last day!!

I have just completed my last day of work at the brainerd medical center. Schweeet!!!

Except it was also kind of sad. I'm going to miss all of the people there. One lady who had viral meningitis even came to work today to say goodbye to me. amazing. I gave her a high five. (Then I washed my hands. ) They set up a little party for me at this coffee/pizza/bagel place on wednesday .. where I ate pizza. And drank coffee. hollllaaaa. I will miss them.. .well.. most of them . Except this one creepy ass disgusting doctor. On this last sunday he came into my patient's room. I had an alcohol withdrawal pt. (weird...) So I'm trying to help this guy eat dinner and the doctor keeps talking to me. This doctor will remain nameless. We had what I thought was a normal conversation.. then he gave me his card with his office number and he wrote his cell phone on it and such and said if I ever needed a reference he would be glad to do it. I just thought he was being nice. That is because I am a nieve idiot. At 10pm, I went over to Tele to help with this one lady who needed to get transferred to the ICU and had sepsis etc. At 1015/10:30ish I'm in her room putting some IV's in her when Kassandra pages me from the desk and says. ( we have little speakers in each room so you can talk back and forth from the desk..) Anyways, Kass pagesme and says, ' Annie did you page Dr. ___ ? ' I said... no.... wasn't he off at 8? Kass: Yes... but he's on the phone for you out here. Me: Great. ..... .

That's when I got the weird horrible nausea heavy feeling in my stomach. So I tell this lady who is vomiting all over the place to just hold on a sec and I'll be right back. Little did she know when I said right back I apparently meant 20 minutes.. because I could not get off the damn phone. Pretty sure the phone conversation went something like this:

Hello Annie! How are you?

-um. Fine. You know, just at work. WORKING.

-How long are you there until?

-you know.. the usual... 11:30. The usual 3-11 shift...

So what day are you done again?

thursday

Tuesday?

THURSDAY.

This thursday?

yes.

Then what are you doing? Are you going on vacation for a week?

No. I'm babysitting my sister's kids.

Is this your sister in residency?

yes.

How old are her kids?

baby and 2.

(At this point all my co -workers are looking at me like... Wtf? What is going on? Being you know. this doctor calls me... AT work, and is having a conversation that has nothing to do with anything medical or anyp atients.. and he is off of work. Could this get more awkward? Yes. Because this doctor is 40 something I believe. And from a different country so the whole time, basically every other sentence I'm like.. ' what? what did you say?' So that makes the conversation drag out even longer. Pretty sure I was so angry and confused my whole face was burning and all I wanted to do was go and cry in the bathroom. What crazy asshole (who may be married.. I don't know.. nor do I care..) Calls someone half their age at work to ask them .. well. I'll finish the conversation.

Oh okay. That will be an interesting time.

Yes. Well, I should go back to...

So you are going to her house to babysit?

YES.

So you are going back to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES.

What other plans do you have? Are you dating someone?

(I should have said yes but I was so embarrassed by this point in time that I was seriously still on the phone I just wanted to puke all over the place so I could be excused from the conversation)

No.

So you are going to school and going to work in st cloud.

YES ('m pretty sure we already got this straightened out...)

And maybe someday you will get married.

Yes. Maybe someday. But I doubt it.

(he laughs. Yes. It's hilarious. goodbye. I hope you fall in a hole and can't get out.)

You will get married, and then have babies.

... yup..... well.. I gotta get back to my patient now..

So you have my number.

YEs. (holy shit yes, that I will never use and I'll probably burn it when I get home so I can forget you exist.)

(this is when the conversation got the most awkward.. because we each repeated the same thing .... 3 or 4 times in a row.

..

Dr asshole shit head: How will I reach you though?

-Yeah, well, I'll let you know how everything goes...

But I dont' have your number? How will I reach you?

-I'll let you know how everything goes with school and such...

How will I get a hold of you? I need your number. How will we ever meet up if I dont' have your number?

- I'LL CALL YOU. . AND LET YOU KNOW HOW I'M DOING.. . O K...

Okay annie you call me. you have a good night.

Yup. you too... bye.

okay, goodbye now.

BYE.

Make sure to call me, because I don't have your number.

HOly F-ing shit.. I think We all know you don't have that... and that the lord for small favors such as this.

