hi

I hate thinking of titles to put on these blogs. I can't really fit 'more stupid not important information that I am writing down on the internet' onto the space. Well, maybe I could, but I was too lazy to type it out at the time.
A lot of things have happened since I last wrote on this. I just can't think of any inparticular. I went home to see the dog a couple of times. Pretty much the highlight of my life. EVery time I see her, even if it's only been 5 minutes since the last time, she's usually ridiculously excited about it. Like I'll go to the bathroom, and then come back out and she'll be all.
'OH MY GOD!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!? I looked in the kitchen and you weren't there, then I looked outside. Then I drank some water. Then I was starting to get worried but then the door opened and there you WERE!!! I'm going to lick you a million times to make up for this 5 minutes of lost time. I am also going to wiggle my body around a whole bunch and make odd noises!!'
I love her. She's pretty much done with the going to the bathroom inside the house now. But if she makes the occassional accident, this is how it must be cleaned. (according to my o.c.d mom)
Steps to cleaning up dog urine
1.) soak it up with 3 paper towels, no more than that, because that is a waste.
2.) Get a bucket of soapy water
3.) wash the area with soapy water for at least one minute
4.) Dump out the soapy water and get rinse water.
5.) rinse the linoleum
6.) spray on one of the deoderizing animals spray .. sprays..
7.) get new rinse water and rinse the area.
8.) spray the second, and last of the deoderizing animal spray sprays onto the spot.
9.) Get new rinse water.
10.) Rinse the area for at least .. a long time, because if it's the least bit shiny when you are done then it must be sticky and you have done a shitty job of rinsing the pee area, because now whenever she steps on that spot her feet will stick to the floor so you had better rinse it for a long, long, long time, to cover your ass.
11.) leave the dog outside during all of this becaues the floor has to air-dry.
12.) let the dog in, and by this time she has gone in the river because she has been left outside for so long, so you have to go get a towel and a brush and clean her before she can come back in.

I really dont' know how my mom let me keep the puppy at her house. And it was her idea in the first place to do that. If that's what has to get done every time the dog pees on the floor, I kind of feel sorry for my dad. (because he's probably the one usually cleaning it up.) Anywho, if you are reading this Dad, becaues I know mom never does, sorry if you have to clean up the pee.

What else happened.. Oh yeah, Marnie, my co-worker, asked me once again, to date her creepy brother in law. I don't think they are getting the memo. I mean, I guess I am flattered that at least someone wants to date me... but when you're really weird and stalkerish it's kind of a turn off.
SPeaking of dating, I was taking care of this 350 pound, 'i'm on disability just because i chose not to do anything with my life except for let other people take care of me.' lady, and her sex offender husband was in the room with her along with one of his friends. I was getting her ready for her discharge, and her creepy sex offender husband's friend who is also homeless asked for my number, so we could you know, meet up sometime.

Sweet.


Well, I think I'm going to go walk outside... or sit outside.... maybe at starbucks, while I read this traithlon book. Bye!

nothing much....

Hmm.... the last couple days. I cut my hair. A whole lot. At least 6 inches are now off of it. My mom saw it and said, 'It looks... interesting... I mean.. o kay.. ' Great. My hair looks interesting. Then she offered to pay for me to go in and get it evened out. Hells no mom. I cut my own hair to save the 30 dollars it would cost to fix it. It's good I thought I did an o-k job. I guess I couldnt' really see the back... and I just cut approximately the same length around my head... and I added a few 'layers'.. aka mistakes. There are a lot of layers. When I went to work today though a girl I work with was all, ' I really like your haircut!' REALLY!!?? I did it myself. So, you know, if you see some pieces that don't look quite right just get a scissors and cut them off, or give me a little fyi. Cutting hair is kind of fun. I originally just planned on giving myself a trim, which was almost complete until I made a ginormous mistake. Then I had to cut much more off. I can still however, get it into a ponytail. It's just a little nubbin, but my one hairstyle is complete. All I have to do is wake-up, and instead of spending that extra 5 seconds gathering my hair into a ponytail, I can quick slick it up into a nubbin. Then spend 7 seconds picking out which pair of scrubs.. which are all the same... to wear. Pretty good morning routine.
This blog is pointless.
Oh yeah, I got some piano books I ordered off amazon.com today. Cool..... right. okay bye!

