So. I got a new car!!!! She.. or he.... I have not yet decided is a white hyundai sonata. With a V6 engine. Aka, i can go really fast.. really quickly. I drove around quite a few cars before I finally decided. I was kind of thinking of getting a CRV... but I kept looking behind me and seeing all the space that I don't need. So I went with just a regular car. I really enjoy it. It took a lot of work to find that car. My dad and I decided to take a trip to the cities to look at these 2009 sonatas with 8-12,000 miles on them. I talked to this lady-shaun was her name, and she sent me this long email about how they do a 50 point inspection on all the vehicles and they wash and buff them and give them all oil changes etc etc. First I drove this silvery blue one. Before I get in she goes- 'oh yeah, and the radio is broken in this one. ' Right. Why would you even let people test drive a car if something was obviously wrong with it? Then I drove another one from her and the car's allignment was way off. After we got back from the second test drive my dad said that the car was leaning to the left. Her response was, 'Well, maybe it hasn't gone through it's 50 point inspection yet. I just wanted to say, Yes, but the one with the broken radio had been... ? I bet she just got the inpection papers back and they said, ' Well, 50 people have indeed inspected the radio, and yes, it is broken.' Needless to say, I did not get a car from that dealership.
After I got the car home I was trying to think of a name for it...polly? maybe i'll still keep up with the ghetto names and go with.... shaniqua? better yet..la fonda.. Speaking of weird names, MArks' roomate went on a date with a girl the other day. His roomate is pretty hilarious. But a big talker. If you ask him a question, be prepared for a 20 minute answer. Anyways, the girl he went on a date with- her name was johnalynn. Before I immediately make fun of her before even meeting her, well, I guess it's not that bad. Lets all be liberal for a few minutes and have an open mind that is blinded by happiness and marshmallows. Maybe her parents couldn't decide if it was a girl or boy when she was born, or maybe they couldn't think of a boy or a girl name that they really liked so they picked a bisexual name. They could have picked a name like Jamie or Taylor, and they would have been covered either way. But instead they went with John-a-lynn. It reminds me of that episode of the simpsons when Bart is at a theme park looking at all the name keychains, and finds the name Bort. Then the overhead speaker says, 'attention, attention-we no longer have any 'bort' keychains in stock. We apologize for the inconvenience.'
What else happened... oh yeah. I had a work meeting. Work meetings are much much worse than actually working. How do people have office jobs? Because all that is, is going to meetings. I wonder what office people think when they go to work.
'What should I do today? Maybe I'll check my email. Ooooo, wait, I could stack these papers. Then maybe i'll get some coffee. Woah!! PAper jam in copier 5.. This shit's outta control.'
My work meeting was on tuesday morning, at the ungodly hour of 730 am. Bo0. The first hour and a half was about showing us statistics about the unit. We give all the patient's and families these surveys that ask questions like;
My nurse kept me informed at all times of any changes and I felt well informed throughout my loved ones hospital stay. (please circle) 1 2 3 4 5
or
'My nurse was very patient, respectful and courteous. 1 2 3 4 5
There are about 70 of these questions on 4 different surveys. There is also a survey that other nurses from different units of the hospital can fill out to judge our performance. Our nurse manager painfully went through each and every one. Such as, ' Last month, we scored 90.4% on being polite and coureous, and this month, we scored 89.6%, So, If you guys could just make sure you're being really kind to everyone, that would be great. Thanks.' Then we looked at trends over the past 6-12 months to see that we usually vary by 3-4 percents throughout the month depending on the time of year. Then we read all of the comments out loud. She also read 9 letters written to employees, by other employees. Like a 2 page thank you note to someone she would just read out loud. Apparently, at the St. Cloud hospital, we can't just hand a thank you note to someone the day help us. We have to hand it to the manager, who gives it to this other lady, who gives it to another office lady, (it usually takes 2-3 weeks) then the thank you note appears on the 'thank you note' board in the break room. That way, 3 weeks later, that person will know that they helped you with something... they probably don't remember what, but they totally have a note on the board. Why can't we just post our own notes onto the thank you board? I have no idea. Another person in an office probably wrote a policy on how to write and post thank you notes and you have to follow it or you'll get a verbal warning. I wonder if you disobey the rule several times if they have to fire you for not following company policy.
