Monday, March 24, 2008

Today is shift #9 in a row. I guess I shouldn't complain. My sister is on call like every other day. Nothing that interesting happened yesterday. Diarrhea stream was still there. (weird.) Except he was getting supposedly confused. When I went into his room he was oriented and fine. I was like.. what are they talking about disoriented? Then I asked him.. did you get any visitors today? He told me his wife came (which she did...) and they went and sat outside to watch the golf tournament. Damn . You were so close JAmes. You had to say that last sentence. It's funny because whatever he watches on TV he thinks happened. Golf was on at the time. He also sleeps really poorly. I thought he was awake one time because he was moving his arm and his eyes were open... but he was sleeping. Creepy. The lights were all dim and it was like a weird horror movie watching his eyes flutter around and him makign all these grunty noises. I felt like I should start reading bible verses, you know, to exorcise the demon.
hmm... what else. Oh yes, I called JEsse's phone. I couldn't help it. I had to know if he was in jail or not. I went to the liquor store and bought some wine just for the occassion. He answered his phone. Damn. What a let down. Apparently I was right before, he really is just sitting in his mom's basement until he can pay the fines . When I mean, him pay the fines, I mean his mom or grandpa give him the money to pay the fines. Hilarious. Sad, but still hilarious. By the time she gets the money, if he would have just gone to jail, his stay would have probably been over halfway done. Oh well. There's still a chance he can go. The cops just have to find him. Nevermind. They probably are just looking around the office for him. I can just imagine it. 'Jesse...? Are you under this desk? (looking..) mmm.. nope. Guess I'll eat this sandwich. '

I'll find him myself when I go to duluth and turn his ass in. woop woop!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

what the hell. it's still not turning out right. damn graphs. no wonder I hated stats. I even made one on the graph thing on microsoft.. but it wouldnt' transfer as an image onto this page. STupid. wangs.

new graph

the graph below did not turn out right.. I don't know why. I'll try again

TASK........................ NORMAL PERSON .....................BECKY's
turning a patient................. one........................................... 7
flushing a toilet.................... one................................... .......14
giving meds......................... one ..........................................39
Talking super slowly........ Annoyed................................... one

happy easter

Summary of work today:
-disoriented lady with steam of same 9 questions. Where am I ? Who are you? In the hospital!?! etc...

Which is kind of funny becuase you explain it and 5 minutes later.... So.. who are you? And usually all the information is a surprise.. Again!! Sometimes I just make it up and say things like we're in a train station or some shit. Because 5 minutes later I can change it back to the hospital when she asks again. Pretty cool. AFter 6 hours of questioning I got a little sick of it, so I just gave her some risperdal. That did the trick. Good night dimented mcgee. I am basically a jerk. BAsically what went through my mind was this, ' mmm.... I don't really want to talk to her anymore. Guess I'll just give her this pill so she passes out. She's confused either way anyways.'
Kindness flows through my veins.
Then I had mississippi flowing poo butthole guy, and Urinal man.. AGAIN. BAck for the 3rd time in 2 months. Unreal. He took his temperature at home and it was 101.5 So he came to the hospital. (I guess nobody has ever heard of tylenol..) Then when he got to the hospital his temp was 99.0. With still.. no tylenol.. so they admitted him to tele. Makes total sense. I guess he does have a heart in his body that we can monitor.
Then it was me and the charge nurse, who is really nice, and most importantly.. competent.
There is another lady That I worked with. BEcky. I used to like the name becky.. now it is a terrible name. Every time I think of her I think of on forrest gump, when forrest's mom is talking to the principal, and the principal is showing her a graph of normal IQ's... and the principal says, 'the state requires a minimum IQ of 85 to attend public schools.. (shows the line of 85.) Now FOrrest, (aka becky..) is Riigght here. (Points below that line.)
It's like when you look into her eyes she isnt' thinking anything. She is just there. Alive. Every 5 seconds she comes and asks me a question about something. It's not like she's only been a nurse for ashort amount of time.... she's 56. That's like.. 30 years of nursing. I guess the only way to put it is everything about her is slow. EVERYTHINg. Even the speed of her talking. So basically, I took care of all her patients as well, because she couldnt' do anything. she spent 40 minutes in one room trying to hook up an iv pole. Not put the iv in... just put the tubing into the machine part.. So she came and found me and kept telling me in a ridiculously slow voice what was wrong with the pu mp.. and instead of listening to her finish her 5 minute long sentence I just walked down the hallway set up her pump and came back. 2 minutes later. Done. Then she made me walk her back and show her what I did. While we were in there she says, ' how many blondes does it take to start an IV pump?' And I wanted to say.. 'how many becky's does it take .. compared to a normal person.. to do aNY task?'