zoolander

Ever since I stepped on my zoolander dvd and broke it I've really been missing it. Even when I look at every day things I am reminded of random quotes from the movie. Like I was eating some cereal for breakfast a couple hours ago and the spoon was just lying there and I thought of:

'How did you know you wanted to be a male model?'
'Well, I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
-a career?
-'yeah, be professionally good looking.

or

Derek, are you worried about hansel?
-Not as much as I'm worried about Grettel.

or

'A male models life is a precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs, and stunning features, doesn't mean that we too, can't not die, in a freak, gasoline fight accident. '

or

'Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose ..or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? '


Gosh. Love it.

I don't love however, all of the advertisements that pop onto my screen or are on my email. Like hoodia weight loss plan pills. Hoodia probably isn't a plant. It's probably a made up substance. I remember I read about it on this one website because I wanted to see if it was just ground up meth, and or crack. Their description was something like this, (except a whole lot better ...)

"Hoodia is from this one cactus we found and ground up. Tribesman used to use it to stave off hunger on long hunting trips. It's been used by the antiquagoodle.. tribe.. for several centuries, and is ridiculously effective. Now you can try it free for 6 weeks... except this one dollar payment. So it's only a dollar for 6 weeks. Yeah. "

I could make my own weight loss substance. I could go scoop up some ORange fuzz algae by the river, a couple chipmunks, and maybe some herbs, smash it up and bake it. Then put it in a dehydrating machine until it gets real dry, then crush it up some more and pour it into some caplets and be all, ' This is the rare algae which only grows on the remants of the nearly extinct bobble headed gopher. The bobble headed gopher only eats fish from chemical plants, which are filled with weight loss substances like ... chromium .. and Goolia. ( a similar substance to hoodia, but 100x stronger in weight loss effects.) AFter the gopher dies, the chromium and goolia, (which are released through the gopher's hair follicles and skin cells,) are exactly what the Orange Fuzz algae diet consists of. The Orange algae feeds on the chromium and goolia, and turns these substances into what we like to call, lorthub. What we do, is take the orange fuzz algae, and chemically treat it to extract it and amplify the lorthub, which we call, thuborrhea.
What you get, is our 4 week sample of fiborrhea. Thuborrhea speeds up your digestion, up to 7x the normal speed. What does this do to you? A faster metabolism! You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. We also supply this 4 week sample of depends. If you are unsatisfied with this product, even after the 4 week trial period, just return your packaging for no extra charge.

Obviously, I am in a really weird mood right now. Maybe I'll take the dog for a walk.

why is it snowing? I'm pissed.

I'm pissed. April this year is a giant wang. It's pretty cool that the weekends I have off, it blizzards.. both times. That's not correct grammar, but I think you get the point. Anywho, I have been looking at other jobs online. I will probably not leave mine until after the summer, but I'm pretty sure the Air-Force won't accept my ICU work at brainerd. They want real ICU experience. So now I'm thinking whether or not I should do the Air Force at all... because after I switch jobs and then work at that ICU for a year... it will be 2 years from now.. then I have a four year commitment if I join the Air Force. I'll have to give this some more thought.
I started looking at jobs online. North Memorial has I think 13 different ICU positions open... as well as ER positions.. and Trauma Team positions. That would be amazing. I just want to be a float nurse between them all. I was also thinking that if I go on to school I could be a wound care nurse. I enjoy pus and oozing disgusting things... and picking skin. That's mostly what wound care nurses do. Amazing. That would be ridiculously awesome. I was also thinking that I could bring some more money typing up dictations. I can type 103 wpm, and I know they have a lot of typists that just work at home. I could do part-time and just work from 8-12 a couple days a week, then go to my regular job. I could probably just go to caribou and type up a bunch of dictations real quick, then go work out and go to work. AMazing. I am a genius. It would be even cooler if I could type up the dictations for ICU and Tele, that way I would know what's going on with my patients before I even got to work. Holllaaaaa.
I'm going to go and see if there are any positions open online . Schweet.

