Today

I think I'm the most awkward person on earth. No contest. Anyone reading this is probably finally giving me a standing ovation. "Way to go Annie, it took you this long but at least you Finally figured it out." I think the main problem is that I don't care what people think about me... at all. Which is actually a terrible thing. Some people wish they didn't care so much. A lot of my friends, for example, will dress normally or try to look nice. When really, you might as well just translate nice into uncomfortable. Usually, the nicer something looks the more uncomfortable it is. Which is why I mainly wear things in 1-3x, with elastic waistbands, or just scrubs. Lets just say I'm waiting for the 80's to come back in style. Ginormous sweatshirts and spandex pants. That was a long paragraph about nothing.
Anyways, my point is, is that I don't really think about what other people will think, or the consequences of anything. I feel too comfortable around everyone and treat them like I've known them my whole life. When in reality, it's been about 3 seconds. The only real reason I do anything/say anything/think anything is because it might be funny. Laughing at things is really my only determinant in doing anything.
Sometimes it's fine. Like, when you are on a 1-1 with an alcohol withdrawal patient for 8 hours. ( or any other person that doesn't really know what's going on.) Instead of going crazy watching them for 8 hours you decide to have a little fun with the situation. I started it off by asking a few questions, the conversation went something like this: " Hey Troy! Whatcha doin?"
" @*#&@* trying to get out of bed. Can you get me a knife and cut this?"
(meanwhile he's bouncing all around and sweating trying to unleash his 4 pt restraints)
"Ooo... I don't think so. Sorry. I bet those restraints are really hard to get out of."
"@*#% yeah, they are. Do you have a scissors?"
"No I don't, but I was just wondering, Troy, What's your favorite color?"
(he's all swearing, sweating, squirming around) "It depends..... I guess I like brown, but sometimes I like blue better."

It pretty much turned the 8 hours into a hilarious 8 hours. We played some hang man, flipped through channels. But after his 60 something-ith mg of ativan he decided it was time for a rest.
I don't even know if that's really an appropriate thing to do, but nobody got hurt, and it wasn't awkward because he didn't really even know what was going on.
The times that not caring about what other people think get in the way, are at the following times:
-on a date
-at work
-at school
-Or you know, talking... to anyone. anywhere.
I would really like to continue this long stupid blog, but I think I might go to bed instead. bye!