I'll make a graph to display this more easily.

TASK NORMAL PERSON BECKY's
turning a patient one 7

flushing a toilet one 14

giving meds one 39

Talking super slowly Annoyed one

The other girl working was, (excuse my language.) bitch float girl. She is always angry. ALWAYS. Probably every 5 seconds she is thinking.. 'this is the angriest i've ever been in my whole LIFE!' She never helps with anything. Someone could be on fire and she could be sitting next to a bucket of water and sand, but you know, reading a sentence. the person could just be 'um.., would you please help me?' She'd look up and be like. ' CHRIST! hold on.!!! 'Then finish her sentence, then like lotion her hands, fix her hair.. etc.. by that time the person is either dead or the fire is already out. For example. My dimented lady was falling out of bed and I asked if she could help me get her back in. She looked up at me all annoyed and even more angered that I had asked for her help, then she said, 'Well, I am writing something down right now. Hold on.'

Um... Okay. This job is going to take wwaaaayyy to many becky's.. so I'll just lift her up myself and put her back in bed. Sweet. Sorry back. I'll probably only be able to be a nurse for 5 years until my back gives. Oh well. I'll have to cry myself to sleep the day that comes. Hopefully I'll be something else by then. Good deal.
Happy easter all!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

pbbbbbbbbbbb

So apparently Jesse isn't in Jail yet. I only know this because he called my phone 4-6 times in the past day or two. damn. Cell phones aren't allowed in jail. He's probably running from the cops. when I say running, I mean hanging out in his mom's basement while she smokes pot. pbbbbbbb. what a downer.
Then today at work there was this guy with literally the mississippi flowing out of his ass. He made me give him some prune juice at 5pm. That was a poor choice. He had been off and on the commode for 3 or 4 hours. Which was not a small task. When you're 300 pounds and your legs are so filled with fluid that you can't stand on them.. but refuse to use a bedpan... or wear a brief, aka diaper. ..and have to get up to the commode. Pretty sure the charge nurse and I were trying to lift him up and it was like he was too lazy to hold his own weight. He kept telling us 'LIFT!! LIFT!!!' um.. listen up crazy, both of us togethor dont' weigh you... pretty sure you're on your own. We'll cushion your fall. Actually, your ginormous fluidy legs will cushion your fall. Anyways, to make a long story short, the night was pretty dead up until this guy decided to have some steadily flowing BM. I was playing some hang man with doug the charge nurse, when fluid legs needed to use the commode. We got him up there and while he was standing, (aka us holding him up..) He started going. This wasnt' like just a normal poo. It was greeny brown thickily thin drippings. I shouldn't say drippings, it was a stream. So we pulled him onto the commode and we were cleaning up the floor. Then we got him cleaned up, which also took forever because he could only stand for 7 seconds at a time. So basically it was like, stand, wipe, sit back down on commode. Repeat process 14 times. Then we got him into bed, and all situated. To make it worse the whole time he is complaining about us, telling us we are slow, and this is just 'ridiculous' and he is 'damned cold.' Listen up poop stream- I can only wipe up diarrhea so fast , so you're just going to have to chill the f out. As soon as we got him back into bed he puts his call light on. He is going . In bed. Doug was the one to go in and he came out to tell me the news. It was hilarious. He just said. ' Um... I think he'll need both of us for this...' Then I said, ' what happened?' and he said ' I don't know, I didn't lift up the covers.'
Never a good sign.
So we go into the room and Doug rolls him on his side and I'm wiping. After I finally get it all clean, (thighs-mid back diarrhea), and get all the sheets and junk rolled underneath him.. the faucet of poo turned back on. Except it was hilarious because all of a sudden a submarine shot out of his ass onto the bed.. a huge solid poo. HUge. Like the size of a large guinea pig... or a miniature dachshund. Then with some more liquid stool. As Doug said, ' it was like poop.. with gravy. Lots and lots of gravy.' So I cleaned him again, and rewrapped everything to keep the poo off his clean butt and then he coughed.. and more shot out all over. Then 20 minutes later... it was a rewind of the process... starting off with the commode again, and the leakage... and the re-leakage. then finally, at shift change, he was done. He said he hadn't pooped in about 2 days. I guess that prune juice really shoots it out of him. It was like a boat of large chunky poo taking the river of slime out of the colon. slime gravy. Interesting day.
I wish jesse was in jail. pbbbbbb..