my manager is a poop hole

My manager keeps switching my schedule... you know.. only 2-3 days in advance. So basically if I don't check my schedule all of the time I will either be at work when I'm not supposed to be, or not be at work when I am supposed to be. (which is much more likely being I am currently working overtime..) She told me she changed my schedule around on wednesday... but I thought she meant the schedule that just came out, not the current one. She definitely meant the current one, And also the next one. Good thing I called staffing that following Friday, because they told me the lovely news that I had to be at work in 4 hours. Which was even more of a hassle because I was in Deer River at the time. Jerk manager. Maybe I should change her 8-4pm mon-thursday schedule around. What a dick.
Work wasn't very fun either. I sat with a one to one on the surgical floor, (2nd floor.) I have no idea when he was a one to one. Apparently he had woken up on nights and was confused. But he's 89 years old, and when you wake up in a dark room in a foreign place and don't know where you are for 5 minutes I would call that normal. I basically sat in his room with him while he slept. I had to give him a bunch of blood, and platelets, and plasma. Then respiratory therapy came in to give him a neb and they sat him up too fast and he projectile vomited all over. Everything. Me. The respiratory therapist, the bed, the equipment, his plasma... etc. you get the point. His projectile vomiting wasn't like a stream, it was like a fountain. It was really annoying because I gave him his blue vomiting bag as soon as he looked like he was going to throw up, and he holds it 10 inches from his face. That'll do a whole lot of good. I guess it did catch about 3 inches of the fountain spray. Then he was really angry the whole time. ' Leave me the hell alone!' Sorry asshole, I'm just trying to change your gown which is full of vomit. Would you rather have me just leave it? My bad. Then every time I hung a new blood product he would get really angry at me. DUde, you were the one that decided to crawl out of your wheel chair.. even though you dont' have legs, and you broke your hip. I'm just making it possible for you to go to surgery and get this fixed. It's cool though, you can yell and swear at me. It's not like he had to even do anything. He just lays there and lets it run through his IV. Apparently that's a ton of work and he's pissed about it. He either was sleeping, or angry. No nice medium.
Saturday however, was a little better. It was a busy crappy shift... I had to transfer a guy to st cloud, discharge a lady, one of my patients started circling the drain so I had to transfer him to ICu, then I got 2 admits. However... Admit boy brought them!!! Weeee! He's amazing. Brown hair smiley face mcgee. It doesn't matter if the patient he's bringing me is insane, because he's amazing. I actually talked to him. I said, Hi!. Then he said, Hi Annie. (he knows my name! WHat??? Hollaaaa) Then I took the patients stuff and while she was walking onto the scale I was all.... 'How's the ER?' and then he said, 'Busy.' WOah. I think that was probably one of our longest conversations yet. Seriously.
Then on Sunday, he brought up another patient. This really cute 90 year old lady. We put her in the bed and as soon as we both left the room she puts her call light on, so we walked back in thinking we would both need to bring her to the bathroom. Then she just says, ' Do you guys hear that beeping noise? What is that?' Ummm.... that's just your call light, you know, the one you turned on. haha. hilarious. I loved her. We explained it to her and she just goes... OOhhh! That was dumb of me.' Then he was gathering the stuff to leave, and I said, 'Thanks for the sweet patient!' He was like, ' No problem, there's more where that came from.'
Amazing. He is amazing. Except Jera this other girl that came on for night shift saw him leaving with the patient's cart to go back down to ER. After he left she said, ' Gosh, my sister met him the other day. She is convinced she is going to marry him.'
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'll kill her.
Then she continues on.
'He is just such a nice guy.'
I know. pbbbbbbb............. How depressing. There are probably 5,000 other people that like him too.. he could also have a girlfriend for all I know. As soon as I realize I have any competition I usually just give up. Which I planned on doing. (not that I had really tried.... I basically see him when he brings me patients...) Everyone I work with knows that I think he's cute and everyone always talks about it when I'm gone, and how they should 'hook us up.' Shannon, this lady I work with was like, 'LEts call ER and get his number!.' Then she picks up the phone like she's going to dial. It was funny. (She was obviously joking...) Then they all tell me they know all these people they can 'hook me up with.' Sorry guys, they aren't admit boy.
Nothing will ever happen of this, but oh well . At least sometimes I can see someone besides a middle aged woman when I get new patients. That's all for now.

