last day!!

I have just completed my last day of work at the brainerd medical center. Schweeet!!!

Except it was also kind of sad. I'm going to miss all of the people there. One lady who had viral meningitis even came to work today to say goodbye to me. amazing. I gave her a high five. (Then I washed my hands. ) They set up a little party for me at this coffee/pizza/bagel place on wednesday .. where I ate pizza. And drank coffee. hollllaaaa. I will miss them.. .well.. most of them . Except this one creepy ass disgusting doctor. On this last sunday he came into my patient's room. I had an alcohol withdrawal pt. (weird...) So I'm trying to help this guy eat dinner and the doctor keeps talking to me. This doctor will remain nameless. We had what I thought was a normal conversation.. then he gave me his card with his office number and he wrote his cell phone on it and such and said if I ever needed a reference he would be glad to do it. I just thought he was being nice. That is because I am a nieve idiot. At 10pm, I went over to Tele to help with this one lady who needed to get transferred to the ICU and had sepsis etc. At 1015/10:30ish I'm in her room putting some IV's in her when Kassandra pages me from the desk and says. ( we have little speakers in each room so you can talk back and forth from the desk..) Anyways, Kass pagesme and says, ' Annie did you page Dr. ___ ? ' I said... no.... wasn't he off at 8? Kass: Yes... but he's on the phone for you out here. Me: Great. ..... .

That's when I got the weird horrible nausea heavy feeling in my stomach. So I tell this lady who is vomiting all over the place to just hold on a sec and I'll be right back. Little did she know when I said right back I apparently meant 20 minutes.. because I could not get off the damn phone. Pretty sure the phone conversation went something like this:

Hello Annie! How are you?

-um. Fine. You know, just at work. WORKING.

-How long are you there until?

-you know.. the usual... 11:30. The usual 3-11 shift...

So what day are you done again?

thursday

Tuesday?

THURSDAY.

This thursday?

yes.

Then what are you doing? Are you going on vacation for a week?

No. I'm babysitting my sister's kids.

Is this your sister in residency?

yes.

How old are her kids?

baby and 2.

(At this point all my co -workers are looking at me like... Wtf? What is going on? Being you know. this doctor calls me... AT work, and is having a conversation that has nothing to do with anything medical or anyp atients.. and he is off of work. Could this get more awkward? Yes. Because this doctor is 40 something I believe. And from a different country so the whole time, basically every other sentence I'm like.. ' what? what did you say?' So that makes the conversation drag out even longer. Pretty sure I was so angry and confused my whole face was burning and all I wanted to do was go and cry in the bathroom. What crazy asshole (who may be married.. I don't know.. nor do I care..) Calls someone half their age at work to ask them .. well. I'll finish the conversation.

Oh okay. That will be an interesting time.

Yes. Well, I should go back to...

So you are going to her house to babysit?

YES.

So you are going back to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES.

What other plans do you have? Are you dating someone?

(I should have said yes but I was so embarrassed by this point in time that I was seriously still on the phone I just wanted to puke all over the place so I could be excused from the conversation)

No.

So you are going to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES ('m pretty sure we already got this straightened out...)

And maybe someday you will get married.

Yes. Maybe someday. But I doubt it.

(he laughs. Yes. It's hilarious. goodbye. I hope you fall in a hole and can't get out.)

You will get married, and then have babies.

... yup..... well.. I gotta get back to my patient now..

So you have my number.

YEs. (holy shit yes, that I will never use and I'll probably burn it when I get home so I can forget you exist.)

(this is when the conversation got the most awkward.. because we each repeated the same thing .... 3 or 4 times in a row.

..

Dr asshole shit head: How will I reach you though?

-Yeah, well, I'll let you know how everything goes...

But I dont' have your number? How will I reach you?

-I'll let you know how everything goes with school and such...

How will I get a hold of you? I need your number. How will we ever meet up if I dont' have your number?

- I'LL CALL YOU. . AND LET YOU KNOW HOW I'M DOING.. . O K...

Okay annie you call me. you have a good night.

Yup. you too... bye.

okay, goodbye now.

BYE.

Make sure to call me, because I don't have your number.

HOly F-ing shit.. I think We all know you don't have that... and that the lord for small favors such as this.

( i didnt' want to make it really obvious to everyone else that this doctor was asking me for my phone number and or on a date... so I just kept trying to end the conversation... I failed. )

So that was awkward. I was really distraught after that. Looking back I guess it wasn't that big of a deal but I had to go to the bathroom for a while and cry and straighten myself out before returning to work. The whole time I thought he just thought I was a good nurse and was offering me a recommendation, when really, all he wanted was a piece of ass. Piece of shit. I'll kill him,... with a thousand arrows of poison death. What's up now? mm?

