Tuesday, August 5, 2008

the last month..

oops. Remember how I have actually been busy and forgot to write on this ? amazing.
I've been slowly moving out of my house. (which is totally a good time... wait... nope. ) I hate moving in summary. I hate organizing things and categorizing things and putting things away, and then taking them out and doing the same thing again when I get home. uggghhhh. . rat terds.
  1. What else.. I have 5 shifts left at the b-nerd! woop woop. So far, every shift has been horrible, you know, not staffed well... my patient should be a DNR but instead is on every drip possible, a vent, other tubes.. etc... and then I usually have some O.O.C etoh withdrawl patient. I hate those. REally hate em. St cloud gets those too... which is a downer. They should just take all the nurses that suck at being nurses and put them in a hospital called A.V.H.P.P. Standing for, ativan haldol valium and possibly propofol hospital. Where everyone is in restraints and all you do is push meds and get hit and beaten up by patients that swear at you and have no idea what the hell is going on. Such as the guy I took care of today. (he has been to rehab 17 times.... ) wouldn't you think after the 10th time.. maybe even the 15th time... that you would just be like... screw this. Obviously I have a drinking problem. He was only 40 too. Rehab centers are usually for 2-3 months at a time depending on which you go to.... so thats like over 3 years of your life in a rehab center. unbelievable. bop.

I don't know why the computer made that a paragraph with a 1. in front of it. who knows....

I also did a traithlon in duluth besides the one in st cloud. It was... mmm.. interesting. I think I am only going to do shorter triathlons from now on. Only because people do those that arent' elite athletes, so I feel like I'm a better athlete when I compare myself to other people that somewhat suck at exercise more than I do. does that make sense? Such as the triathlon I did in duluth. (1 mile swim, 20.. something mile bike, 5.5 mile run..) There was also a half of that distance triathlon. Those people went first. they only had to swim a half mile, bike 10-12 miles and run 2 . something miles. Luckies. It would have gone okay... except for in the first 3 seconds of the swim, some girl kicked me in the eye and broke my goggles. I had to stand up in the water and try to fix them. I could tighten them enough so that the left eye goggle could stay in place. So i was one-eye goggle swim. I think I finished the swim in some pretty good timing anyways, like a half hour or so. It was all downhill from there. I got to the biking part and that's when the shit hit the fan.

A couple days before the traithlon I went to the bike store in st cloud to get some shoe thingies, and or 'toe clips' to put on your bike. That was your shoe fits into this cage thingy and you can have more momentum all the way through the pedal stroke instead of just 1/3-1/4 of the rotation. I ended up spending like 2 hours at the bike store talking to this guy. This is the same guy I have seen every single time I have been to the bike store... sadly.. I don't remember his name. I do know most of his life story though. Anywho, the first thing he did was make fun of me for asking for toe clips. His exact words were, ' Did somebody old tell you to get toe-clips?'

