the guy I took care of today. (he has been to rehab 17 times.... ) wouldn't you think after the 10th time.. maybe even the 15th time... that you would just be like... screw this. Obviously I have a drinking problem. He was only 40 too. Rehab centers are usually for 2-3 months at a time depending on which you go to.... so thats like over 3 years of your life in a rehab center. unbelievable. bop.

I don't know why the computer made that a paragraph with a 1. in front of it. who knows....

I also did a traithlon in duluth besides the one in st cloud. It was... mmm.. interesting. I think I am only going to do shorter triathlons from now on. Only because people do those that arent' elite athletes, so I feel like I'm a better athlete when I compare myself to other people that somewhat suck at exercise more than I do. does that make sense? Such as the triathlon I did in duluth. (1 mile swim, 20.. something mile bike, 5.5 mile run..) There was also a half of that distance triathlon. Those people went first. they only had to swim a half mile, bike 10-12 miles and run 2 . something miles. Luckies. It would have gone okay... except for in the first 3 seconds of the swim, some girl kicked me in the eye and broke my goggles. I had to stand up in the water and try to fix them. I could tighten them enough so that the left eye goggle could stay in place. So i was one-eye goggle swim. I think I finished the swim in some pretty good timing anyways, like a half hour or so. It was all downhill from there. I got to the biking part and that's when the shit hit the fan.

A couple days before the traithlon I went to the bike store in st cloud to get some shoe thingies, and or 'toe clips' to put on your bike. That was your shoe fits into this cage thingy and you can have more momentum all the way through the pedal stroke instead of just 1/3-1/4 of the rotation. I ended up spending like 2 hours at the bike store talking to this guy. This is the same guy I have seen every single time I have been to the bike store... sadly.. I don't remember his name. I do know most of his life story though. Anywho, the first thing he did was make fun of me for asking for toe clips. His exact words were, ' Did somebody old tell you to get toe-clips?'

Maybe. What's your point? Then he showed me these new versions of 'toe clips' which arent' toe clips at all . They are actual shoes with thingies on the bottoms of them that attatch to the pedals of the bike. First I tried on the shoes. Which are hilarious. They are like tap shoes but more awkward. emphasis on the more awkward part. They are so awkward that you cant' even really walk normally in them. Maybe most people can, but I couldn't. I had to tippy toe in them. When I walked in the shoes it looked like I was trying to be really sneaky... Or at least that's what was going through my mind. Especially during the triathlon during the transition parts when I was running my bike back to it's spot. I was having a hard time not laughing. Anyways, the guy at the bike store said that I could make my transitions faster if I hooked the shoes into the pedals ahead of time, and then all I would have to do is just leave them un-velcroed and loose and then just stick my feet into the shoes and velcro them as I started the bike part. Sounded simple enough. Sounded liek a pretty damn good idea. Except for when I actually tried it. At the race, after I finished the one eye swim, I got to my bike and quick put shorts and a shirt on, socks, helmet etc.. then ran my bike up 100 yards or so to the part where you could get onto your bike. Meanwhile, this is the part where there are runners leaving from the long course, bikers coming in from the short course, and there are about 150 people watchign the 3-4 different lanes. I try to get onto my bike and I was on for about 4 seconds, then I got all wobbly and couldn't get my foot in the shoe and I fell. Falling with a bike is weird. You are holding onto the bike so you cant' really block your fall. Good thing I have a really cushiony side-ass. So when I fall I hear all these screams and old women yelling,' somebody help her!!' Then I tried to stand up with the bike,also hard to do by the way. So I then decide, maybe I should take one shoe off now and put it on my foot so all I will have to do is put one shoe on while I'm on the bike. So I'm fuddling around trying to un-hook the shoe while a million people are watching. I can also hear all their comments. 'what is she doing' or 'this is taking a long time.' or 'she's going to bleed all over the timing mat.' Eventually I un-hooked the one shoe and put it on my foot un-velcroed. then I got back onto the bike to try to quick stick my left foot in the shoe on the pedal and fell again. This time to the other side. Once again all the screaming and weird comments. The best was this one lady who was shaking her head, ' I saw that coming.' Good god. So finally this girl who had done the swimming part but was a part of a triathlon team, (one person does each leg of the traithlon..) came over and actually had to help me take the other shoe off and help me velcro the shoes. It was awful. To make it worse, who is standing 5 feet in front of me directing the people where to go? None other than the druely weird Cathedral high school graduate Clayton Keim. What a weird 5-7 minutes. He was literally standing less than 5 feet in front of me and every time I got onto the bike and looked forward, claytom keim was staring at me. So my whole 3 second fall to the ground each time I was looking into the eyes of claytom keim. I remember when we were on the ski team togethor and he would ski by and there would just be a huge lob of snotty druel hanging out of his mouth/chin area. Obviously he was much more concentrated on skiing than swallowing his spit.

AFter the falls I finished the biking part and got back and tip-toed/sneaky mcgee'd back to put my bike away. Then I got lost trying to put my bike away because there are so many flippin racks for the bikes and you are so disoriented you can't remember your number or which lane you were in. so I kept turning around and tip toe running. Remember that half of the people are done now. (either the ridiculously fast guy-long course triathletes, or all of the short course people.) so they are within the bike racks as well watching you run all around and be weird and not knowing where the hell you're going. Then I wanted to pee before I started the run and this bitch girl goes into the only biffy in the whole bike area ... TO CHANGE CLOTHES. WHAT!?!?! So I had to go searchign through the thorny side brush area and pee in the bushes. Hope nobody else was back there. Then I started running. Which was fine for the first 1-1.5 miles, until my knee cap started sliding around. Then I had to walk for a mile to give it time to get used to staying in the same place. But that time all of the people that I had been in front of.. (not that many.. probably like 15...) all passed me. Hopefully on that part of the run people just looked at my bleeding scrapey knees and bruised sides and just though, ' ohh,... look at that clumsy girl trying to run... lets all cheer!! ' I did at one point start running again after a little while. I think I ended up finishing in 3 hours. I thought I had beaten one old man. Probably like a 65 year old man.... but he dropped out. So I got last. haha. dammit. oh well. next year, right?

oh yeah, one other funny random thing. I was taking care of this guy at work, he had a bunch of cancer and was pretty sick.. etc. Apparently he liked me, not in a weird way, in the ' I think you're nice and a good nurse' way. He was probably the only patient that ever like me. He would even ask people on day shift if I was on for evenings and had him. Long story short, I had to come into his room every half hour or so to empty his urinal. one time around 10pm he accidentally missed the little table thing and spilled his urine all over the floor. He put his call light on and I went in to find out he had done that. So I go get the stuff to clean it up and while I'm cleaning it he says, 'you're going to make a good wife someday.' What? So when my husband pees all over the floor and rings the bell by the side of the bed and is all like. hey slave, clean up my urine pile..' I'll do a good job of it. A k A. I'll make a good wife. I thought that was funny.

okay. that's all. Bye!