Today I had a day off. (i know.. WHATT!?!? SWEET!?!) well, not exactly off, I had 5 hours of education computer crap to go to. Which during I just drew on stuff and made fun of my down syndrome computer that kept shutting itself down. All in all a good time.
Being my day off, I listened to the radio. I know what you're thinking. wyman, you're a loser. well, you're right! I thought it was entertaining. There are a few select radio stations in brainerd. Religious, 2 old country stations, one newer country station, the mpr junk, and a fuzzy ghetto station. the fuzzy ghetto station is usually the most entertaining. I like to guess what the next words will be. Everything is a simple rhyme, usually involving sex, money, booze, dancing at 'da club', sex, or guns,.or sex. All great topics. oh yes, and they usually say their name about 500 times during the song. So if they don't know what to do, they just kind of let the background beat go and say like, 'this is p diddy, p diddy you ready for this.. p diddy. yeahh yeah. p diddy. But back to the rhymes,133
For example, if they say, "Girl you get low...
it's almost a sure thing the next thing will be' somethign something ho'
like, i know you aint no ho. Maybe they could switch it up like, 'give me a good show'
In my spare time, I decided to write my own rap. I'll make sure to give 50 cent or eminem a ring after I've finished all of the editing. (you know, to perfect it.)
Rap-dizzle fo shizzle nizzle .. (edited version)
By; a wyman
Heyyoooooooooooo
It goes a lil' sumthin like dis
money in my pocket
ridin in the lac
I be in the back
stick your fingers in a socket
ya'll can't stop me now
haters
Who's that #*"@(##!)*3?
I got that
you want that
we at the club
rollin on dubs
@#*($"& dancin
bring out the guns
.. attilla the hun...
heyo niggas got shot
wooo boy that @#*("7 hot
This aint no rap song
dis is my life
survivin the streets
get down to dat beat
I'm a real G
disobeyin the law
hear my southern drawl
Throw your hands in the air
I give yo a$$ a stare
It's like dat
A wy in the house , with a bat
hit me. hit me
Y'all can't stop me now.
hhhaaatteeerrsssss.
We do what we do
get down on tha' floor
is that ho on the pole?
drop it down slow
she my main goal
I got what you need
mm mm right baby that's speed
hey shorty go 'head
it's whole wheat bread
mm hmm that's right
a wy a wy. a wy.
Money in my pocket
a wy a wy a wy a wy
Don't stop til the cops come
a wy a wy. a wy.
I like em thick and juicy.
a wy a wy a wy.
she is Wearing dem jeans.
a wy
so that's what I have so far. I also need to think of a refrain. If I can't think of one I'll just say the same phrase over and o ver again like, 'Lets run, have fun, raise hell, it's swell.' I guess really anything would work. Feel free to edit it yourself, I need the advice if I want to go pro-rap-star.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
?
So today at work I got floated down to the ER, there was this guy that hadn't pooped for.. oh, I don't know, 10 days or something. Anyways, first I gave him a suppository, no success. Then an enema. Again. nothing. then the doctor comes in and says he wants to try to digitally remove the poo. Um.. okay. that's fine. Except this patient was fairly large, and the doctor couldn't get to the butthole so I had to hold his buttcheeks open. Meanwhile I was just thinking... please don't poo in my face... please don't poo in my face. so the doctor tries for a couple minutes digging around in there. Nothing is really happening, so the doctor goes to get some sort of vaccuum thing, when he comes back, right before he puts it in the guy decides that that's the right moment. And as we all know, enema poo is not solid. not at all solid. it's a stream. a forceful stream of feces spray, that went all over in my hair. Good thing it came out in bursts because that first little burst was not anything as gross as what happened next. All of this liquidy spray was spraying/dribbling out. At a time like that, what the hell do you do? (besides wash your hair..) So I just started laughing. I think the doctor thought it was funny too, and he was also probably glad that he was the one who didnt' get poo'd on. I got to go shower my head in the sink and go home an hour early. (Sweet!) maybe I should get my head pooped on more often.
That was really the most interesting thing that happened today.. I read some stuff about cardiac rhythms.. which was also exciting as all hell. Oh, nope my bad, I can add to the awkwardness. I almost forgot. so on the way home, I'm making a right turn at this stopsign. I made the turn, but apparently I didn't 'stop all the way before I turned' (...weird..) I dont' really plan on stopping all the way when it's midnight and i'm on a residential 4-way in brainerd mn. Anyways, there just happened to be a cop in the area who pulled me over. Not right away though. He waited for about .. mmm... a mile of following me around before he pulled me over. Why do cops do that? Every single time I've been pulled over that's how it's been. So just when you think you're in the clear, you're actually screwed. I'm pretty sure this cop thought I had some sort of psych illness. he pulls me over and my head is dripping wet. I handed him my license. He just asks, ' Do you know why I pulled you ov er? '
Actually no, I was going 34. Was I 4 miles over the speed limit?'
No. At that stop sign back there you didnt' signal.
Oh. I thought I signaled.
No. You didn't. you have to signal.
Well. I see your point. .....
Why is your hair wet?
A patient pooped on my head.
What ? Where do you work?
St. Joe's.
what do you do there?
nurse
Really?
( um no, I was just walking through as a candy striper and some asshole pooped on my head.) Yes. Here's my license.
Do you have insurance?
somewhere. (meanwhile looking.... still lookingg.... stilll.... )
I'll go check this out and come back and see if you've found it by then.
okay.
(still looking.....)
(He comes back...)
Well, I think i'm gonna just let you go.
I FOUND IT!! (hand him the card.)
Um, yeah, actually, this expired in february.
..... oh..
Where do you live?
Oh you know. over in that direction, in green wood. oh crap, nope, fawn.. something apartments.
on cypress?
cypress?
That road, that is right there....
Oh, yup. that's the one. that's where I live.. right there, on that road.. cypress.