Maybe. What's your point? Then he showed me these new versions of 'toe clips' which arent' toe clips at all . They are actual shoes with thingies on the bottoms of them that attatch to the pedals of the bike. First I tried on the shoes. Which are hilarious. They are like tap shoes but more awkward. emphasis on the more awkward part. They are so awkward that you cant' even really walk normally in them. Maybe most people can, but I couldn't. I had to tippy toe in them. When I walked in the shoes it looked like I was trying to be really sneaky... Or at least that's what was going through my mind. Especially during the triathlon during the transition parts when I was running my bike back to it's spot. I was having a hard time not laughing. Anyways, the guy at the bike store said that I could make my transitions faster if I hooked the shoes into the pedals ahead of time, and then all I would have to do is just leave them un-velcroed and loose and then just stick my feet into the shoes and velcro them as I started the bike part. Sounded simple enough. Sounded liek a pretty damn good idea. Except for when I actually tried it. At the race, after I finished the one eye swim, I got to my bike and quick put shorts and a shirt on, socks, helmet etc.. then ran my bike up 100 yards or so to the part where you could get onto your bike. Meanwhile, this is the part where there are runners leaving from the long course, bikers coming in from the short course, and there are about 150 people watchign the 3-4 different lanes. I try to get onto my bike and I was on for about 4 seconds, then I got all wobbly and couldn't get my foot in the shoe and I fell. Falling with a bike is weird. You are holding onto the bike so you cant' really block your fall. Good thing I have a really cushiony side-ass. So when I fall I hear all these screams and old women yelling,' somebody help her!!' Then I tried to stand up with the bike,also hard to do by the way. So I then decide, maybe I should take one shoe off now and put it on my foot so all I will have to do is put one shoe on while I'm on the bike. So I'm fuddling around trying to un-hook the shoe while a million people are watching. I can also hear all their comments. 'what is she doing' or 'this is taking a long time.' or 'she's going to bleed all over the timing mat.' Eventually I un-hooked the one shoe and put it on my foot un-velcroed. then I got back onto the bike to try to quick stick my left foot in the shoe on the pedal and fell again. This time to the other side. Once again all the screaming and weird comments. The best was this one lady who was shaking her head, ' I saw that coming.' Good god. So finally this girl who had done the swimming part but was a part of a triathlon team, (one person does each leg of the traithlon..) came over and actually had to help me take the other shoe off and help me velcro the shoes. It was awful. To make it worse, who is standing 5 feet in front of me directing the people where to go? None other than the druely weird Cathedral high school graduate Clayton Keim. What a weird 5-7 minutes. He was literally standing less than 5 feet in front of me and every time I got onto the bike and looked forward, claytom keim was staring at me. So my whole 3 second fall to the ground each time I was looking into the eyes of claytom keim. I remember when we were on the ski team togethor and he would ski by and there would just be a huge lob of snotty druel hanging out of his mouth/chin area. Obviously he was much more concentrated on skiing than swallowing his spit.

AFter the falls I finished the biking part and got back and tip-toed/sneaky mcgee'd back to put my bike away. Then I got lost trying to put my bike away because there are so many flippin racks for the bikes and you are so disoriented you can't remember your number or which lane you were in. so I kept turning around and tip toe running. Remember that half of the people are done now. (either the ridiculously fast guy-long course triathletes, or all of the short course people.) so they are within the bike racks as well watching you run all around and be weird and not knowing where the hell you're going. Then I wanted to pee before I started the run and this bitch girl goes into the only biffy in the whole bike area ... TO CHANGE CLOTHES. WHAT!?!?! So I had to go searchign through the thorny side brush area and pee in the bushes. Hope nobody else was back there. Then I started running. Which was fine for the first 1-1.5 miles, until my knee cap started sliding around. Then I had to walk for a mile to give it time to get used to staying in the same place. But that time all of the people that I had been in front of.. (not that many.. probably like 15...) all passed me. Hopefully on that part of the run people just looked at my bleeding scrapey knees and bruised sides and just though, ' ohh,... look at that clumsy girl trying to run... lets all cheer!! ' I did at one point start running again after a little while. I think I ended up finishing in 3 hours. I thought I had beaten one old man. Probably like a 65 year old man.... but he dropped out. So I got last. haha. dammit. oh well. next year, right?

oh yeah, one other funny random thing. I was taking care of this guy at work, he had a bunch of cancer and was pretty sick.. etc. Apparently he liked me, not in a weird way, in the ' I think you're nice and a good nurse' way. He was probably the only patient that ever like me. He would even ask people on day shift if I was on for evenings and had him. Long story short, I had to come into his room every half hour or so to empty his urinal. one time around 10pm he accidentally missed the little table thing and spilled his urine all over the floor. He put his call light on and I went in to find out he had done that. So I go get the stuff to clean it up and while I'm cleaning it he says, 'you're going to make a good wife someday.' What? So when my husband pees all over the floor and rings the bell by the side of the bed and is all like. hey slave, clean up my urine pile..' I'll do a good job of it. A k A. I'll make a good wife. I thought that was funny.

okay. that's all. Bye!

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