he's back...

Yesterday was a weird day. So many ups and downs. Lets just say it started off okay, then there was a huge highlight at 2:30, right before I went to work. Ever since I got this new phone I haven't really put any numbers into it. I have about 10 memorized from the people I usually talk to, and I put those in. Otherwsie, nobody is in there. So I got this phone call from a number I recognized but couldnt' really put my finger on. I answered it. Jesse Dowell. This was the amazing, no, wait, ridiculously hilarious phone call that ensued:



A: Hello..?J:

J: Hey Annie.

A: Oh. Hi.

J: (all shaky voice and crying sounding.) Umm..... I feel really bad talking to you about this. I don't even know what to say...

A: Well, you have about 10 minutes before I go to work to say it, just so you know. (yes, I am a bitch, but he is a ginormous asshole.)

J: Maybe I should call back later.

A: I probably won't answer my phone later, so if you have something to say, do it now.

J: I just figured since we were on good terms, I'd call you, because you're the only one I have left.



(Good terms!? ummm... ? hmm? I missed that one. Maybe Good terms means since we haven't talked in 7+ months. I've been pretty good since then. Also, I'm the only one left? Did you kill everyone else? Not that anyone would want to be friends with you because you steal and lie and are evil.. and have anti-social personality disorder.)



A: What are you talking about.

J: (More crying, etc, other shit.)

A: Um, Hello?

J: Okay, so, I have to pay these 'gay ass' fines or I have to go to jail for 60 days.



At this point in time I think I was so happy I was actually peeing my pants. I was in such a good mood nothing could have wrecked it. Someone could have just broke into my house and be like , 'Hey- I'm stealing your computer Again!." I'd be all... 'OKAY!!! :):):):):)"



A: I have an idea.

J: yeah?

A: Pay the fines!!!

J: Shut up. Please don't make a joke out of this, it's seriously going to happen. The cop said he's coming by my house to get me tomorrow at 3:00 if I don't have this payed by then.



Then he went through this ridiculously long soliloquy about how his mom has no money because she doesn't work. ( Although I wonder how she gets the money for pot. Disability perhaps?) He can't ask his grandpa because he's out of town on a ski trip, and he doubt that he would help him anyways because his grandpa doesn't like 'getting involved with the law.' All his roommates are gone for spring break. blah blah blah.

In conclusion, this is what he said after all of that,;

J: I just feel really stupid doing this, but I have no other option......





I knew what he was going to say.. I just couldn't believe he was actually saying it.



J: ..... could I borrow some money?

A: To pay your fines?

J:Yeah.

A: How the hell long have you had these fines and what are they for?

J: Just like, 'gas ass shit.'

A: Right.

J: No they're for like driving without a license, and some other stuff.

A: Um... pretty sure you didnt' have a license that was valid when we dated.... it's still not valid?

J: No no, it is now, these tickets are really old.

A: I'm sure they are. (I am also sure that you are lying)

J: no , they're really old . I told you.

A: So how much are these tickets?

J: Like, $350.

A: So, instead of spending money on drinking, because I know you have, and making your grandpa buy you a computer and fix your car, etc, why didn't you ask him for money for this stuff over the past year and a half? Or just pay it off yourself? Do you even have a job anymore?

J: Yeah... but I can't get enough hours



(This translates into, I never go. HE usually lasts aout 3 weeks at a job but never really shows up on time, or at all, andleaves no warning that he's not coming. STraight up genius.)



A: you do realize you still owe me $1500 dollars..... and you are asking for more money... saying you will pay me back. Should I just give you the $350 dollars so I won't be expecting anything later on?

J Annie I would totally pay you back in 2 weeks when I get my paycheck.

A: I'm sure you would.

J (All crying and sobbing.) I cant' go to jail.

A: Actually, you can, I think it's a pretty good deal. They pay for all your meals there, plus, you never have to pay the $ 350 dollars back. It's like staying in a motel 6 with a bunch of other homies for free.

J: This isn't funny. Do you know what I'm going through right now?

A: Yeah. Probably what you put me through about 500 times over. Sucks doesn't it?

J: Do you even know how sorry I am for what I did to you? I love you so much. (crying etc...)



At this point in time it's just getting ridiculous. I was actually trying not to laugh on the phone. My god, you've had these tickets for over a year and you ignore all of the warnings to pay them until they finally threaten you with jail, then you come crying (to me of all people.) that you don't want to go to jail for 60 days. Eat shit, dickhead.

A: Look Jesse, even talking to you on the phone is making my angry because it reminds me of everything you did. Then you call to ask me for more money....... Really? is this REally happening? I will actually be surprised if you go to jail, because somehow you get out of it. You actually truly deserve jail for about 60 years counting all the crap you did to me and other people. So I hope you enjoy your 60-day stay. f' off asshole.

What a great day. My ex-boyfriend is going to jail today!!! WEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

The happiness was a quick let-down at work though, because around 5:30 urinal 'lotion my balls' man was back. Damn. Damn damn damn. I work the next 7 days, which means he'll probably be there for at least 5-6 of them, maybe all 7. Usually if patients make it to the weekends, they stay the entire weekend because nobody cares to let them go. pbbbbbbbbbb. Guess my calves will get in better shape squatting for hours on end. damn.