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

also hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1I_ozVln3w&feature=related

he's back...

Yesterday was a weird day. So many ups and downs. Lets just say it started off okay, then there was a huge highlight at 2:30, right before I went to work. Ever since I got this new phone I haven't really put any numbers into it. I have about 10 memorized from the people I usually talk to, and I put those in. Otherwsie, nobody is in there. So I got this phone call from a number I recognized but couldnt' really put my finger on. I answered it. Jesse Dowell. This was the amazing, no, wait, ridiculously hilarious phone call that ensued:



A: Hello..?J:

J: Hey Annie.

A: Oh. Hi.

J: (all shaky voice and crying sounding.) Umm..... I feel really bad talking to you about this. I don't even know what to say...

A: Well, you have about 10 minutes before I go to work to say it, just so you know. (yes, I am a bitch, but he is a ginormous asshole.)

J: Maybe I should call back later.

A: I probably won't answer my phone later, so if you have something to say, do it now.

J: I just figured since we were on good terms, I'd call you, because you're the only one I have left.



(Good terms!? ummm... ? hmm? I missed that one. Maybe Good terms means since we haven't talked in 7+ months. I've been pretty good since then. Also, I'm the only one left? Did you kill everyone else? Not that anyone would want to be friends with you because you steal and lie and are evil.. and have anti-social personality disorder.)



A: What are you talking about.

J: (More crying, etc, other shit.)

A: Um, Hello?

J: Okay, so, I have to pay these 'gay ass' fines or I have to go to jail for 60 days.



At this point in time I think I was so happy I was actually peeing my pants. I was in such a good mood nothing could have wrecked it. Someone could have just broke into my house and be like , 'Hey- I'm stealing your computer Again!." I'd be all... 'OKAY!!! :):):):):)"



A: I have an idea.

J: yeah?

A: Pay the fines!!!

J: Shut up. Please don't make a joke out of this, it's seriously going to happen. The cop said he's coming by my house to get me tomorrow at 3:00 if I don't have this payed by then.



Then he went through this ridiculously long soliloquy about how his mom has no money because she doesn't work. ( Although I wonder how she gets the money for pot. Disability perhaps?) He can't ask his grandpa because he's out of town on a ski trip, and he doubt that he would help him anyways because his grandpa doesn't like 'getting involved with the law.' All his roommates are gone for spring break. blah blah blah.

In conclusion, this is what he said after all of that,;

J: I just feel really stupid doing this, but I have no other option......





I knew what he was going to say.. I just couldn't believe he was actually saying it.



J: ..... could I borrow some money?

A: To pay your fines?

J:Yeah.

A: How the hell long have you had these fines and what are they for?

J: Just like, 'gas ass shit.'

A: Right.

J: No they're for like driving without a license, and some other stuff.

A: Um... pretty sure you didnt' have a license that was valid when we dated.... it's still not valid?

J: No no, it is now, these tickets are really old.

A: I'm sure they are. (I am also sure that you are lying)

J: no , they're really old . I told you.

A: So how much are these tickets?

J: Like, $350.

A: So, instead of spending money on drinking, because I know you have, and making your grandpa buy you a computer and fix your car, etc, why didn't you ask him for money for this stuff over the past year and a half? Or just pay it off yourself? Do you even have a job anymore?

J: Yeah... but I can't get enough hours



(This translates into, I never go. HE usually lasts aout 3 weeks at a job but never really shows up on time, or at all, andleaves no warning that he's not coming. STraight up genius.)



A: you do realize you still owe me $1500 dollars..... and you are asking for more money... saying you will pay me back. Should I just give you the $350 dollars so I won't be expecting anything later on?

J Annie I would totally pay you back in 2 weeks when I get my paycheck.

A: I'm sure you would.

J (All crying and sobbing.) I cant' go to jail.

A: Actually, you can, I think it's a pretty good deal. They pay for all your meals there, plus, you never have to pay the $ 350 dollars back. It's like staying in a motel 6 with a bunch of other homies for free.

J: This isn't funny. Do you know what I'm going through right now?

A: Yeah. Probably what you put me through about 500 times over. Sucks doesn't it?

J: Do you even know how sorry I am for what I did to you? I love you so much. (crying etc...)



