angry

Hello everyone! I happened to be particularily angry today. The only thing that really makes me angry in fact is my old boyfriend. He makes me so angry I have to try to think of things that are funny to try to counteract the angryness. And lets face it, nothing is funnier than a fat person who carries all of their fat in one certain spot.
For example, what M. Boom just reminded me of, the fupa. Camel toe. The ginormous giner. I think it's hilarious when the person is slightly overweight, but for some reason the main storage area of their fat is their vagina. not even the vagina, the labias. Huge labias. hahaha. So funny. Sometimes I wonder, Is it just a fat lob over the gina? (Pronounced like va -'gina') by the way, never name your kid gina. She 's doomed for failure if you do. kind of like if you name your boy Larry he will probably end up with schizophrenia. Anyways, is it a fat lob over the vagina? Like just a roll? Or are some people's labias really THAT big? I wonder if there is a guiness book of world records for the biggest labias. If so, I bet that lady smells really bad. Especially between the labias. When really fat people come to the hospital, they can't reach to wipe themselves. So, Really fat people with huge gina's probably smell like a tuna factory on an especially hot humid day in alabama. Okay, that's gross. Changing the subject.
I got a bunch of phone calls today. Really random ones, and a bunch of messages. I thought I was really popular until I realized the only people that called me were:
-the cardiologist (2x)
-crazy old boyfriend leaving a threat message
-the blood bank lady

pbbbbbbbbb....... I also saw this girl I haven't seen from high school. which was also really really awkward and long.
Then I went to work because I thought I was supposed to work, but when I got there I realized I looked at the wrong day on the schedule and was actually off. That's the 2nd time that's happened. Idiot. So I went to starbucks to study some ACLS. Which I desperately needed to do. After studying that I went to target to pick up some cards for people. I would tell you what the cards said, but the people that are getting them are probably reading this, and then it would spoil the surprise. I did, however, get one for the cardiologist. He went to a lot of extra work calling this place a bunch of times to get my heart readings and crap, and spent about half an hour in the room with me, and then called my phone to update me on what was going on. In summary, he just did a bunch of nice things.
I was going to get him a thank you card, but I hate getting thank you cards. As this one guy says, What the hell do you write on the inside? (see front?) So I ended up getting a holiday greetings card thing and just writing thank you in that. I thought it would be funny to put some jokes on the card like , 'the worst time to have a heart attack is probably during a game of charades.. or a game of fake heart attack, followed by naps' I didn't do that though. I thought he would get creeped out.
The point of all this is that today I realized my true calling in life. I need to write greeting cards. That would be amazing. There should be greeting cards for every occassion. Wouldn't it be cool if you needed to break up with someone and all you had to do was go to the store and pick up a 'we need to break up ' card. It could be funny too. It could have a picture of a really fat guy and a little coat and just say, 'we just don't fit together.' Then there could be hate cards. Like a card that on the front says. 'I hate you.' and on the inside it just says, 'seriously. '
Or cards for a new haircut, ' The front could have some attractive person on it and the inside could say. 'Nice haircut. You look like a new person. I mean, not that you were ugly before. ...'
Or just cards that are just weird. You could put a mirror on the front of the card, and on the inside it could say. here comes a winner. I'm looking forward to my new career. Awesome