getting fat

I have decided that I was much skinnier during that time when someone stole my computer. Without my computer, I have no entertainment source. Aka, I have nothing to eat and look at. I don't use the tv, so that's not so much a problem. But what I basically use this computer for is, (get ready for this important info..)

1. facebook every other day.
2. watching movies
3. occassional email check. (very occassional... like once a month.)
4. .. hmm.. that's it. Oh wait no, this blog that I am writing on right now.

So usually before I go to bed I watch a movie or part of a movie. Then what do I do while I watch that movie? Eat a sandwich, or some chocolate, or... who the hell else knows. Whatever I have in my house. Which is usually something random. I don't even necessarily have to be hungry. I don't think I ever am hungry. I guess I really only have one true talent, and that is eating. People always say, ' I could never eat that.' or 'Gosh, I am so full.' I don't think I have ever said these words. Or if I say, Gosh, I am so full, it's after I've already eaten 3,000 calories and am STILL eating. I do however say, ' I should probably stop eating now.' But then I keep eating.
I am also much more tired after working day shift. I am not someone who likes waking up at 5:30 am. When you wake up then, you should go to bed by at least 10, and I am not good at doing that either. Even if I do go to bed at 10pm, I am still ridiculously tired the next day. When I worked evenings I had tons of energy. I went to bed around 1:30 and got up around 9/9:30. Then I would wake up and drink coffee and work out and then come back and do something random for an hour or 2, like go on the internet, or go read at caribou, or clean. Then I worked and came back and went to bed. Now I get home from day shifts and I have no energy to do anything. I just sit on the couch and tell myself to do stuff. I think I am actually more tired after working day shifts than I am working night shifts. More tired= less energy=more laying=more watching movies=more eating=getting fatter. So maybe, if I broke this computer or someone stole it again I could take out a step in that process. Then since I would have nothing to do I would have to go workout, or read, or play piano. All which of are hard to do while you are eating something.
I wish I had a best friend anorexic, and she wanted to hang out ALL of the time. I would be all, 'I'm hungry.!' then she'd be like.. no you're not.. lets drink water! 'Okay ! Good Idea anorexic best friend.' Or, I could eat an apple, then we could split it and each have only 25 calories instead of 50.

I shouldnt' have started talking about food. I would really like a taco right now. Did you know I went to taco bell the other day, and I couldn't find my credit card right away, and the girl was like, ' don't worry about it.. you can just have it.' WHAT!? HAve this burrito1!?!? for FREE!?!?!? She's amazing. I love her. I also love burritos. That was a great day. I also love Ice cream.. although I have never gotten that for free, mostly because it is so good that I will pay for it every time. However, everything is put into proportion when compared to mcdonalds ice cream cones. For example, you could be buying a shirt, and the shirt could cost $24. That's 24 Mcdonald's ice cream cones. Do you really want that shirt? I wouldn't buy it. Especially if I did buy those 24 ice cream cones I probably would not want to see myself in the shirt, unless the shirt was an xxxxL. I basically eat ice cream everyday. There is a frozen yogurt ice cream thingy at work and everyday I make myself a cone. Everyday. It usually rounds out to be about 46 cents. Which I would save over time a bunch of money if I didn't eat ice cream.. or anything else.
That really makes me want to be an anorexic. You would save so much on food. Sweet Jesus.