( i didnt' want to make it really obvious to everyone else that this doctor was asking me for my phone number and or on a date... so I just kept trying to end the conversation... I failed. )

So that was awkward. I was really distraught after that. Looking back I guess it wasn't that big of a deal but I had to go to the bathroom for a while and cry and straighten myself out before returning to work. The whole time I thought he just thought I was a good nurse and was offering me a recommendation, when really, all he wanted was a piece of ass. Piece of shit. I'll kill him,... with a thousand arrows of poison death. What's up now? mm?

Other random funny things that happened...

I found out where I get my judgemental personality. My mother. We were watching this show on TV where this kid had a bunch of ginormous tumors in his face. Like his face didnt' even look real. It looked like a plastic cartoon face. I wish I coudl draw pictures on this blog. I just attatched the image.. somehow it's at the top of the page.. and its' really small. I drew it myself on paint about 15 seconds ago. Pretty accurate i would say. It is a picture of giant tumor face compared to someone else. It was kind of funny that they had this special on him. They made it seem like these tumors were going to kill him, and that he was already blind in one eye from the pressure of the tumor, and now he may go blind in his other eye. Also, that his airway was being conpromised from his chin tumor. I just kind of thought to myself.... why didnt' they take care of these tumors when his face was only twice the size it should be.. instead of 5 times the normal size. (to each his own I guess...) Anyways, My mom started watching this with me about 3/4 of the way through. Of course, this is all in chinese, and there are english translations of what they are saying written on the tv. I can't remember what that's called.. that 's why I had the long explanation. mraw. When they did talk english it was like... horrible chinese accent trying to talk english with very bad grammar. hilarious. They would say a sentence in 'english' and my mom would yell back at the TV. . ' There's no S in later!!!!' 'It's so sad, they are such smart people and they can't talk.' Hilarious. She kept doing this. She would correct the bad chinese accent. She would yell the correct way to say it back to the TV, and emphasize the pronunciation/enunciation. 'it's FRAG-MENt. FRAGMENT!!!!' I couldn't stop laughing. She didn't understand why. It's still funny when I think about it. Amazing. She didnt' think it was funny though. (weird.)

More examples of her being herself is when she sees someone walking down the street. They will be within hearing distance and she will loudly proclaim. ' ANNIe. Annie, look at that man over there. Do you see his gait? He has parkinson's disease. Isn't that sad?' Then the guy will look over at us and my mom will just keep talking.

Her biggest insult to me is that I 'leave my bobby pins everywhere.' Which I probably do, but that isn't bad. At least I'm not leaving like.. i don't know.. used condoms everywhere... or stuff from my meth lab. Whenver she asks me what to do with a part of the house she always throws in there... ' Or, we could put your bobby pins on there.'

For example, Annie, what should we do with this space if I take the fishtank down? What could we put in this hallway?'

' why dont you just not have anything in the nook of the hallway?

-should we put an exercise machine there.??

um... no.. that would be really awkward. People would only have about 2 feet to walk around you.

-you're right. that is a bad idea. What should I do ... We could just put a table there. Then we could just put all your bobby pins on it. '

Funny mom.

I don't know why I'm writing all this stuff about my mom. I guess i'm really nervous about living with her again. She is pretty live-able with... for about 70 percent of the time. the other 30 percent is pure hell. Like when she calls me on the phone in brainerd to tell me I left a sock on my bedroom floor and that I am a lazy, lazy, person, and I can just never remember to pick up aftermyself... it's pathetic etc. she can'tjust say one insult. It's like 500 insults later until she is satisfied. I learned the last tiem I was home to never touch her computer. I had to check my email for a email from my organic chem professor. I was literally on her computer for 4 minutes.. or less. Then when she got on it 4 hours later, and the computer had to re-start she got really angry at me. Her rave went something like this.'

' dammit annie! you used this computer didnt 'you? I'm so behind on everything and I am just sitting here waiting for this damn computer to restart. It can't take it when you use it. It gets all of these viruses and the security on the computer goes crazy, and then I have to wait for it to restart. I just don't have this time. It told me as soon as I got on that there was a security update and it was completed and now it turned itself off.

'mom, it's a security update. your c omputer updates itself automatically, and then for the updates to download or work correctly the computer has to shut down and restart. I don't know why, but it does that on it's own.'

'WHAT!?!?! What did you do to it!?!? I don't have time to sit here and wait for this. ''' etc.. etc.. etc..