'what did you get fired for?' ' I wrote too many thank you notes.' Maybe I'll put a thank you note on there without approval just to 'stick it to the man'.
We had these thank you type of notes in brainerd as well. But you could just put your note right on the board. I got a thank you note one time there... it said, 'Annie, thanks for re-stocking the saline syringes and the vomit bags. -Doug, RN.'
I should have taken that with me. I kind of miss brainerd for that reason. Working there was so much more fun/ny. Some days I miss it there... but most of the time not.
Alright. I had better clean something because my mom is home today. And that is important.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
well crap
Well, I have more than 7 days since my last post. Crap. Maybe days I work shouldn't count as real days, because they aren't real life days. They are straight up work days that i don't do anything except work or sleep on. bop.
Work was pretty good this past weekend though. By good I mean at some points funny. There is this one guy who works night shifts.. I don't know if he's burnt out or what, but he's hilarious. Kind of in a dangerous way, but I guess nobody got hurt in the end. This is the report he gave to one of my co-workers one day.
' mmm... I don't really know much about this guy... you could probably just read over the doctor's notesand get a good idea.. Oh yeah, and I didn't get around to giving my 6AM meds, so if you could just get those for me that'd be great. Thanks. I'm out.'
I thought that my co-worker was kidding when she told me that. Apparently she wasn't. Because I came to work on sunday morning and the pleasent little lady I had had the day before who was doing fine and I weaned off her dopamine drip now had resps in the 40's (most people are less than 20 per minute...) and her Co2 was 9. This is what the nurse said:
'Yeah, not much has changed. I mean, she started this rapid breathing around 2AM. When I drew her labs her co2 was 9. I didn't call the doctor or anything yet. I figured you could just call them when you got here. Her sats were going down so I put a mask on her and upped her o2 to 10 liters. I wish I could tell you what's going on, but I don't really know. Maybe we just need some more labs. Well, that's about it.'
um... lol.. what? Seriously? It's like he's the most laid back person in the entire universe. He should probably be on the show scrubs. It's like he's on the show in secrecy. Hey- whatever guys... lets get some pizza. I don't know why I said that. Maybe they say that on scrubs a lot.... riiighhht... Put that one in the good story bag.
On another weird note, I had transferred this lady out on friday, and one saturday evening she was back. Bleeding more large amounts of blood in the form of poo. For those of you that don't know, there are very few things that smell quite as bad as bloody poo. For that matter, there are also very few things that Look quite as gross as bloody poo. Sometimes when I have my period and I poop and I look in the toilet I get grossed out. I see pee poop and blood and then I just think, all I need to do now is throw up in there and we'll have all the bodily functions in a pot. Yes, I am weird. Anyways, GI bleeds smell kind of like a poo that has been stirring up inside someone for a long time. Like the poop wanted to come out really bad but it couldn't so it kept gettign older and older and older and thicker and more concentrated. You know how blood has kind of a salty smell? It's kind of like concentrated smell of poo.. with saltiness. and an old basement mold smell. Very intense.
So this lady with the GI bleed was back. She was very entertaining. Her eyes were always slit open. Like she was continually squinting. She forgot everything very easily and her way of getting the nurse was to just say a sentence over and over again with the same monotone voice. EAch time louder than the time before. Just incase nobody heard her. For example:
Nurse.
Nurse.
Nurse.
Nurse.
NURSE.
nURSE i WOULD LIKE a warm blanket please
nurse.. I would like a warm blanket please.
NURSE, HELLO
(always very demanding.. but very polite. weird.)
