happy easter

Summary of work today:
-disoriented lady with steam of same 9 questions. Where am I ? Who are you? In the hospital!?! etc...

Which is kind of funny becuase you explain it and 5 minutes later.... So.. who are you? And usually all the information is a surprise.. Again!! Sometimes I just make it up and say things like we're in a train station or some shit. Because 5 minutes later I can change it back to the hospital when she asks again. Pretty cool. AFter 6 hours of questioning I got a little sick of it, so I just gave her some risperdal. That did the trick. Good night dimented mcgee. I am basically a jerk. BAsically what went through my mind was this, ' mmm.... I don't really want to talk to her anymore. Guess I'll just give her this pill so she passes out. She's confused either way anyways.'
Kindness flows through my veins.
Then I had mississippi flowing poo butthole guy, and Urinal man.. AGAIN. BAck for the 3rd time in 2 months. Unreal. He took his temperature at home and it was 101.5 So he came to the hospital. (I guess nobody has ever heard of tylenol..) Then when he got to the hospital his temp was 99.0. With still.. no tylenol.. so they admitted him to tele. Makes total sense. I guess he does have a heart in his body that we can monitor.
Then it was me and the charge nurse, who is really nice, and most importantly.. competent.
There is another lady That I worked with. BEcky. I used to like the name becky.. now it is a terrible name. Every time I think of her I think of on forrest gump, when forrest's mom is talking to the principal, and the principal is showing her a graph of normal IQ's... and the principal says, 'the state requires a minimum IQ of 85 to attend public schools.. (shows the line of 85.) Now FOrrest, (aka becky..) is Riigght here. (Points below that line.)
It's like when you look into her eyes she isnt' thinking anything. She is just there. Alive. Every 5 seconds she comes and asks me a question about something. It's not like she's only been a nurse for ashort amount of time.... she's 56. That's like.. 30 years of nursing. I guess the only way to put it is everything about her is slow. EVERYTHINg. Even the speed of her talking. So basically, I took care of all her patients as well, because she couldnt' do anything. she spent 40 minutes in one room trying to hook up an iv pole. Not put the iv in... just put the tubing into the machine part.. So she came and found me and kept telling me in a ridiculously slow voice what was wrong with the pu mp.. and instead of listening to her finish her 5 minute long sentence I just walked down the hallway set up her pump and came back. 2 minutes later. Done. Then she made me walk her back and show her what I did. While we were in there she says, ' how many blondes does it take to start an IV pump?' And I wanted to say.. 'how many becky's does it take .. compared to a normal person.. to do aNY task?'

I'll make a graph to display this more easily.

TASK NORMAL PERSON BECKY's
turning a patient one 7

flushing a toilet one 14

giving meds one 39

Talking super slowly Annoyed one

The other girl working was, (excuse my language.) bitch float girl. She is always angry. ALWAYS. Probably every 5 seconds she is thinking.. 'this is the angriest i've ever been in my whole LIFE!' She never helps with anything. Someone could be on fire and she could be sitting next to a bucket of water and sand, but you know, reading a sentence. the person could just be 'um.., would you please help me?' She'd look up and be like. ' CHRIST! hold on.!!! 'Then finish her sentence, then like lotion her hands, fix her hair.. etc.. by that time the person is either dead or the fire is already out. For example. My dimented lady was falling out of bed and I asked if she could help me get her back in. She looked up at me all annoyed and even more angered that I had asked for her help, then she said, 'Well, I am writing something down right now. Hold on.'

Um... Okay. This job is going to take wwaaaayyy to many becky's.. so I'll just lift her up myself and put her back in bed. Sweet. Sorry back. I'll probably only be able to be a nurse for 5 years until my back gives. Oh well. I'll have to cry myself to sleep the day that comes. Hopefully I'll be something else by then. Good deal.
Happy easter all!!!