Then she'll yell about random crap for 5 minutes until I feel like my face is going to explode and I just have to walk away. I don't even say anything for her 5 minute rant. You just have to let her get it out otherwise you're just prolonging the yelling.

When really, she has been doing random things like reading magazines, looking over papers for her court that she's already looked over 500 times and faxed to every single person that would have to do anything to do with anything of the case. I don't really know what she did until 4pm when she decided to go and chart on her computer program. It took her computer about 4-6 minutes to re-boot and get her back to her charting program. BUt that was a 4-6 minutes of hell. I don't really know how I'm going to live at home. yes, it will be cheaper, But I think sanity is worth the extra 6-7000 dollars a year in rent. don't you?

remember how that last post I wrote has a really bad reading flow to it? mostly because I'm real tired and forget what I had just said.. so the next thing I type has nothing to do with that last sentence. Sorry about that. Fix it later. -wyman

the last month..

oops. Remember how I have actually been busy and forgot to write on this ? amazing.
I've been slowly moving out of my house. (which is totally a good time... wait... nope. ) I hate moving in summary. I hate organizing things and categorizing things and putting things away, and then taking them out and doing the same thing again when I get home. uggghhhh. . rat terds.

1. What else.. I have 5 shifts left at the b-nerd! woop woop. So far, every shift has been horrible, you know, not staffed well... my patient should be a DNR but instead is on every drip possible, a vent, other tubes.. etc... and then I usually have some O.O.C etoh withdrawl patient. I hate those. REally hate em. St cloud gets those too... which is a downer. They should just take all the nurses that suck at being nurses and put them in a hospital called A.V.H.P.P. Standing for, ativan haldol valium and possibly propofol hospital. Where everyone is in restraints and all you do is push meds and get hit and beaten up by patients that swear at you and have no idea what the hell is going on. Such as the guy I took care of today. (he has been to rehab 17 times.... ) wouldn't you think after the 10th time.. maybe even the 15th time... that you would just be like... screw this. Obviously I have a drinking problem. He was only 40 too. Rehab centers are usually for 2-3 months at a time depending on which you go to.... so thats like over 3 years of your life in a rehab center. unbelievable. bop.

I don't know why the computer made that a paragraph with a 1. in front of it. who knows....

I also did a traithlon in duluth besides the one in st cloud. It was... mmm.. interesting. I think I am only going to do shorter triathlons from now on. Only because people do those that arent' elite athletes, so I feel like I'm a better athlete when I compare myself to other people that somewhat suck at exercise more than I do. does that make sense? Such as the triathlon I did in duluth. (1 mile swim, 20.. something mile bike, 5.5 mile run..) There was also a half of that distance triathlon. Those people went first. they only had to swim a half mile, bike 10-12 miles and run 2 . something miles. Luckies. It would have gone okay... except for in the first 3 seconds of the swim, some girl kicked me in the eye and broke my goggles. I had to stand up in the water and try to fix them. I could tighten them enough so that the left eye goggle could stay in place. So i was one-eye goggle swim. I think I finished the swim in some pretty good timing anyways, like a half hour or so. It was all downhill from there. I got to the biking part and that's when the shit hit the fan.

A couple days before the traithlon I went to the bike store in st cloud to get some shoe thingies, and or 'toe clips' to put on your bike. That was your shoe fits into this cage thingy and you can have more momentum all the way through the pedal stroke instead of just 1/3-1/4 of the rotation. I ended up spending like 2 hours at the bike store talking to this guy. This is the same guy I have seen every single time I have been to the bike store... sadly.. I don't remember his name. I do know most of his life story though. Anywho, the first thing he did was make fun of me for asking for toe clips. His exact words were, ' Did somebody old tell you to get toe-clips?'