So after 5 minutes of this somebody would make it into her room and give her a warm blanket. Then she would say the same thing every time . 'Ooh that's heaven.' 'Ohh that's heaven.'
Then 3 minutes later... NUrse..... Nurse...... Nurse... Could you bring me a warm blanket please.... Could you bring me a warm blanket please.
Then she would alternate that with Nurse.. Am I still bleeding?
or.. Nurse.. What's my hemoglobin?
It was even funnier because she had about 75 blankets on her after a few hours. Every now and then , (and when I say now and then.. I mean every 30 minutes...) she would say she had to poo. So you had to pull back the 80 pounds of blankets to get to her. Then roll her on to the bedpan. Very few times she would actually go to the bathroom. BUt one time.. she did. IT was the same old rotted mold blood salt poo smell. But it looked a little different. It was like putty. MArrony brown chunky putty. There are these things on the toilet that flip down and spray when you put the flusher down. Usually once takes care of the poo on the bedpan. But no. I sprayed the sprayer at least 6 times... and the poo would not come off. So I had to go to the heavy duty pan sprayer. It's in the dirty utility room. Nick told me about the dirty pan sprayer. It's for the exceptionally large impossible to clean poo. You put the bedpan in this metal thing. (and by damn sure you make doubly sure it's sealed tight before you flush..... ) Anyhow, i put her pan in the heavy duty pan cleaner and took it out.. and it was still stuck on there like i hadn't even touched it. Then I thought, what the hell, did this lady just shit cement onto this bedpan? Pretty sure she did. Becaues I double gloved my hands and had to manually peel the poo off the pan in chunks. Never had to do that before. BUt it is true, Every day you learn something new in nursing. It is indeed possible to poop out glue, and or caulking solution. She should have sold that stuff to some contractors. You could use it to hold bricks togethor.
It was equally just as hard to peel off her butt. The funny thing is, squinty eyes broke her streak of repetitivity (is that a word?) While I was scrubbing the bloody poop off her butt she just says, 'Hey... do you guys want to hear a dumb joke? It's really dumb, but it's still funny.' Then the 89 year old proceeds to tell me a joke about a guys penis while I'm cleaning up her butt. It's like we were all sitting at a dinner table telling jokes... except... not. Oh nursing. Hilarious.
Oh cute, I just looked up and all the dogs are licking eachother ears out. It's like a circular ear licking train. Gretta is licking the inside of molly's ears, who is licking sofies ears. Who is now trying to lick my face. Oh sofenheimer.
Work was pretty good this past weekend though. By good I mean at some points funny. There is this one guy who works night shifts.. I don't know if he's burnt out or what, but he's hilarious. Kind of in a dangerous way, but I guess nobody got hurt in the end. This is the report he gave to one of my co-workers one day.
' mmm... I don't really know much about this guy... you could probably just read over the doctor's notesand get a good idea.. Oh yeah, and I didn't get around to giving my 6AM meds, so if you could just get those for me that'd be great. Thanks. I'm out.'
I thought that my co-worker was kidding when she told me that. Apparently she wasn't. Because I came to work on sunday morning and the pleasent little lady I had had the day before who was doing fine and I weaned off her dopamine drip now had resps in the 40's (most people are less than 20 per minute...) and her Co2 was 9. This is what the nurse said:
'Yeah, not much has changed. I mean, she started this rapid breathing around 2AM. When I drew her labs her co2 was 9. I didn't call the doctor or anything yet. I figured you could just call them when you got here. Her sats were going down so I put a mask on her and upped her o2 to 10 liters. I wish I could tell you what's going on, but I don't really know. Maybe we just need some more labs. Well, that's about it.'
um... lol.. what? Seriously? It's like he's the most laid back person in the entire universe. He should probably be on the show scrubs. It's like he's on the show in secrecy. Hey- whatever guys... lets get some pizza. I don't know why I said that. Maybe they say that on scrubs a lot.... riiighhht... Put that one in the good story bag.