Alright well I'll let you go here. Hope your night gets better.
Word.
What was that?
nothing! bye!
Real good times. Lovin life over here. A + all around. Found out I actually work tomorrow too. I was really looking forward to a day off. Too bad.
That was really the most interesting thing that happened today.. I read some stuff about cardiac rhythms.. which was also exciting as all hell. Oh, nope my bad, I can add to the awkwardness. I almost forgot. so on the way home, I'm making a right turn at this stopsign. I made the turn, but apparently I didn't 'stop all the way before I turned' (...weird..) I dont' really plan on stopping all the way when it's midnight and i'm on a residential 4-way in brainerd mn. Anyways, there just happened to be a cop in the area who pulled me over. Not right away though. He waited for about .. mmm... a mile of following me around before he pulled me over. Why do cops do that? Every single time I've been pulled over that's how it's been. So just when you think you're in the clear, you're actually screwed. I'm pretty sure this cop thought I had some sort of psych illness. he pulls me over and my head is dripping wet. I handed him my license. He just asks, ' Do you know why I pulled you ov er? '
Actually no, I was going 34. Was I 4 miles over the speed limit?'
No. At that stop sign back there you didnt' signal.
Oh. I thought I signaled.
No. You didn't. you have to signal.
Well. I see your point. .....
Why is your hair wet?
A patient pooped on my head.
What ? Where do you work?
St. Joe's.
what do you do there?
nurse
Really?
( um no, I was just walking through as a candy striper and some asshole pooped on my head.) Yes. Here's my license.
Do you have insurance?
somewhere. (meanwhile looking.... still lookingg.... stilll.... )
I'll go check this out and come back and see if you've found it by then.
okay.
(still looking.....)
(He comes back...)
Well, I think i'm gonna just let you go.
I FOUND IT!! (hand him the card.)
Um, yeah, actually, this expired in february.
..... oh..
Where do you live?
Oh you know. over in that direction, in green wood. oh crap, nope, fawn.. something apartments.
on cypress?
cypress?
That road, that is right there....
Oh, yup. that's the one. that's where I live.. right there, on that road.. cypress.
Alright well I'll let you go here. Hope your night gets better.
Word.
What was that?
nothing! bye!
Real good times. Lovin life over here. A + all around. Found out I actually work tomorrow too. I was really looking forward to a day off. Too bad.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
everyone in the hospital is a baby and should have probably went to a day spa instead of the telemetry unit.
I officially hate everyone. Okay, maybe not hate, but strongly dislike the patients in rooms 19 18, 8 and 6. Here was my report to the charge nurse about what meds I gave the lady in room 8.
"Everything but aspirin.'
yes. REally. EVERYTHING. This is what she thought was wrong with her.
1. MI
2. gallbladder problem
3. hiatal hernia
4. crohn's disease
5. Bleeding ulcers
6. kidney failure
7. Pulmonary emboli
8. TIA
Not kidding. She put her light on every 3 seconds with 'shooting pains'. At one point she was crying smashing her ginormous DDD boobs togethor saying it was the only way to 'stop the pain.' Too bad that morphine maalox tylenol vicodin more morphine toradol or protonix didn't work. Neither did 3 nitros. Well, my bad, the nitro's did 'help' but only bringing her 12/10 pain down to an 8/10. Have I mentioned yet that she was 42? I should have said, here, I'll put an NG tube down your nose and into your stomach and put it on suction. Then I can stick a rectal tube in you to get the gas out. While we're at it i'll put a foley in, what the hell eh? Then I can put in a couple of 14 gauge needles, you know, just incase we need the access. You know what, lets just skip the iv's and go straight to the central line. Why not have a tube going straight into your heart? I mean, it's for the better. i'll also call up RT and we can get you on a ventilator. OOoo... we might as well make you a tracheostomy, that way if you choke on your cheetos we'll have a back up hole. Then I'll just bring the crash cart in here by your door. dont' worry, i'll put the defibrillator pads on now, that way it will save 10 seconds when you actually start h aving your mi. I'll start a nitro drip. Oh yes, and Here's some more maalox, bitch.
Too bad i never did that. One of my other patients had a temp of 103.4. you know, ridiculously high. His 'friend' is in there, not wife, friend. He had 5 blankets on and was pretty much producing more heat than ... something that would be really hot. So I take his blankets off, explaining to his friend the situation. I had already given him tylenol and it didnt' help. (he's pretty much ou t of it by the way..) He was on 3 different IV antibiotics, so all I coudl do really was cool him down. I left the sheet on him and put a cool rag on his forehead and a fan blowing on him on low. I came back in 20 minutes later to see how he was doing and his friend had put all the blankets back on and covered him in pillows. ...
'umm.... why are all of those blankets back on him?'
' he just gets so cold.'
'did he say he was cold? '
'no, b ut in the nursing home he usually is cold.'
'his temp is 103.4... we really need to get his temperature down. The tylenol isn't helping yet, and he's already on antibiotics.. IT's not good for his brain if it gets higher... ''
This is the best part. Then she starts crying that i'm cruel and not taking into account how he feels.
Alright, straight up crazy face, your friend here is hot. REALLY HOT. feel his body. When you put your hand in his armpit it feels like it's in a cauldron. GET IT? I DON't THINK HE IS COLD. Once again,didn't exactly say that. The charge nurse must have heard her ranting and came over and explained again what I had just said. to her. Then she just left crying and shaking her hands saying we were too lazy to call the doctor, and that she'd just have to pray, and 'leave it up to god.'
yes. good idea. I mean, why do we even have hospitals? All nurses like to do is give people ativan until they are too tired and drowsy to move. That way they can just lay in bed all day getting skin ulcers and we can sit around and eat cookies and play games.