At this point in time it's just getting ridiculous. I was actually trying not to laugh on the phone. My god, you've had these tickets for over a year and you ignore all of the warnings to pay them until they finally threaten you with jail, then you come crying (to me of all people.) that you don't want to go to jail for 60 days. Eat shit, dickhead.

A: Look Jesse, even talking to you on the phone is making my angry because it reminds me of everything you did. Then you call to ask me for more money....... Really? is this REally happening? I will actually be surprised if you go to jail, because somehow you get out of it. You actually truly deserve jail for about 60 years counting all the crap you did to me and other people. So I hope you enjoy your 60-day stay. f' off asshole.

What a great day. My ex-boyfriend is going to jail today!!! WEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

The happiness was a quick let-down at work though, because around 5:30 urinal 'lotion my balls' man was back. Damn. Damn damn damn. I work the next 7 days, which means he'll probably be there for at least 5-6 of them, maybe all 7. Usually if patients make it to the weekends, they stay the entire weekend because nobody cares to let them go. pbbbbbbbbbb. Guess my calves will get in better shape squatting for hours on end. damn.

Monday, March 17, 2008

I am an evil person

To make a long story short, I never ended up going on that date. I never called that lady back, partly because I didn't get her message until 9:45... and she told me to call her at 9:30. What if she went to sleep in those 15 minutes? I guess also because I didn't want to call her back.. but whatever. So all I really knew at this point was that sometime between 5 and 8pm the next day this kid wanted to meet me somewhere and hang out in snowpants. I kind of figured that there would be 10 calls from Marnie the next day and that I would never be able to get out of it. I also thought that he would end up calling my phone at least once to tell me what the devil was going on. So I just went to bed.
Next day: Woke up. Hung out with the dog. Ran some errands with my mom. I checked my phone at 5.. even though I really, really, ridiculously didn't want to. But there was not message. Then I thought... maybe Marnie told him I was having second thoughts about going and he called it off. So I got really excited and just left my phone sitting in the living room on silent. (Where it had been all day.. and usually is on most days.) I went to go call the Air Force lady at 7:30 because she had emailed me that day and had a few questions she needed answered. So I go to the phone... 4 missed calls. Please be from Teresa. Please God... No. None of them were. MArnie's number and then a call from a Random number. So I started off the messages. This was the first one.
Friday March 14th at 5:05 pm: " Umm... Hey Annie.. This is Jason, you know, Marnie's brother-in-law. I'm just letting you know that I'm in the black car outside of kohl's. Okay. Bye"

Cool.. I'm just letting you know that I'm in the maroon car parked in my driveway. Okay. Bye!
That's the message I should have left him. Instead I felt a huge surge of guilt. Oh shit. Was I supposed to meet him at Kohls? (In my snowsuit?) Talk about a weird meeting place (and outfit.) At that point in time I thought it would be funny if I also called him back and told him to meet me at caribou at 7:30, and make sure he wears his spandex pants... because I've got a lot planned.
The next message/s were all from Marnie.
"Annie.. where are you? Jason is waiting for you."

"Annie.. I don't remember if I told you or not, you're supposed to meet him at kohl's.. 20 minutes ago."

"Hey annie, I don't know where you are, but as soon as you get this call me back,"

It's sad, but also funny to imagine him waiting in the car calling Marnie over and over again. 'Nope she's not here... call her again and make her come.'
I imagine him sittign in the car listening to ace of base twiddling his thumbs. MAybe not ace of base, they're too good. Probably something crappy like papa roach. That fits him much better. Especially in the parking lot of kohls.
The other funny thing about his, (at least I think it's funny, because I'm a jerk,) is that his voice is much higher than expected. I do not picture someone in a mills fleet farm hat with a serious face talking like an 11 year old. BUt hey, to each his own.

So anywho, I called marnie back and told her that I was sorry and must had misunderstood her messages. I didn't know there was an exact plan. All I knew is that I was to wear a snowsuit, (Which by the way, I don't even have.) I also thought that he would call, or she would call before hand to make sure I knew what was going on. (Because nobody ever told me face to face as the what the hizell was happening... only through messages.)
Then I called back Papa Roach. Message machine. Thank God. I told him I was sorry that I didn't meet him because I had no idea that I was even supposed to. I had the general idea of 'sometime that day.. maybe... possibly..' I did tell him, however, that I knew I was supposed to wear snowpants. So I apologize if he was waiting outside of Kohls for 20 minutes.
Then I had the phone ON for the next 45 minutes but neither of them called back so I went to take the dogs for a walk and got home around 9:30/10. Then there were mesasges from both.
MArnies just said that I should call him back and just tell him what happened and he'd be 'cool with it.' Okay, Check. did that.