Other random funny things that happened...

I found out where I get my judgemental personality. My mother. We were watching this show on TV where this kid had a bunch of ginormous tumors in his face. Like his face didnt' even look real. It looked like a plastic cartoon face. I wish I coudl draw pictures on this blog. I just attatched the image.. somehow it's at the top of the page.. and its' really small. I drew it myself on paint about 15 seconds ago. Pretty accurate i would say. It is a picture of giant tumor face compared to someone else. It was kind of funny that they had this special on him. They made it seem like these tumors were going to kill him, and that he was already blind in one eye from the pressure of the tumor, and now he may go blind in his other eye. Also, that his airway was being conpromised from his chin tumor. I just kind of thought to myself.... why didnt' they take care of these tumors when his face was only twice the size it should be.. instead of 5 times the normal size. (to each his own I guess...) Anyways, My mom started watching this with me about 3/4 of the way through. Of course, this is all in chinese, and there are english translations of what they are saying written on the tv. I can't remember what that's called.. that 's why I had the long explanation. mraw. When they did talk english it was like... horrible chinese accent trying to talk english with very bad grammar. hilarious. They would say a sentence in 'english' and my mom would yell back at the TV. . ' There's no S in later!!!!' 'It's so sad, they are such smart people and they can't talk.' Hilarious. She kept doing this. She would correct the bad chinese accent. She would yell the correct way to say it back to the TV, and emphasize the pronunciation/enunciation. 'it's FRAG-MENt. FRAGMENT!!!!' I couldn't stop laughing. She didn't understand why. It's still funny when I think about it. Amazing. She didnt' think it was funny though. (weird.)

More examples of her being herself is when she sees someone walking down the street. They will be within hearing distance and she will loudly proclaim. ' ANNIe. Annie, look at that man over there. Do you see his gait? He has parkinson's disease. Isn't that sad?' Then the guy will look over at us and my mom will just keep talking.

Her biggest insult to me is that I 'leave my bobby pins everywhere.' Which I probably do, but that isn't bad. At least I'm not leaving like.. i don't know.. used condoms everywhere... or stuff from my meth lab. Whenver she asks me what to do with a part of the house she always throws in there... ' Or, we could put your bobby pins on there.'

For example, Annie, what should we do with this space if I take the fishtank down? What could we put in this hallway?'

' why dont you just not have anything in the nook of the hallway?

-should we put an exercise machine there.??

um... no.. that would be really awkward. People would only have about 2 feet to walk around you.

-you're right. that is a bad idea. What should I do ... We could just put a table there. Then we could just put all your bobby pins on it. '

Funny mom.

I don't know why I'm writing all this stuff about my mom. I guess i'm really nervous about living with her again. She is pretty live-able with... for about 70 percent of the time. the other 30 percent is pure hell. Like when she calls me on the phone in brainerd to tell me I left a sock on my bedroom floor and that I am a lazy, lazy, person, and I can just never remember to pick up aftermyself... it's pathetic etc. she can'tjust say one insult. It's like 500 insults later until she is satisfied. I learned the last tiem I was home to never touch her computer. I had to check my email for a email from my organic chem professor. I was literally on her computer for 4 minutes.. or less. Then when she got on it 4 hours later, and the computer had to re-start she got really angry at me. Her rave went something like this.'

' dammit annie! you used this computer didnt 'you? I'm so behind on everything and I am just sitting here waiting for this damn computer to restart. It can't take it when you use it. It gets all of these viruses and the security on the computer goes crazy, and then I have to wait for it to restart. I just don't have this time. It told me as soon as I got on that there was a security update and it was completed and now it turned itself off.

'mom, it's a security update. your c omputer updates itself automatically, and then for the updates to download or work correctly the computer has to shut down and restart. I don't know why, but it does that on it's own.'

'WHAT!?!?! What did you do to it!?!? I don't have time to sit here and wait for this. ''' etc.. etc.. etc..

Then she'll yell about random crap for 5 minutes until I feel like my face is going to explode and I just have to walk away. I don't even say anything for her 5 minute rant. You just have to let her get it out otherwise you're just prolonging the yelling.

When really, she has been doing random things like reading magazines, looking over papers for her court that she's already looked over 500 times and faxed to every single person that would have to do anything to do with anything of the case. I don't really know what she did until 4pm when she decided to go and chart on her computer program. It took her computer about 4-6 minutes to re-boot and get her back to her charting program. BUt that was a 4-6 minutes of hell. I don't really know how I'm going to live at home. yes, it will be cheaper, But I think sanity is worth the extra 6-7000 dollars a year in rent. don't you?