After crazy mcgee left, and I could cool down cauldron pits, he woke up and started to try to crawl out of bed. Then his bed alarm was going off every 5 minutes. Which is the highest pitched thing ever. and reeaaallly loud. you could probably stand 1,000 feet away and still hear it. Pretty sure you can. I mean, if you are goign to design a bed alarm, at least make it play something nice. you already know when it goes off you're going to have to try to get someone back into bed, and they will be ornary and confused. you're not looking forward to going into the room, and then having that horrible noise really makes it much worse. Why can't they make bed alarms that play something nice , like 'honey ... da da da da da da... oh suga suga.. da da da da da da.' or somethign funny, like the monster mash. (it's a graveyard smash..)
Anyways, so I go in there because his bed alARM is going off for the thousandth time, and this time there is blood everywhere, because he had been trying to pull out his foley.
dammit joe. I told you not to pull on that string... but you HAd to do it. you HAd to see what would happen. Now look what you've done. Now you're hemoglobin is probably even lower, and i'll have to transfuse you. What a mess you've made. What a mess.
Then another one of my patients, this awkward old sexual man, (the worst kind.) had his glass eye weirdo son in the room. He tried to get me to date his son. Alright, look old frail 'i h ave to empty your urinal every half hour' man, I don't want to date glass eye over here. What if he's coughing and i hit him on the back and his eye pops out? I don't need that in my life. I'm too busy. Sweet.
I'm too tired to remember why i disliked my other patient. Oh yeah, he was very capable of getting up to use the commode, but just kept deciding that he'd go in the bed. He was also very able to get up and walk into the shower to wash himself off, but instead i had to give him about 29 bed baths to wash off all the fecal matter.
All in all, great day. But thanks for the letter gramps! I'll frame the picture!!
word
"Everything but aspirin.'
yes. REally. EVERYTHING. This is what she thought was wrong with her.
1. MI
2. gallbladder problem
3. hiatal hernia
4. crohn's disease
5. Bleeding ulcers
6. kidney failure
7. Pulmonary emboli
8. TIA
Not kidding. She put her light on every 3 seconds with 'shooting pains'. At one point she was crying smashing her ginormous DDD boobs togethor saying it was the only way to 'stop the pain.' Too bad that morphine maalox tylenol vicodin more morphine toradol or protonix didn't work. Neither did 3 nitros. Well, my bad, the nitro's did 'help' but only bringing her 12/10 pain down to an 8/10. Have I mentioned yet that she was 42? I should have said, here, I'll put an NG tube down your nose and into your stomach and put it on suction. Then I can stick a rectal tube in you to get the gas out. While we're at it i'll put a foley in, what the hell eh? Then I can put in a couple of 14 gauge needles, you know, just incase we need the access. You know what, lets just skip the iv's and go straight to the central line. Why not have a tube going straight into your heart? I mean, it's for the better. i'll also call up RT and we can get you on a ventilator. OOoo... we might as well make you a tracheostomy, that way if you choke on your cheetos we'll have a back up hole. Then I'll just bring the crash cart in here by your door. dont' worry, i'll put the defibrillator pads on now, that way it will save 10 seconds when you actually start h aving your mi. I'll start a nitro drip. Oh yes, and Here's some more maalox, bitch.
Too bad i never did that. One of my other patients had a temp of 103.4. you know, ridiculously high. His 'friend' is in there, not wife, friend. He had 5 blankets on and was pretty much producing more heat than ... something that would be really hot. So I take his blankets off, explaining to his friend the situation. I had already given him tylenol and it didnt' help. (he's pretty much ou t of it by the way..) He was on 3 different IV antibiotics, so all I coudl do really was cool him down. I left the sheet on him and put a cool rag on his forehead and a fan blowing on him on low. I came back in 20 minutes later to see how he was doing and his friend had put all the blankets back on and covered him in pillows. ...
'umm.... why are all of those blankets back on him?'
' he just gets so cold.'
'did he say he was cold? '
'no, b ut in the nursing home he usually is cold.'
'his temp is 103.4... we really need to get his temperature down. The tylenol isn't helping yet, and he's already on antibiotics.. IT's not good for his brain if it gets higher... ''
This is the best part. Then she starts crying that i'm cruel and not taking into account how he feels.
Alright, straight up crazy face, your friend here is hot. REALLY HOT. feel his body. When you put your hand in his armpit it feels like it's in a cauldron. GET IT? I DON't THINK HE IS COLD. Once again,didn't exactly say that. The charge nurse must have heard her ranting and came over and explained again what I had just said. to her. Then she just left crying and shaking her hands saying we were too lazy to call the doctor, and that she'd just have to pray, and 'leave it up to god.'
yes. good idea. I mean, why do we even have hospitals? All nurses like to do is give people ativan until they are too tired and drowsy to move. That way they can just lay in bed all day getting skin ulcers and we can sit around and eat cookies and play games.
After crazy mcgee left, and I could cool down cauldron pits, he woke up and started to try to crawl out of bed. Then his bed alarm was going off every 5 minutes. Which is the highest pitched thing ever. and reeaaallly loud. you could probably stand 1,000 feet away and still hear it. Pretty sure you can. I mean, if you are goign to design a bed alarm, at least make it play something nice. you already know when it goes off you're going to have to try to get someone back into bed, and they will be ornary and confused. you're not looking forward to going into the room, and then having that horrible noise really makes it much worse. Why can't they make bed alarms that play something nice , like 'honey ... da da da da da da... oh suga suga.. da da da da da da.' or somethign funny, like the monster mash. (it's a graveyard smash..)
Anyways, so I go in there because his bed alARM is going off for the thousandth time, and this time there is blood everywhere, because he had been trying to pull out his foley.
dammit joe. I told you not to pull on that string... but you HAd to do it. you HAd to see what would happen. Now look what you've done. Now you're hemoglobin is probably even lower, and i'll have to transfuse you. What a mess you've made. What a mess.