Then it was his message. Which was this:

:HEy-ya, This is Jason- You know, whatever. Shit happens. I told MArnie to tell you to meet me here at 5:00... but yeah- I guess there was a miscommunication. So yeah, you know, shit happens. Just give me a call back when you get this and we can figure something else out. '

To say the least, I did not give him a call back when I got it. Shit happens. Why didn't he himself just call and say, 'HI. THIS IS JASON. MEET ME AT KOHLS AT 5. '
I guess that's impossible. Obviously he had my number if he called after 5:00 to tell me he was at kohls waiting for me. Oh well. I guess God just had to make some idiots, that way we could all feel better about ourselves.

I hope MArnie isn't working today. Even though I know she is. MAybe she decided to quit her job and become a stay at home mom. Or a secretary for Jason, being she was already doing that.
I guess from now until the time I join the airforce I will be picking up every weekend to work , or make plans months in advance as to what I'm doing on every weekend. Good plan. Awesome. See everybody later. Probably a lot later.

Friday, March 14, 2008

oh devil

Last night I was eating dinner with the rents, and that lady from work called my phone. I had left a message on her phone that said in a really nice round about way that I didnt' want to go on the date anymore. So she called back and left me a message, (kind of angry dissapointing sounding..) " Hey annie, No, I think you should still go. He knows about your situation and is o-k with it. (Cool.. guess she must have talked to him about that too without telling me... ? ) "Anyways, it's kind of too late to cancel now. You are supposed to get all your snow stuff ready tonight and then you guys are going out to dinner then for some drinks. I'm at work right now but I get done at 9:30. Call me back then. "

WHAT!? What do you mean it's too late to cancel!? I have never even met him! It's a day before. Did he like reserve some place outside that we are going to walk on in our snowclothes on. Maybe he reserved a hill that we would sled on and it cost 20 dollars to reserve, and now that i'm not goign he can't get his money back. This is ridiculous. I told my parents and they were like... mmmm.... he's crazy. She is also crazy for not understanding that you don't want to go. They kept telling me that I dont' owe her an explanation.. and I shouldnt' have to call her back and say AGAIN that I don't want to go. I am really afraid she's going to be pissed at me. Oh devil. I also work most every day with this lady (she works evening shifts.) so now it's just going to awkward as all hell at work. . pbbbbbbb.
Really excited for Monday now. I haven't looked at my phone all day. There are probably 7 different messages on there... really angry evil messages that I am not meeting her brother in law who is 30-something that I don't know and who has never made an effort to call my phone to actually talk to me. I don't know what his deal is... he wrote a bunch of messages on myspace a couple months ago... then there was nothing. I feel the urge to go check my phone... but a stronger urge to flush my phone down the toilet. oh botha.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