Maybe. What's your point? Then he showed me these new versions of 'toe clips' which arent' toe clips at all . They are actual shoes with thingies on the bottoms of them that attatch to the pedals of the bike. First I tried on the shoes. Which are hilarious. They are like tap shoes but more awkward. emphasis on the more awkward part. They are so awkward that you cant' even really walk normally in them. Maybe most people can, but I couldn't. I had to tippy toe in them. When I walked in the shoes it looked like I was trying to be really sneaky... Or at least that's what was going through my mind. Especially during the triathlon during the transition parts when I was running my bike back to it's spot. I was having a hard time not laughing. Anyways, the guy at the bike store said that I could make my transitions faster if I hooked the shoes into the pedals ahead of time, and then all I would have to do is just leave them un-velcroed and loose and then just stick my feet into the shoes and velcro them as I started the bike part. Sounded simple enough. Sounded liek a pretty damn good idea. Except for when I actually tried it. At the race, after I finished the one eye swim, I got to my bike and quick put shorts and a shirt on, socks, helmet etc.. then ran my bike up 100 yards or so to the part where you could get onto your bike. Meanwhile, this is the part where there are runners leaving from the long course, bikers coming in from the short course, and there are about 150 people watchign the 3-4 different lanes. I try to get onto my bike and I was on for about 4 seconds, then I got all wobbly and couldn't get my foot in the shoe and I fell. Falling with a bike is weird. You are holding onto the bike so you cant' really block your fall. Good thing I have a really cushiony side-ass. So when I fall I hear all these screams and old women yelling,' somebody help her!!' Then I tried to stand up with the bike,also hard to do by the way. So I then decide, maybe I should take one shoe off now and put it on my foot so all I will have to do is put one shoe on while I'm on the bike. So I'm fuddling around trying to un-hook the shoe while a million people are watching. I can also hear all their comments. 'what is she doing' or 'this is taking a long time.' or 'she's going to bleed all over the timing mat.' Eventually I un-hooked the one shoe and put it on my foot un-velcroed. then I got back onto the bike to try to quick stick my left foot in the shoe on the pedal and fell again. This time to the other side. Once again all the screaming and weird comments. The best was this one lady who was shaking her head, ' I saw that coming.' Good god. So finally this girl who had done the swimming part but was a part of a triathlon team, (one person does each leg of the traithlon..) came over and actually had to help me take the other shoe off and help me velcro the shoes. It was awful. To make it worse, who is standing 5 feet in front of me directing the people where to go? None other than the druely weird Cathedral high school graduate Clayton Keim. What a weird 5-7 minutes. He was literally standing less than 5 feet in front of me and every time I got onto the bike and looked forward, claytom keim was staring at me. So my whole 3 second fall to the ground each time I was looking into the eyes of claytom keim. I remember when we were on the ski team togethor and he would ski by and there would just be a huge lob of snotty druel hanging out of his mouth/chin area. Obviously he was much more concentrated on skiing than swallowing his spit.

AFter the falls I finished the biking part and got back and tip-toed/sneaky mcgee'd back to put my bike away. Then I got lost trying to put my bike away because there are so many flippin racks for the bikes and you are so disoriented you can't remember your number or which lane you were in. so I kept turning around and tip toe running. Remember that half of the people are done now. (either the ridiculously fast guy-long course triathletes, or all of the short course people.) so they are within the bike racks as well watching you run all around and be weird and not knowing where the hell you're going. Then I wanted to pee before I started the run and this bitch girl goes into the only biffy in the whole bike area ... TO CHANGE CLOTHES. WHAT!?!?! So I had to go searchign through the thorny side brush area and pee in the bushes. Hope nobody else was back there. Then I started running. Which was fine for the first 1-1.5 miles, until my knee cap started sliding around. Then I had to walk for a mile to give it time to get used to staying in the same place. But that time all of the people that I had been in front of.. (not that many.. probably like 15...) all passed me. Hopefully on that part of the run people just looked at my bleeding scrapey knees and bruised sides and just though, ' ohh,... look at that clumsy girl trying to run... lets all cheer!! ' I did at one point start running again after a little while. I think I ended up finishing in 3 hours. I thought I had beaten one old man. Probably like a 65 year old man.... but he dropped out. So I got last. haha. dammit. oh well. next year, right?

oh yeah, one other funny random thing. I was taking care of this guy at work, he had a bunch of cancer and was pretty sick.. etc. Apparently he liked me, not in a weird way, in the ' I think you're nice and a good nurse' way. He was probably the only patient that ever like me. He would even ask people on day shift if I was on for evenings and had him. Long story short, I had to come into his room every half hour or so to empty his urinal. one time around 10pm he accidentally missed the little table thing and spilled his urine all over the floor. He put his call light on and I went in to find out he had done that. So I go get the stuff to clean it up and while I'm cleaning it he says, 'you're going to make a good wife someday.' What? So when my husband pees all over the floor and rings the bell by the side of the bed and is all like. hey slave, clean up my urine pile..' I'll do a good job of it. A k A. I'll make a good wife. I thought that was funny.

okay. that's all. Bye!