Then another one of my patients, this awkward old sexual man, (the worst kind.) had his glass eye weirdo son in the room. He tried to get me to date his son. Alright, look old frail 'i h ave to empty your urinal every half hour' man, I don't want to date glass eye over here. What if he's coughing and i hit him on the back and his eye pops out? I don't need that in my life. I'm too busy. Sweet.
I'm too tired to remember why i disliked my other patient. Oh yeah, he was very capable of getting up to use the commode, but just kept deciding that he'd go in the bed. He was also very able to get up and walk into the shower to wash himself off, but instead i had to give him about 29 bed baths to wash off all the fecal matter.
All in all, great day. But thanks for the letter gramps! I'll frame the picture!!
word
Saturday, October 13, 2007
lazy
Sorry about not writing on this blog for a while. I've just been too lazy to sign on to the internet. Which is pathetic. I look at the laptop on the floor and just think.. do I really want to open you up? and then have to click on the internet and move the mouse around? mmmm... not really. Rather save my energy for sleeping. Which I have been doing quite a lot of the last couple days. I don't know if I'm still sick.. but I will go to bed at about 1am after work, then wake up at like 4 am and 7am ish to get some water or pee or whatever, then the next time I wake up is about 11:30-1:00. I know. Unreal. Literally all I do is work and sleep, which wouldn't be the case if I didnt' sleep for 12 hours. haha. Today at work my eyes were all red and everyone thought I was having an allergic reaction to something I ate. Nope. Just tired! Only got 9 hours of sleep last night instead of my usual 11. Pathetic? Yes. Yes it is. I think i'm going to start setting my alarm clock for 10:30. That'll be good. You all probably think it's pathetic that I have to set my alarm for 10:30. Tha's fine. But really... if you switch the hours around... that's like going to bed at 10 and waking up at 7:30? Yeah.. nevermind. That's still a lot of sleeping.
Nothing really interesting happening here. I think it's getting to the point where nothing surprises me anymore. I could probably walk into a patients room and find shit all over the floor and see them drinking out of the toiilet and just be like, 'so, when did the loose stools start?' and just start listening to their lungs. This one guy who's 90-something won't get out of bed and only lets me turn him slightly onto either side. His urinal has to constantly be in place, and he uses a whole kleenex blox to blot his pee all day long. I'll go into check his urinal every 2 hours or so and turn him and when I empty the urinal there is literally one hundred kleenex in there and a little dribble of pee at the bottom. One of my co-workers was like, 'make sure you wring out the kleenex's so you can get an accurate out put! ' haha. funny. roxanne. although it was. He also likes to have his entire body slathered with vicks vapo -rub before he goes to bed. not kidding. It's hilarious. He always complains that I have to turn him on his side and I told him today we have to turn him so he doesn't get bed sores. Then I added in, 'because I don't think vick's can help those.' and he just looks me straight in the eye and sais, 'helll yes it will.' I think he was confused. mostly because he's confused every 20 minutes. I'll walk in and he will say something like, 'what the hell is happening? Why did this room change? There used to be bricks on these walls and cement floors. What in gods name have you done? ? ' Then you reorient him and 20 minutes later. ' Are we at the hotel?' Real good times. I just empty his kleenex urine and turn him and re-orient him. Alll in all, it's a good time. Wow. I think I just smelled my feet. They smell real bad. Reeeaal bad.
Which reminds me of another funny thing. I went running the other night after work because I had a lot of energy for some reason, then I got back and was too lazy to shower, so I slept on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night and was like, damn, I shouldn't have left the window open, there must be a skunk outside. Actually turns out my arm was up and I was just smelling my own armpit. then i laughed for a long time , you know, to myself. Pretty cool.
Today at work roxanne asked me what I do in my free time. Well roxanne, that's a very good question. ... .. I pretty much exercise. and sleep. Sometimes I don't have time for exercising because I sleep too long. lol. Wow. My life is pathetic. then she asked me what I do for exercise. Oh you know, pretty much everything imaginable. Run, walk, rollerblade, bike, ski, swim. Oh, well, I do also have a jump-rope and an exercise ball and some resistance bands. I just bought the billy blanks tae-bo/kickboxing series of dvd's. All 6 of them. Great stuff. I also have this really weird Pilates collection from the dollar store. But it's pilates for the 'very advanced' so It's mostly things like lay on your shoulders and stick your legs straight up into the air, then move your arms and legs around in these certain ways without falling over. In basis, I basically end up doing a whole bunch of backwards somersaults. Oh yes, i also like to read books about health, and other nerdy type things like pathophysiology or finance/history. You know. That just about covers it. Wait, wait. I have a fish. One fish. The bottom feeder is still alive in my tank.
Speaking of, I better get going to I can do some stuff. I keep putting off my chores, like.. putting this orange peel in the garbage. Possibly showering. O.k. Good night!
Nothing really interesting happening here. I think it's getting to the point where nothing surprises me anymore. I could probably walk into a patients room and find shit all over the floor and see them drinking out of the toiilet and just be like, 'so, when did the loose stools start?' and just start listening to their lungs. This one guy who's 90-something won't get out of bed and only lets me turn him slightly onto either side. His urinal has to constantly be in place, and he uses a whole kleenex blox to blot his pee all day long. I'll go into check his urinal every 2 hours or so and turn him and when I empty the urinal there is literally one hundred kleenex in there and a little dribble of pee at the bottom. One of my co-workers was like, 'make sure you wring out the kleenex's so you can get an accurate out put! ' haha. funny. roxanne. although it was. He also likes to have his entire body slathered with vicks vapo -rub before he goes to bed. not kidding. It's hilarious. He always complains that I have to turn him on his side and I told him today we have to turn him so he doesn't get bed sores. Then I added in, 'because I don't think vick's can help those.' and he just looks me straight in the eye and sais, 'helll yes it will.' I think he was confused. mostly because he's confused every 20 minutes. I'll walk in and he will say something like, 'what the hell is happening? Why did this room change? There used to be bricks on these walls and cement floors. What in gods name have you done? ? ' Then you reorient him and 20 minutes later. ' Are we at the hotel?' Real good times. I just empty his kleenex urine and turn him and re-orient him. Alll in all, it's a good time. Wow. I think I just smelled my feet. They smell real bad. Reeeaal bad.