Well, I am going to go do some drug test for ICU. Should be good. Maybe I'll go eat some food while I'm taking the test. Even better.

my eyes are burning

I am so tired my eyes are burning. My manager looked at me today and she goes...
' Annie.. you look tired.'

I am tired Kathy.

'I mean, you look really, REally, tired.'

I am really, really tired.

'I think I know what you need.'

what's that?

'Coffee!'

I think I got that covered.

Then there was some pharmacist guy sitting right next to me when she said this all and when she left he looks at me and says, ' you know, when people say you look really tired they are basically saying you look like crap.'
-hmm... yeah. I'm over it.
'well, I don't think you look like crap.'
Thanks. I don't think you look like crap either.

What a great day. What a great compliment. Probably one of the nicer things someone could say.
My patient was boring. His pH was altered so he wasn't really 'with it.' Which is another reason I enjoy ICU. People can't complain or make you get them stuff when they aren't conscious. It's actually pretty fun to talk to unconscious people. You can talk to them about anything, or just tell them random stuff. Like, ' I hope that they have chicken soup for lunch today.' or, 'Hey Fred, will you remind me to get your blood sugar around 11:30? .....? '
JUst KIDDING!! Maybe not that last one, but you get the point.

There was a meeting after work today, I was late, along with a couple other people that had to stay late to help with the transfers we were doing . Anyways, we got there and all of the important info about the vents and the bipaps was all done. ( we were only 15 minutes late..) When we got there, Kathy then stood up to say something to the extent of, : We aren't praying enough at meetings.' So, she read this really long prayer. Then she read this really long story about a guy who lived through a code blue. It was a really annoying story. It went something like this:
'Oh oh , the pain in my chest. Why isn't anybody helping with the pain in my chest!? All of you, stop talking, listen to me, the pain in my chest is unbearable. Don't put that on me, Ouch! Etc.. etc.. etc.. pain in his chest etc,.. etc.. etc.. annoying.
That took about 20 minutes, then she talked about how we should be reminded that when people are in a code situation to mind what we say, and that ' hearing is the last sense to go' when you are dying.
Okay crazy guy that wrote this story, obviously the people that were talking to eachother about what they were going to do to you next knew what they were doing, because you're alive now. So sit down and shut up. Of course your chest hurt. Maybe you should be so obese and smoke all of the time, then maybe you wouldn't have had this massive MI that put you into a code.
Apparently now we are all supposed to be calm and quiet, emphasis on the quiet part.
I was talking to one lady after the meeting and we were imitating what the new Code situations would be like.
'Ahem.... psst..... is everybody clear? Everybody clear? '

'mm hmm.... I'm charging the machine.'

'I'm clear your clear everybody's clear..'
-shocking-

Then there are 4 more people on the floor. Death by electrocution. Genius.
Maybe when the doctor asks them on admission if they want to be a full code he will also ask their favorite song. That way we can have it handy if they start dying and blast it on the stereo. I think if I were dying I'd try to pick a funny song in the background. Like something by the backstreet boys, or Raffi. ' A peanut butter sandwich made with jam, that's the best 'wich' that i've ever had is a peanut butter sandwich made with jam. yum yum yum yum yum!'
Or that one country song by montgomery gentry, 'gone like a freight train gone like yesterday gone like a soldier in the civil war bang bang.. etc.'

This blog is dumb. I'm real tired. Going to bed now. .. hopefully I will sleep this time.