yay for blogging

Well, thanks to the stealing bitches, I had to get a new computer. Which I have now, so I can blog anytime I please. Amazing. After they stole my computer and I was at home. (Brainerd home..) I would come home from work and be like... sweet..... what should I do? There are only so many times you can water a cactus and feed a fish. I still haven't boughten a plug/cable for my tv so I can, you know, turn it on and stuff. Whatever. The computer I got is like whitey/slivery. I think I'll name it .... whitey. Mm... maybe more like ... JAmes. that's a good name. He looks like a James. Maybe I'm just tired. Anywho, a whole lot has happened since I last blogged. There were so many times I came home from work and was all, man, I totally wish I could blog right now about what just happened. Now I don't remember what that was I could blog about.
I remember this one guy that I took care of at work was ridiculous. You know you're pathetic when you can't hold up your own urinal. I mean really. How hard is it? He could feed himself, but could not hold up his own urinal. AFter I held it I realized why. His was was tiny shminy. It was actually difficult trying to find it. Plus he was kind of overweight so I had to try to smash the urinal between his legs. Men's fat is funny. It's like when men get fat their fat is really hard, and women fat is really squishy. It's too bad it's not the other way around, that way getting the urinal under this guy wouldn't have been such a challenge.
One time I came into the room. (I came in about every 15 minutes to hold his urinal because had a UTI and apparently needed to pee 3 tablespoons every 10-20 minutes.) Oh sorry, UTI is urinary tract infection. I came in and would try to spread his legs which wouldn't spread, then just try to wedge the urinal into place... which was incredibly difficult because I really couldn't even tell his balls from the wang. It was like his wang retracted into his body and hid. I would get kind of excited that I found it.. but then it would just be his balls. Maybe his was retracted into teh balls part. That would make sense, because usually old man balls are ginormous, and the wangs are almost inexistant. Then he would keep asking.. 'did you find it yet?' How embarassing. For both of us. Then I would be like.. I think I found it, but you're sitting on it. Then he would have to try to lift up his body weight so I could pull the wang out from underneath him. When I finally would get it in place it took him 5-10 minutes to actually start peeing. (you can imagine how much time I spent in his room...) He would be like... maybe if I sit on the edge of the bed I could go then. So I would help him get to the edge of the bed, which also took a considerable amount of time. Then I had to start all over again finding the wang. Then that wouldn't work, and he would have to try to stand to pee. (which he was also NOT good at.) So My legs would start shaking from having to squat so long in an uncomfortable position. Then to make it worse, the guy would just start burping in my face. Continuous burping. I could feel the air from his mouth blowing onto my face. Warm, moist stinkage. So I would try not to breathe right after he burped. But the burps were so thick. It's like they just hung in the air and then he added to the smell every time. Then after he burped 40 times he would be like. 'I think it's coming now.' SWEET. A WESome. I'm super excited for when you finally can pee 3 tablespoons. When he finally peed the pee would just kind of dribble all over the place.
That day stunk. Then the highlight of the day was when he said, 'could you put some lotion on my balls?'
Um. Yeah. I would love to. At least I can find those. Good God. I guess I can understand why his balls would be sore if he continuously was dribbling piss all over them. Too bad. However, I did lotion them up real good.. He even told me I did a good job. I was all like, thanks, I really pride myself in the good job I can do slathering someone's balls with lotion.

So besides that, the lady at work keeps bothering me to date her brother in law. It's even worse now, because he doesn't try to talk to me. She does. She called my phone 7 times in the past 4 days saying, ' Hey annie! You shoudl call me back so I can tell you when and where you're meeting Jason on Friday.'
Right. Before I left on Monday to come home/get a bunch of Air Force stuff done in teh cities and grand forks, she told me that I was supposed to go on a date with him on friday at some place that I had never heard of. Five of my co-workers were standing there looking at me like, 'what the hell is she talking about?' I really didn't know what do say so I just said, um.. okay. I'll see if that works. Then she kept talking but I couldn't really actually listen to anything she was saying because in my mind I was pretending like it wasn't happening. So anywho, while I was gone getting my air-force stuff done she has left all sorts of messages on my phone. They start off nice.. then they get impatient sounding. The last one was something like, ' Hey annie- You really need to call me back so I can tell you what you and Jason are going to do. I hope you're at work today so I can talk to you, because I can't seem to get a hold of you. '

Um.. wtf? If this crazy face 30 year old wants to date me.. why doesn't he call me and say, 'HI. Where do you want to go hang out?' Or you know.. just call my phone. It's like me telling my mom to call a guy that I've never met and leaving him messages like, ' HEy! Annie's really excited to meeet you. she planned something and you need to call me back so I can give you the details.!' Really, really, really, REALLY pathetic. If he didn't sound like a real winner before, he sure does now. I'm going to have to make a shirt for him when I see him next that says, ' Here comes a winner!' or, 'Shield your eyes, or be blinded by my beauty.' Either would be good. I actually don't know really what he looks like because oh, THAT's right.. I have never met him. Awkward. REally awkward. Apparently, our date is tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do. I called marnie back, (crazy work lady.) and left a message on her phone saying that I accidentally left my phone in my car while I was gone and I had just got all her messages now.... and also that maybe it wasn't a good idea because I would be leaving for the air force and I dont' really want to get involved with anyone. Hopefully that will work. But I know it wont. I know she will call back and say,' it's okay, you guys can just hang out as friends.'
No marnie, we can't be friends becaues obviously there is a communication problem. I guess we can be friends through you. I 'll just call you and ask you tell Jason hi from me, and ask him how he is, and you know, every other detail about his life. Then tell him to call you back for me. Thanks, really appreciate it.
Damn. Damn damn damn damn. poopy. Iwould rather get burped on and hold urinals and put catheters in smelly ladies than date him. Boooooo. Boo to dating crazy chicken bringing guy. Somebody call me and tell me what to do. Okay. cool bye!