Which reminds me of another funny thing. I went running the other night after work because I had a lot of energy for some reason, then I got back and was too lazy to shower, so I slept on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night and was like, damn, I shouldn't have left the window open, there must be a skunk outside. Actually turns out my arm was up and I was just smelling my own armpit. then i laughed for a long time , you know, to myself. Pretty cool.
Today at work roxanne asked me what I do in my free time. Well roxanne, that's a very good question. ... .. I pretty much exercise. and sleep. Sometimes I don't have time for exercising because I sleep too long. lol. Wow. My life is pathetic. then she asked me what I do for exercise. Oh you know, pretty much everything imaginable. Run, walk, rollerblade, bike, ski, swim. Oh, well, I do also have a jump-rope and an exercise ball and some resistance bands. I just bought the billy blanks tae-bo/kickboxing series of dvd's. All 6 of them. Great stuff. I also have this really weird Pilates collection from the dollar store. But it's pilates for the 'very advanced' so It's mostly things like lay on your shoulders and stick your legs straight up into the air, then move your arms and legs around in these certain ways without falling over. In basis, I basically end up doing a whole bunch of backwards somersaults. Oh yes, i also like to read books about health, and other nerdy type things like pathophysiology or finance/history. You know. That just about covers it. Wait, wait. I have a fish. One fish. The bottom feeder is still alive in my tank.
Speaking of, I better get going to I can do some stuff. I keep putting off my chores, like.. putting this orange peel in the garbage. Possibly showering. O.k. Good night!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Little Angies
The past couple days that I had off I went to Duluth to see Julia aka, little, aka Sarah/Mike's kid, and also visit some friends I haven't seen in months. It was an all around good time. I went out to Little Angies, a mexican grill/bar place with a couple of friends. We met there around 9:30 and everything was going fine, until about 10:00. That's when two older men wearing suit coats and ties and stuff walked past our table. As it turned out, they were two investment bankers from new york. We found that out after they came to our table and bought us drinks. It's cool. They were 50. One of them was especially creepy and had red hair, ( red hair kind of creeps me out.. ) anyways, he kept making me feel his bicep. Really ... great...... It was fine the first couple of times but he just kept putting it out there. "Yeah.. feel this! " He kept asking me to arm wrestle him. I mean look, 50+ year old new york investment banker, you're obviously going to beat me in this arm wrestle, so lets just save ourselves the trouble, and NOt do this. But he really needed to arm wrestle I guess, so I arm wrestled him. And lost. Weird. I should have been like, 'what's up homey!? lets have a sit up contest, or a sit and reach contest, I 'll kick your ass!' But I didn't. If that wasn't enough he got off on this tangent about how he thinks his daughter (who is my age..) is a lesbian. He doesn't know for sure if she's a lesbian, but she's going to an all girls school.. (So i guess in his mind, she Must be a lesbian.) The best thing he said all night was probably this, "I mean I guess it's kind of like a compliment to me. She sees how great and successful I am, and I like girls, and I think she wants to be like me, and like girl's too." Yes. That's usually why people are lesbians. They want to be like their dad, and like girls. So true.
A bunch of other stuff happened, but I can't type it out because it hurts too much to type. It even hurts to move my eyes around. I got this virus from julia that basically makes you feel like you got beat up by a bunch of gangsters with bats, and run over by a truck, with a soar throat and some breathing troubles and a temp of 103.
I went to Target to get some more tylenol, because I can't stop sweating. Then all my hair sticks to my face because I'm sweaty. So I put this ridiculous looking polka dotted scarf thing on my head. I guess when people saw me they probably thought to themselves, 'mmm... I guess she's going for the cancer patient look today.' Anyways, on my way to target I realized that i really, really needed gas. So I stopped in to the holiday on the way. I was pulling in to one of the gas thingies, when this guy in a truck with a motorhome attatched gave me this look like, 'I was going to go to that gas pump.' I thought I'd be nice and move my car to a different pump, but I guess I wasn't watching very closely ( I take that back, not watching at all because it hurt to turn my head) the point is, I ran into the metal thing on the end of the pump. Not the actual pump itself, but those pointless metal things that look like horseshoes coming out of the cement block. yeah. woops. Definitely wrecked the side of my car, but it's okay, because it was the side that already had a bunch of dents on the back and rust and holes. Now the plastic thing that was on the door is now gone. Oh well. I'm over it.
Getting into minor car accidents like that always makes me think of getting into major ones. I don't really think about dying in a car accident, or the damage that would be done, I always think about the visit to the ER. Not even getting treated in the ER, just the fact that you'd be pretty out of it and they would have to undress you when you got in. What if you decided not to wear underwear that day? Or the ugliest pair of underwear that you own? Or that you hadn't shaved in 3 weeks. Or washed your hair in two days? You know you'd get made fun of while you were unconscious. So if nothing else, my new motivation to look nice is : -just incase I get into a horrible car accident, I will be showered within the past 48 hours, have clean clothes on, cute underwear on, and will have shaved within the past week.
Wow, looking back at that it really makes me sound like a disgusting person. Those requirements are pretty do-able, and I actually have to strive to make them happen. Well, I think I'm going to go watch a movie and eat some more tylenol now. good stuff.