On another weird note, I had transferred this lady out on friday, and one saturday evening she was back. Bleeding more large amounts of blood in the form of poo. For those of you that don't know, there are very few things that smell quite as bad as bloody poo. For that matter, there are also very few things that Look quite as gross as bloody poo. Sometimes when I have my period and I poop and I look in the toilet I get grossed out. I see pee poop and blood and then I just think, all I need to do now is throw up in there and we'll have all the bodily functions in a pot. Yes, I am weird. Anyways, GI bleeds smell kind of like a poo that has been stirring up inside someone for a long time. Like the poop wanted to come out really bad but it couldn't so it kept gettign older and older and older and thicker and more concentrated. You know how blood has kind of a salty smell? It's kind of like concentrated smell of poo.. with saltiness. and an old basement mold smell. Very intense.
So this lady with the GI bleed was back. She was very entertaining. Her eyes were always slit open. Like she was continually squinting. She forgot everything very easily and her way of getting the nurse was to just say a sentence over and over again with the same monotone voice. EAch time louder than the time before. Just incase nobody heard her. For example:
Nurse.
Nurse.
Nurse.
Nurse.
NURSE.
nURSE i WOULD LIKE a warm blanket please
nurse.. I would like a warm blanket please.
NURSE, HELLO
(always very demanding.. but very polite. weird.)
So after 5 minutes of this somebody would make it into her room and give her a warm blanket. Then she would say the same thing every time . 'Ooh that's heaven.' 'Ohh that's heaven.'
Then 3 minutes later... NUrse..... Nurse...... Nurse... Could you bring me a warm blanket please.... Could you bring me a warm blanket please.
Then she would alternate that with Nurse.. Am I still bleeding?
or.. Nurse.. What's my hemoglobin?
It was even funnier because she had about 75 blankets on her after a few hours. Every now and then , (and when I say now and then.. I mean every 30 minutes...) she would say she had to poo. So you had to pull back the 80 pounds of blankets to get to her. Then roll her on to the bedpan. Very few times she would actually go to the bathroom. BUt one time.. she did. IT was the same old rotted mold blood salt poo smell. But it looked a little different. It was like putty. MArrony brown chunky putty. There are these things on the toilet that flip down and spray when you put the flusher down. Usually once takes care of the poo on the bedpan. But no. I sprayed the sprayer at least 6 times... and the poo would not come off. So I had to go to the heavy duty pan sprayer. It's in the dirty utility room. Nick told me about the dirty pan sprayer. It's for the exceptionally large impossible to clean poo. You put the bedpan in this metal thing. (and by damn sure you make doubly sure it's sealed tight before you flush..... ) Anyhow, i put her pan in the heavy duty pan cleaner and took it out.. and it was still stuck on there like i hadn't even touched it. Then I thought, what the hell, did this lady just shit cement onto this bedpan? Pretty sure she did. Becaues I double gloved my hands and had to manually peel the poo off the pan in chunks. Never had to do that before. BUt it is true, Every day you learn something new in nursing. It is indeed possible to poop out glue, and or caulking solution. She should have sold that stuff to some contractors. You could use it to hold bricks togethor.
It was equally just as hard to peel off her butt. The funny thing is, squinty eyes broke her streak of repetitivity (is that a word?) While I was scrubbing the bloody poop off her butt she just says, 'Hey... do you guys want to hear a dumb joke? It's really dumb, but it's still funny.' Then the 89 year old proceeds to tell me a joke about a guys penis while I'm cleaning up her butt. It's like we were all sitting at a dinner table telling jokes... except... not. Oh nursing. Hilarious.
Oh cute, I just looked up and all the dogs are licking eachother ears out. It's like a circular ear licking train. Gretta is licking the inside of molly's ears, who is licking sofies ears. Who is now trying to lick my face. Oh sofenheimer.
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