A bunch of other stuff happened, but I can't type it out because it hurts too much to type. It even hurts to move my eyes around. I got this virus from julia that basically makes you feel like you got beat up by a bunch of gangsters with bats, and run over by a truck, with a soar throat and some breathing troubles and a temp of 103.
I went to Target to get some more tylenol, because I can't stop sweating. Then all my hair sticks to my face because I'm sweaty. So I put this ridiculous looking polka dotted scarf thing on my head. I guess when people saw me they probably thought to themselves, 'mmm... I guess she's going for the cancer patient look today.' Anyways, on my way to target I realized that i really, really needed gas. So I stopped in to the holiday on the way. I was pulling in to one of the gas thingies, when this guy in a truck with a motorhome attatched gave me this look like, 'I was going to go to that gas pump.' I thought I'd be nice and move my car to a different pump, but I guess I wasn't watching very closely ( I take that back, not watching at all because it hurt to turn my head) the point is, I ran into the metal thing on the end of the pump. Not the actual pump itself, but those pointless metal things that look like horseshoes coming out of the cement block. yeah. woops. Definitely wrecked the side of my car, but it's okay, because it was the side that already had a bunch of dents on the back and rust and holes. Now the plastic thing that was on the door is now gone. Oh well. I'm over it.
Getting into minor car accidents like that always makes me think of getting into major ones. I don't really think about dying in a car accident, or the damage that would be done, I always think about the visit to the ER. Not even getting treated in the ER, just the fact that you'd be pretty out of it and they would have to undress you when you got in. What if you decided not to wear underwear that day? Or the ugliest pair of underwear that you own? Or that you hadn't shaved in 3 weeks. Or washed your hair in two days? You know you'd get made fun of while you were unconscious. So if nothing else, my new motivation to look nice is : -just incase I get into a horrible car accident, I will be showered within the past 48 hours, have clean clothes on, cute underwear on, and will have shaved within the past week.
Wow, looking back at that it really makes me sound like a disgusting person. Those requirements are pretty do-able, and I actually have to strive to make them happen. Well, I think I'm going to go watch a movie and eat some more tylenol now. good stuff.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
nightmares
I just woke up from a nightmare and am too lazy to go back to sleep. (is that even possible by the way?) that's not what I meant. I got that from megan boom. That used to be her answer to everything. maybe it still is. I remember I used it for my piano teacher once. She wasn't very impressed. 'Annie, I want you to learn up to the next page on this song." -mmmm... that's not going to work out. 'why?' -eh, to lazy. notice now I only said I used it once. I guess I just wanted to see what she'd do. or maybe I really was just too lazy to do it.
you know when you wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, and you're all sweaty and disoriented and scared. I thought I'd do something to take my mind off of that, and the commputer was sitting right here....
Anyways, I woke up from this nightmare that I had about nursing. Yeah, I know. Cool. Apparently, I wasn't descriptive enough in my 'nurses notes' about something and the hospital was getting sued. So I was locked in the room with a glass door and a bed and my old english teacher, ryan v. was standing at the door. I kept asking him if I could leave, and he said no. Not until the case is over, and if the hospital gets sued you're fired. Alright, so when you write it out it sounds stupid as hell...
Not to mention nursing notes are also stupid as hell. We already chart on 4 different things on the computer, and 8 different sheets on a clipboard about them each shift, but no, we have to write a note about them too. Which is fine if something bad happens, or out of the ordinary. The problem is you have to write at least one note per shift. So if the patient just slept the whole shift, you still have to write a note about them.. So, unless something is out of the ordinary I usually just write about 3 sentences. Something like, Pt. vitals stable. Denies pain. Resting in bed with eyes closed. Will continue to monitor. ' then sign. Apparently that's not enough. I think I had this nightmare because I was reading some of the other people's notes. They basically re-state everything they have written in other places. Like they will write down the exact vitals, and where their IV is, what's running, etc. It turns out to be a page long ( of you know, the assessment that you've already charted in the computer.)
I think it will be funny when I go back to work on friday, and write a huge story about each of my patients. Or maybe just one. It could be something like this. (Nobody reads these anyways, so it will be like a joke to myself)
10-6-07 2230 Shift
Patient in room 3005 on Telemetry floor in brainerd hospital, MN zip code 56401. Their hair is brown, but not too dark brown, maybe more of a light auburn and of medium thickness. Head is definitely attatched to neck, which seems to also be well attatched to his torso. All of his extremities are also there as well. He has 38 moles, one on the left upper thigh which could possibly be cancerous. Pt has blinked 237 times during shift, at least that RN could count. Patient had no complaints of pain at 1630, 1700, 1804, (etc, i'd write them all out) His lips seemed a bit chapped so i offered some blistex, which he gladly accepted. He applied the chapstick to the top lip first, then the bottom, and slowly pressed his lips together to spread it around evenly. The IV is dripping in. His D 5 1/2 with 20 MeQ of Potassium is inside of a thick clear plastic bag. It is connected to primary plum pump tubing and pumping through a R157 Med plus Pump. It is into one of the veins on his right hand. Kind of a squiggly little vein. It's a blush color, and I think it's safe to assume it's bringing oxygen depleted blood back to the heart. The pump is runnign at 200ml an hour. It is dripping now. now. now. Now. now.. (etc.) Patient wanted a snack at 1626:04, so i brought him some imitation/generic brand chips ahoy cookies. (the blue bag which came pre-.sealed from a factory in louisiana.) I don't think the cookies have 1,000 chips in every bag, but I'm assuming it's close too it, being it's a competing brand. ) I would like to start a new paragraph at this point, but i can't because I can't leave any extra space in the note, otherwise someone who's real sneaky might come in and write something in under my name. Like, 'I then tried to kill the patient ' and I don't want that to happen,, because I could get fired. Oh yes, and it's also not true. So you'll just have to deal with the no physical topic breaks. I would also like to write that the patient is taking a nap in bed. But i can't do that. Because, what if my assumption is wrong? I can only look in the room and see him laying there with his eyes closed and the covers up and listen to his heavily breathing, and write exactly that. Annie Wyman, RN
you know when you wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, and you're all sweaty and disoriented and scared. I thought I'd do something to take my mind off of that, and the commputer was sitting right here....
Anyways, I woke up from this nightmare that I had about nursing. Yeah, I know. Cool. Apparently, I wasn't descriptive enough in my 'nurses notes' about something and the hospital was getting sued. So I was locked in the room with a glass door and a bed and my old english teacher, ryan v. was standing at the door. I kept asking him if I could leave, and he said no. Not until the case is over, and if the hospital gets sued you're fired. Alright, so when you write it out it sounds stupid as hell...
Not to mention nursing notes are also stupid as hell. We already chart on 4 different things on the computer, and 8 different sheets on a clipboard about them each shift, but no, we have to write a note about them too. Which is fine if something bad happens, or out of the ordinary. The problem is you have to write at least one note per shift. So if the patient just slept the whole shift, you still have to write a note about them.. So, unless something is out of the ordinary I usually just write about 3 sentences. Something like, Pt. vitals stable. Denies pain. Resting in bed with eyes closed. Will continue to monitor. ' then sign. Apparently that's not enough. I think I had this nightmare because I was reading some of the other people's notes. They basically re-state everything they have written in other places. Like they will write down the exact vitals, and where their IV is, what's running, etc. It turns out to be a page long ( of you know, the assessment that you've already charted in the computer.)
I think it will be funny when I go back to work on friday, and write a huge story about each of my patients. Or maybe just one. It could be something like this. (Nobody reads these anyways, so it will be like a joke to myself)
10-6-07 2230 Shift
Patient in room 3005 on Telemetry floor in brainerd hospital, MN zip code 56401. Their hair is brown, but not too dark brown, maybe more of a light auburn and of medium thickness. Head is definitely attatched to neck, which seems to also be well attatched to his torso. All of his extremities are also there as well. He has 38 moles, one on the left upper thigh which could possibly be cancerous. Pt has blinked 237 times during shift, at least that RN could count. Patient had no complaints of pain at 1630, 1700, 1804, (etc, i'd write them all out) His lips seemed a bit chapped so i offered some blistex, which he gladly accepted. He applied the chapstick to the top lip first, then the bottom, and slowly pressed his lips together to spread it around evenly. The IV is dripping in. His D 5 1/2 with 20 MeQ of Potassium is inside of a thick clear plastic bag. It is connected to primary plum pump tubing and pumping through a R157 Med plus Pump. It is into one of the veins on his right hand. Kind of a squiggly little vein. It's a blush color, and I think it's safe to assume it's bringing oxygen depleted blood back to the heart. The pump is runnign at 200ml an hour. It is dripping now. now. now. Now. now.. (etc.) Patient wanted a snack at 1626:04, so i brought him some imitation/generic brand chips ahoy cookies. (the blue bag which came pre-.sealed from a factory in louisiana.) I don't think the cookies have 1,000 chips in every bag, but I'm assuming it's close too it, being it's a competing brand. ) I would like to start a new paragraph at this point, but i can't because I can't leave any extra space in the note, otherwise someone who's real sneaky might come in and write something in under my name. Like, 'I then tried to kill the patient ' and I don't want that to happen,, because I could get fired. Oh yes, and it's also not true. So you'll just have to deal with the no physical topic breaks. I would also like to write that the patient is taking a nap in bed. But i can't do that. Because, what if my assumption is wrong? I can only look in the room and see him laying there with his eyes closed and the covers up and listen to his heavily breathing, and write exactly that. Annie Wyman, RN
Weird day
Today pretty much was weird. actually, the last 3 h ours of today and yesterday. I worked in the Grace unit at work, aka the psych unit. So boring. I figured out why people like psych nursing. you don't have to do s to the hit. They say all these things like, 'it's crazy busy up here.' Then I take a look around at the relaxed environment. I have come to a conclusion. Every nurse that takes 3o times longer to do something works on the psych unit. Only one nurse gives meds up there. that's her only job. the rest of them just go talk to their 3 patients, sometime throughout the day, chart on them, and take turns doing checks. Which is checking a box as to what each person is doing and then initialing it. that's it. Super busy..... I can see why they get stressed out..... especially because there is only 8 hours to get all of that in. that only leaves them about 2 hours to talk to someone for 5 minutes and write a note about it. It can get pretty ugly. Pretty sure if I had to work up there I'd be one with the afternoon shift at 4:30. Anyways, All I did at work today was check off a huge list of where people were for 4 hours. Then I watched indiana jones. the last one, and or the best one, where he drinks out of that chalice thing. Real good.
I think the time on this blog is a couple hours off, because it's really about 2:45am, but I bet it will post like 10pm. As it turns out, i just spent the last 3.5 hours in the car. I was trying to get from brainerd to duluth... then all of a sudden this sign appeared and was like, 'Grand Rapids.' Grand rapids? what the devil? Good joke sign. REally funny. But then it turned out the sign was right and I really was in grand rapids. I don't know where I went wrong. I swear I was on 210.. but somehow that turned into a different highway. I kept thinking, when am I going to get to cromwell? I should be here by now.. then I knew why. After a good long swear, I stopped into walmart in Grand rapids around 1am to buy some oil for ayesha, (my car, and no she is not black, she's maroon.) There are a whole lot of weird people at walmart. There were 3 cars with all of the windows open playing frank sinatra. Two really old ladies were sleeping in the front of this huge truck filled with crap. Well.. maybe one was a man.. I really couldn't tell. I hope they really were sleeping, and not dead. (Not like that hasn't happened before.) Really though. when I was about 12 I was rollerblading and I thought I saw two kids behind a tree in a park making out. Pretty sure I thought to myself, eew, gross. Get a room. Then it just turned out to be a guy who was shot in the head. Thank god I was wrong. Just kidding. did that even make any sense? I'm tired. Anyway, about 2 minutes after I got there someone else called the cops. the guy committed suicide I think.
Anyways, back to walmart, I was walking around trying to find this oil when I slipped in something. I looked down thinking that someone was probably cleaning the floor and slipped on the mopped stuff. no. It was urine. That's the second time I have slipped on someone's urine in walmart. At least this time I was wearing closed toed shoes and not flip flops.
So I was in the bathroom rinsing off my shoe and these two girls walked in. They went into the stalls and were talking about some guys they had sex with.. or something. Maybe I misunderstood, but I think I was right. Then I was thinking about if they had std's. What if one of then had peed on the floor and the pee on my shoe was filled with hepatitis C. Or one of the toilet seats they sat on had chlammydia all over it. Can you get std's from toilet seats? Isn't one of the std's a spore.. wait. maybe not a spore. I think that's what plants are. I can't think right now, my point is, can't the std's live on a surface for some amount of time? And, if they can... is it safe to pee anywhere without hovering above the seat?
My sister said hepatitis is a really strong virus. Like, you could stick a needle in someone with hepatitis in 1964 and then burn down the house the needle was in, and then if you could find the needle and accidentally get some of the old blood on you you'd be infected. Or something like that. Don't shake your head like you're doubting me. I didnt' say this stuff, my sister did, and she's a doctor, which means she's smart. My point is, hepatitis is spread by bodily fluids. what if someone with hepatitis C had a cut on their hand, and opened the door to something or touched a shelf. and a microscopic amount of their blood got on something, then you touched it, and then wiped your eye. would you then be infected? Or one of your friends dared you to drink out of a random can of coke on the sidewalk for 20 dollars, and you were really poor, so you did it. What if that person had hepatitis? not that anyone would do that.. but I heard of someone who did.
Another question. What about swimming in swimming pools. What happens if a strain of some virus gets resistant to chlorine. Like instead of MRSA, methcillin resistant staphaureous. I know I didn't spell that right. Relax. Instead of that, what if it was chlorine resistant ghonnorea? It would be like swimming in a pool of death.
Well, it's a little after three, and I think I'm going to go to bed. I don't think I said anything important in this blog.. Not that I ever do. But someone needs to answer these amazing questions.
I think the time on this blog is a couple hours off, because it's really about 2:45am, but I bet it will post like 10pm. As it turns out, i just spent the last 3.5 hours in the car. I was trying to get from brainerd to duluth... then all of a sudden this sign appeared and was like, 'Grand Rapids.' Grand rapids? what the devil? Good joke sign. REally funny. But then it turned out the sign was right and I really was in grand rapids. I don't know where I went wrong. I swear I was on 210.. but somehow that turned into a different highway. I kept thinking, when am I going to get to cromwell? I should be here by now.. then I knew why. After a good long swear, I stopped into walmart in Grand rapids around 1am to buy some oil for ayesha, (my car, and no she is not black, she's maroon.) There are a whole lot of weird people at walmart. There were 3 cars with all of the windows open playing frank sinatra. Two really old ladies were sleeping in the front of this huge truck filled with crap. Well.. maybe one was a man.. I really couldn't tell. I hope they really were sleeping, and not dead. (Not like that hasn't happened before.) Really though. when I was about 12 I was rollerblading and I thought I saw two kids behind a tree in a park making out. Pretty sure I thought to myself, eew, gross. Get a room. Then it just turned out to be a guy who was shot in the head. Thank god I was wrong. Just kidding. did that even make any sense? I'm tired. Anyway, about 2 minutes after I got there someone else called the cops. the guy committed suicide I think.
Anyways, back to walmart, I was walking around trying to find this oil when I slipped in something. I looked down thinking that someone was probably cleaning the floor and slipped on the mopped stuff. no. It was urine. That's the second time I have slipped on someone's urine in walmart. At least this time I was wearing closed toed shoes and not flip flops.
So I was in the bathroom rinsing off my shoe and these two girls walked in. They went into the stalls and were talking about some guys they had sex with.. or something. Maybe I misunderstood, but I think I was right. Then I was thinking about if they had std's. What if one of then had peed on the floor and the pee on my shoe was filled with hepatitis C. Or one of the toilet seats they sat on had chlammydia all over it. Can you get std's from toilet seats? Isn't one of the std's a spore.. wait. maybe not a spore. I think that's what plants are. I can't think right now, my point is, can't the std's live on a surface for some amount of time? And, if they can... is it safe to pee anywhere without hovering above the seat?
My sister said hepatitis is a really strong virus. Like, you could stick a needle in someone with hepatitis in 1964 and then burn down the house the needle was in, and then if you could find the needle and accidentally get some of the old blood on you you'd be infected. Or something like that. Don't shake your head like you're doubting me. I didnt' say this stuff, my sister did, and she's a doctor, which means she's smart. My point is, hepatitis is spread by bodily fluids. what if someone with hepatitis C had a cut on their hand, and opened the door to something or touched a shelf. and a microscopic amount of their blood got on something, then you touched it, and then wiped your eye. would you then be infected? Or one of your friends dared you to drink out of a random can of coke on the sidewalk for 20 dollars, and you were really poor, so you did it. What if that person had hepatitis? not that anyone would do that.. but I heard of someone who did.
Another question. What about swimming in swimming pools. What happens if a strain of some virus gets resistant to chlorine. Like instead of MRSA, methcillin resistant staphaureous. I know I didn't spell that right. Relax. Instead of that, what if it was chlorine resistant ghonnorea? It would be like swimming in a pool of death.
Well, it's a little after three, and I think I'm going to go to bed. I don't think I said anything important in this blog.. Not that I ever do. But someone needs to answer these amazing questions.
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